


Know Thy Enemy

by Moriarty_assbutt1



Series: The Beauty of the Dark + Know Thy Enemy [2]
Category: Avengers, BlackFrost - Fandom, Loki - Fandom, Marvel
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-07-01
Updated: 2013-12-26
Packaged: 2017-12-16 19:22:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 66,011
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/865674
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Moriarty_assbutt1/pseuds/Moriarty_assbutt1
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sequel to The Beauty of the Dark.<br/>A year on from Loki's return to Asgard and his compassion towards the reputable Black Widow has not yet dissipated. When Natasha goes missing on a mission, Loki returns with his brother to aid with seeking her out. There may be more to Natasha's disappearance that meets the eye.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> WOO SEQUEL!
> 
> So the hiatus wasn't really much of a hiatus after all (Loki'd)
> 
> In the last chapter of The Beauty of the Dark, I finished with a scene in Asgard in third person, and so I decided to begin this story in third person as part of the prologue, but the story will go back to first person in the next chapter (just to let you know to avoid confusion)
> 
> But here it is! In all its glory, I hope you enjoy it, and I would love to know what you think! x

It was early evening, and the soft orange light of the Asgardian sunset draped through the large glass windows of the dining hall and covered the walls with the golden rays. The grand room was framed with rows of large columns that towered high up to the ceiling. The walls were embellished with beautiful ancient paintings and tapestries that documented legendary battles won by the Æsir soldiers. There was no large feast that day, only a small gathering of the Odinson family. Though Loki rejected his label as an Odinson, he had finally been coaxed from his room and given in to eating in the dining hall, such were Frigga’s wishes. Thor sat opposite Loki, feasting on the food set before him, whilst Loki ate his dinner with more finesse, he picked up small round fruit and gently placed it in his mouth as he watched his so called brother inhale his dinner. He had always regarded Thor as quite the savage when it came to dining. The Allfather sat at the head of the lengthy table that was situated in the very centre of the hall, and trimmed with intricate and elaborate ornaments. Frigga sat at the opposite end of her husband, watching over the man she regarded as her son eating slowly and unsurely. It had taken a great deal of requests for him to join them for dinner, and after nine months of his return to Asgard, he finally began to. His attitude was still wary and not particularly talkative, especially towards Odin, though, after another three months he had improved, beginning to share the events of his days since his return. Even if his stories were droll and repetitive, she cared only that he was speaking, that he was opening up. His days were all the same; over time he had been given a little more freedom of where in the palace he could roam, albeit he was never allowed out without a guard present. Heimdall often made sure to check up on the fallen prince, making sure he wasn’t up to any mischief, but Loki maintained a polite and obedient behaviour. It was obvious that something vexed him still, but he tried to pull off a stoic and cold façade, Frigga could always detect a hint of melancholy in his eyes.

Loki noticed her glancing at him and stiffened under her gaze. He could never think of her and not feel guilt; he couldn’t begin to fathom what she must think of him. He did not know the extent of her love for him, he did not know how much she cared, instead he thought he frightened her, intimidated her, he thought her caring nature towards him was just an act. He tilted his head towards her and gave her a weak smile, she replied with a warm loving one, stretching across her lips. Even if he thought it was just an act, his heart leapt at the sight of his affectionate mother, how he had missed her, and how he longed for everything to be back to the way it once was.

A sudden jolt in the large oaken double doors at the end of the room brought Loki and Frigga out of their wordless conversation. A man clad in golden Asgardian armour marched in and bowed before the Allfather and his company.

“Heimdall requests the presence of Lord Thor.” He announced promptly upon getting up from his bow.

Thor looked up from his plate in confusion, he looked at the young man standing before the table and set down his fork.

“What is this regarding?” He questioned, wiping his mouth with a serviette.

“A matter of urgency on Midgard my lord.”

Loki stiffened at the mention of the place; he had grown tired of hearing Thor’s stories of battle and visits with his fellow ‘Avengers.’ Over the past year of his return to Asgard, Thor had visited Midgard many times, whether it was to court his Lady Jane or to aid his Midgardian friends, Loki had little interest, unless of course they regarded a certain red haired agent, though Loki tried his best to hide his intrigue whenever her name was brought up. Odin would often stiffen at the mention of her name, and Frigga would merely glance at Loki with sympathy. It was no secret amongst them how Loki had fallen for the reputable Black Widow during his sentence on Midgard, many times had Frigga pleaded with her husband to lift his prohibition towards Loki courting her, saying it could do him good to have someone to feel love towards, to have someone to care for him, but Odin would not easily be swayed by his wife’s pleads, and he maintained his word, forbidding Loki to love the mortal. It wouldn’t do any good either way, Loki knew how she resented him, how her affections towards him were nothing but a trick.

Though Thor didn’t not mention her as much as he did the rest of his team, it wasn’t so much that he knew it would vex Loki greatly to have her on his mind, but he never really encountered her on his trips to Midgard, she was often away on a mission or avoiding contact with her comrades altogether. He had heard of her detachment from the group after Loki’s departure, and though his teammates deemed her behaviour as a celebration of finishing the job of babysitting the fallen prince, Thor suspected differently. He never brought up the relations between his brother and the spy with his teammates; he knew they would not fully understand, he didn’t quite understand himself.

“I see, and is my presence requested right away?” Thor asked, looking at his unfinished meal as if he did not wish to part from it.

“Yes my lord.”

“Mother, father, I believe I must be excused from our meal.” He rose from his chair and tucked it under the table before going to kiss his mother on the cheek.

“Thor,” Odin chimed in from across the table. “If your presence is requested on Midgard, return here before you leave, for I wish to know what this ‘matter of urgency’ is.”

Loki rolled his eyes at the Allfather’s nosiness; he found it difficult to withhold his disdain towards the man.

“Of course, father. I will be return as soon as possible.” Thor gave his plate one last longing glance before departing for the Rainbow Bridge.

The room fell to silence once more, and Loki returned to his meal, ignoring the feeling of Odin’s gaze upon him. He clenched his fists around his cutlery at the memory of what his father had made him do, even a year on and the memory would not soon be forgotten. The memory of how he had been forced to pull away from the woman he loved, and how she had revealed her true motives towards him, how she had split his heart in two. He could not admit the feelings he felt towards her, he knew there was still love there somewhere, but hatred and anger washed over all other emotions when she came to mind.

He felt such resentment towards her, but he knew he loved her, even after all the lies. He had visited her many times in her dreams, re-living the kisses they had shared, the romance between them, and for those few moments at the beginning of the dreams he would remember how happy she had made him, how irrevocably in love he was. However, it would not last long until he remembered it had all been cruel trickery on her part, and he would pull away, tormenting her with painful images, ripping out her heart like he had imagined doing over and over to relive the anguish she had forced upon him. And afterwards he would feel nothing but regret, knowing full well that somewhere she would be waking from the dreams, frightened and only despising him more. He hated himself for taking pleasure in her pain for those short moments. He knew how her dreams had troubled her in the past, yet he still used them as a torture against her.

It didn’t take long for Thor to return from his meeting with Heimdall. He re-entered the dining hall with a look of uneasiness and concern and took his seat across from Loki. To Loki’s surprise he pushed away his plate and rested his forehead in his hands looking defeated.

“Thor? What’s wrong?” Frigga’s voice was gentle and soothing, and Thor looked up at her with a small gentle smile before taking a short glance at Loki.

“I come with ill tidings of a fellow teammate on Midgard, mother.” Thor stated, his voice turning serious and he turned to his father. “My presence is not requested on Midgard, however I think I shall go nonetheless, to stay here and not help would be ill-mannered.”

“What is the issue?” Odin questioned curiously. Thor took another glance at the dark haired man across from him and gave a long exasperated sigh.

“It is my friend, Natasha Romanoff.” Loki’s stomach tightened at her name, a strong senses of worry began permeating through his mind, against his will. “She has been declared missing, she was last seen before a mission and has yet to return.”

Thor gave Loki a short sympathetic glance, but Loki merely looked back blankly, not revealing the inner turmoil at the blonde prince’s news.

“You think she may have been harmed?” Frigga asked, beginning to feel worry on her sons behalf.

“It is not like her, mother. She is a strong fighter, with the strength of The Lady Sif in battle, I worry that something truly bad has occurred.” Thor stated gravely, he and his mother turned to Loki who sat stiffly, his eyes fixed on an embellished table setting in front of him. “I am to return today, I will aid my friends in finding her and hopefully bring her back to safety. Heimdall has already given me a brief idea of where she may be, so I should not be long.”

“Very well.” Odin muttered and nodded his head. “Heimdall will keep an eye on you during your stay.”

“Thank you father. I was wondering if perhaps…” Thor glanced at his brother unsurely and then turned back to his father. “I was wondering if perhaps Loki would join me on my visit. The more help we have in finding Ms Romanoff the better.” He kept his gaze on the Allfather, eyeing the old man in determination. It was a long shot and Thor took it, he knew too well how his brother must have been aching at his news of the Black Widow.

Odin’s jaw tightened at the request and he glanced at his adopted son who remained staring blackly at the table in front of him.

“I do not think, Thor, that that would be a wise idea. Loki must stay in Asgard, it is punishment for his past acts of cruelty.” Odin’s deep voice echoed through the dining hall, and his words stung Loki’s ears like poison.

“But consider, my love.” Frigga interjected. “It has been a year and a half since Loki’s wrongdoings, do not you think he has learned his lesson?”

“You underestimate the severity of his wicked actions, my dear. He is lucky the punishment is not as severe as it once was, and he is allowed to even speak with you. Be it any other person, they would have been killed.”

“But-”

“I will not have this debate now.” Odin shouted over his wife, his voice reverberated around the large hall. “I understand the reason you wish for Loki to go with you, Thor, but my punishment still stands.”

“So as well as neglecting him of love you prevent him from loving another as well?” Frigga raised her voice, and Loki tore himself away from his stoic manner to glance at her in surprise. Frigga was always one with a gentle nature, it was rare that she would raise her voice in anger. “That is what you deem a worthy punishment towards our son?”

“Love between an Æsir and a Midgardian would never work.” Odin stated calmly.

“Yet you condone the love of Thor and his lady Jane!” Frigga was shouting now, she stood from her chair and her body leaned over the table towards her husband in animosity and frustration.

“It is different!” he retorted sharply.

“How?” The voices of Frigga and Odin echoed through the hall, until Loki could bear his silence no longer, and he leapt up from his chair.

“Enough!” he yelled, his sudden eruption took the Allfather and his wife by surprise, and a few guards took a step closer, gripping their weapons in defence and fear. “I have no wish to return to Midgard, I have no wish to love the woman of whom you speak, I have no wish to love anyone!” He held a long and stern glare towards the man he once called a father, and turned to leave, shoving past the guards at the door.

The hall fell into silence, only with the sounds of Loki’s footsteps marching into the distance back to his chambers. The three of them stood staring after where he had left, in utter shock. Thor knew how his brother hated to speak of Natasha, how he denied his feelings towards her, but he had seen his drawings, his sketches that greatly resembled the Russian spy, he would draw her with such elegance, and such grandeur, Thor knew his brother still loved her, despite his best efforts to hide it.

Frigga slowly returned to her seat, her face tense and stricken. She took one last glance at her husband before she began to speak again.

“Loki’s love for this Midgardian is no different than Thor’s with Jane. Why is it so hard for you to treat your sons equally?” Her voice was frail and defeated, and she fought back the tears that threatened to emerge from her eyes. She wanted only for her sons to both be happy, but it seemed neither could be so if the other was as well. “You treat him with such contempt, yet you marvel at his cruel actions. Perhaps if you showed him how much you cared for him, he would not act out in such ways.”

“Thor,” Odin sat back into his seat, disregarding his wives testimony. “You will go to Midgard tonight, and you will do what you must before returning back to us.”

Frigga rubbed her forehead in frustration, and Thor nodded at his father. The room fell into silence once more.

 

* * *

 

Loki barged into his room, tears welling involuntarily in his eyes. He sat on the end of his bed, resting his face in his palms. How he loathed each tear that fell down his cheeks, each one showing weakness. He couldn’t begin to imagine what had happened to Natasha, what had caused her disappearance. As his mind began to wonder on the possibilities he only tortured himself further. He had lied, he desperately wanted to join his brother in search for her, he wanted to be the one who recovered her and brought her back to safety, but he knew she would reject him and that only saddened him more.

 _‘No’_ He thought to himself as he rose from his bed and began to pace his room. _‘I will not stand idly by whilst she suffers, despite her hatred of me, I still love her, and I must see her safe. Somehow.’_

He paced his room for some time, trying to rid himself of the many ideas of what could be happening to his precious spider, each one only making him more fearful for her wellbeing.

There was a short rap at the door, Loki wiped his eyes with the back of his hands and called for whomever it was to enter. Thor poked his blonde head around the corner and walked into Loki’s chambers gingerly.

“What do you want Thor?” Loki asked bitterly, he had to contain his eagerness to ask Thor to take him back to Midgard.

“I am leaving for Midgard, brother.” Loki shrugged at the announcement, but Thor continued before he had a chance to answer. “I want for you to come with me, despite what father has said.”

Loki’s head perked up, he gazed in disbelief at his brother who was usually so obedient towards his father’s wishes.

“You would go against fathers word?” He inquired, his voice soft and confused.

“Well, it wouldn’t be the first time.” Thor chuckled and reached out to pat his brother on the back. Loki contained a flinch at his brother’s gesture of affection, knowing he only did it out of kindness.

“Why do you wish for me to go?” Loki asked softly, he couldn’t help but feel gratitude for his brother’s kind deed.

“I understand that you do not wish to speak of it, brother, but I know of your love for Ms Romanoff, despite how hard to try to fight it, or hide it.” Loki shifted on his feet awkwardly. “Since your departure from the mansion, I have heard a great deal of stories about Natasha’s peculiar behaviour, I am willing to bet that your leaving has left her with great vexation. I do not believe her affections towards you were the product of deceit, I think you deserve to discover the truth.”

Loki nodded, restraining the tears that threatened to fall from his eyes, god he was weak, and he knew it. He wanted more than anything to see her again, even if it was to merely observe her from a distance or just be near her, she had been like a drug to him, and he had been sober for far too long. A weak smirk played on his lips. Thor grinned at the sight of it, it had been a very long time since he had seen a smile on his brother’s face, and it filled him with much joy.

“When do we leave?”


	2. As I Lay Dying

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING: Torture

__

The soft morning sun filters through the sheer curtains, leaving patterns of light on the walls. There is a feeling of pure contentment, of satisfaction. A smile stretches its way across my lips and I turn onto my side to observe the beauty of the sleeping god that lies beside me. The sunlight pours over his muscular torso and paints his exquisite features with rays of golden radiance. His chest rises slightly and falls with each breath. He is truly beautiful. Propping myself up onto my elbow and resting my head in my hand, I continue to admire his magnificent form.

Our night together has left me completely elated, and my heart flutters as I recall the way his fingers had traced my body, how his lips had explored my skin, followed by our licentious cries of pleasure. I take a curl of his raven black hair and twiddle it between my fingers, stroking the softness and refraining from delving my hand further into his ebony locks. A small smirk creeps its way up his lips, and his eyes slowly flutter open, revealing the emerald irises that dazzle in the sunlight.

“You’re not going to cut it off, are you?” He jests and his soft and tired voice fills my heart with bliss, and I chuckle faintly before reaching down to place a kiss on his lips.

“Good morning.” I whisper, my lips merely a hairs breadth from his.

“Good morning my love.” He responds, his lips forming a grin. I smirk, adoring the ways his eyes crinkle when he smiles and the way his tongue plays against the back of his teeth. “You are so beautiful.” He muses and tucks a strand of my hair behind my ear. He closes the distance between our lips, pressing them together softly and clasping the back of my neck.

I feel something strange in the pit of my stomach, as if something is missing, as if something is supposed to happen. I keep waiting for our kisses to be interrupted; yet they persist. I’m not exactly complaining.

I draw my head away from his, sitting upright and taking in my room. The satin sheets fall from my body, revealing my naked form, and I glance back at Loki who is studying me admiringly. His sexy grin etched on his face, and he peeks his tongue out to lick his lips the way he usually does, the sight of it makes me go weak.

A sudden banging of doors is heard in the distance, and I brace myself for what I suspected. The interruption. I glance at Loki, waiting for him to do something, but his face holds a somber expression, and the room around me begins to twist into abstract shapes, swirling around me until I wake.

 

* * *

I lay on my back, abashed by the ending of my dream. Usually they pulled me in with the expectation of happiness, but as the dreams continued they would turn into nightmares, with images of Loki ripping out my heart, spitting cruel words and insults at me before I fell into a dark abyss. This dream was different. I had kept waiting for the moment when the dream would turn into a nightmare, yet it never did. I felt disorientated, confused. The past year had been full of torment through my sleep, so why was tonight different?

The cold stone beneath me was soothing to my burning hot skin, yet it provided no physical comfort to my body. I kept my eyes closed. With the idea that if I opened them, what I would see before me would confirm that it was no dream. I had so wished it would be. The faint dripping of water beside my head gave me validation of the reality, and I opened my eyes to see the dank and dimly lit room I hat been locked in. I had no knowledge of how long I had been there, I went on assumption from how many times I had felt the need to sleep, but I knew that was not a reliable method of measurement. The room was grey, with plastered and unpainted walls surrounding me, and a hard stone floor where I slept. The only way out was a steel door in the corner, every so often someone would present a small meagre meal for me, I could never see him or her, and I didn’t have the strength to try. I rarely ate the food they offered, they needed me alive for some reason, and I wasn’t going to give them the satisfaction of keeping me alive for further torture. After what felt like two weeks of waiting, I knew S.H.I.E.L.D. would never find me. I had lost hope. I had no need to stay alive, I had lived far longer than I should have, and I had accepted my fate.

I moved my left arm to lift myself up, and my wrist ached in tremendous pain as it carried the weight of my body. My right arm was broken, I knew that much, but my wrist was most likely sprained. I leaned against the wall beside me and gazed down at my broken body. My ankles were bruised and swollen from the painful torment my capturer had inflicted upon me. I couldn’t remember much from my encounters with them, only that I had been strapped to a chair and beaten repeatedly when I wouldn’t answer their questions. They interrogated me over S.H.I.E.L.D. plans and information on weaponry, but I never yielded, despite the pain. I didn’t understand why they didn’t kill me, I was no use to them, and they should have known I wouldn’t give up any information regarding S.H.I.E.L.D.

There was a slight clang behind the door and I stiffened my body, recognizing the sounds made before the door was opened. Sure enough, the metal door swung open and a large figure emerged from the doorway. Their face was concealed behind a mask of darkness, but I could tell from behind my pain-induced sluggishness that the figure belonged to a man. His voice was enough to confirm my suspicions.

“Ready for another round Ms. Romanova?” The deep voice reverberated against the cold walls of my cell, I recognised it from my vague memories of previously being strapped into a chair and beaten senseless when I refused to talk.

“You’re never going to get me to talk.” I muttered in slurred words, the man only laughed at my vulnerability, and he grabbed my aching writs to yank me up. I screamed at the pain, eliciting more laughter as the man dragged me from my confinement.

My feeble body was dragged into another grey, yet slightly larger room, and finally dropped into a chair, where my arms and legs were strapped down in restriction. My heavy head fell involuntarily to the side, I had no strength in my neck to keep it upright.

“Poor little Black Widow,” The man, still draped in darkness, went to a small metal worktable in the corner and fiddled with metal implements. “Caught in a web, how ironic.”

“Go to hell.” I tried to spit the words out but they stuttered out in a mumble. The man laughed in amusement, his hands hovering over a pair of pliers with uncertain fingers until he finally picked them up and stepped towards me.

“Hush, save your words, they’re the only thing that can save you.” His hand grabbed my jaw firmly and forced me to open my mouth. “Shall we begin with your lovely pearly whites?”

I worked my tongue to spit in his face despite the cruel grasp he kept on my jaw, and he stumbled back in disgust, wiping his face with his sleeve.

“Kill me, save yourselves the effort.”

“Bitch!” He lunged forward and grabbed my wrist, jolting it to the side. I screamed in agony, I was too weak to hold back my evident pain. He took my finger and began to bend it back slowly, the pain grew and he did so, pulling it further and further back towards my broken wrist. The man sniggered in pleasure as I cried out, my screams rebounding off the walls and ringing in my ears. “Don’t worry, we’ll kill you soon. First we want to have a little fun!”

He grabbed my jaw once again, his pliers reaching into my mouth and clamping down on a tooth at the back. Slowly he began to pull it from my gums. I let out coarse cries of pain as I felt the root of my tooth slowly pulling from place.

“That’s a good girl, scream louder, it only makes it more fun.”

I felt the warmth of my blood begin to pool in my mouth, all I knew was the sheer agony from my tooth had been released. The man walked over to his worktable, placing in down on a sheet of paper.

“In such good tact as well, such a shame to lose it.” He clicked his tongue and chuckled to himself. “Well, what use to you is it now? Shall we take another?”

I glared at him with all the strength in my frail body, I could barely see him through the darkness or through my tired eyes, but I glared at what I guessed was his face, pale and bony, that was all I could make out.

“Oh don’t look at me like that, Natasha. You’ll start making me feel guilty.” He jested, and he stepped towards me in a threatening manner. “What to do next.”

I held my glare, but it had little effect on my torturer. His bloody hand reached out and stroked the skin beneath my eyes. His touch sent a shiver down my spine, and he chuckled at the motion.

“So weak. I admit it has been difficult to crack you, Romanova, very difficult indeed. But to see you so… vulnerable, well, Christmas has come early is suppose.” He grasped onto my face, his large, rough hands smothering my mouth with his palm, he turned my head with a quick jerk, inspecting my features. “How about your eye? No. No, that won’t do. What is it going to take, Natasha? When will you give us the information?”

“Kill me.” Blood spluttered from my lips as I spoke in slurs.

“All in due time, all in due time.” He returned to his table, examining more implements.

A tried to hold back the tears that were forming in my eyes, but they would not relent. Tears began to cascade down my cheeks, they were soothing against my feverish skin, but I felt a strong sense of shame at letting my emotions get the better of me. It had been almost a year since I had cried. When I had let myself fall in love, but that was the past, it needed to be forgotten. As I sat, sobbing in the chair, my mind went back to the memories I had tried so hard to lock away. The mansion, where I had spent my time wishing I were somewhere else, now I wished I was there. I hadn’t gone back to The Avengers Mansion in about eleven months or so; the place only brought the risk of bringing back memories I no longer wanted. I had only crossed paths with some of the Avengers, merely passing them by in the S.H.I.E.L.D. base, never hanging around long enough to have a proper conversation, only really relaying short messages or nodding my head in greeting. I had spent so long becoming a shell, devoid of any emotion, but sitting in the chair, knowing I would die at any moment, it made me wish I had stayed with them. It made me wish I could apologise for my cruelty towards them, it wasn’t their fault, but mine. More tears began to fall from my eyes as I remembered their kindness. Bruce’s compassion and how kind he had been to teach me meditation. Tony’s facetious flirtations that never ceased to make me smile in amusement. Thor’s always gentlemanly behaviour, and always feeling uncomfortable at the prospect of not calling me Lady Natasha. Steve’s loving nature and the way he had persuaded me to dance with him in Berlin, and Clint. Clint was like my brother, even though I was years older than him, he always looked out for my safety, even if I hated him sometimes for being so concerned, he was always there for me, and I always took him for granted. I hadn’t spoken to him much since the events in Manhattan, whenever we were on a case together we would rarely have more than two small conversations before getting to work, I could tell how much it pained him to be on such bad terms with me, but I couldn’t bring myself to be close with him again, even if I did forgive him. I couldn’t think from my heart, not any more.

“The notorious Black Widow, crying?” The man stepped towards me again, pliers in hand. “What a sight to be seen.”

I looked through my glazed eyes, with barely enough energy to speak; I could feel myself slipping away into unconsciousness. The blood in my mouth began to pool on my tongue and I had to use all my strength to swallow it. My eyes began to close, slowly, but two sudden beams of blue light snapped my attention back into the room. I couldn’t properly see what was happening, but I could make out the figure of my torturer as he stepped back in fear. My heart pounded in panic, my weak arms using the strength from the adrenaline to attempt at wriggling free from my bindings, but I only cringed in pain. I heard a loud clang, and I looked up to see the body of my torturer smashed against his metal worktable, his body lay limp on the ground, but I felt no relief at the sight. The distant cries of other capturers were heard in the distance, and they emerged from the doorway to see what happened. They stopped dead in their tracks at they beheld their boss or colleague lying dead on the floor, and their eyes fell on the culprit. I tried turning my head to see for my self, but I felt my body weakening by the second, the room around me becoming nothing but a blur. I could hear the crashes and cries as bodies hit the ground, and I felt a cold hand gently clasp my face. The touch felt familiar, but I couldn’t place it, as if I hadn’t experienced such a contact in a while. The fighting continued around me, and I deduced that there was more than one culprit for my torturers demise. And then I heard the voice of my rescuer, soft and hushed beside my ear, and so very familiar.

“Oh my little spider. What have they done to you?”


	3. Dead To Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Natasha wakes to find herself in the S.H.I.E.L.D. medical wing of the base. Despite her broken body and the comfort of Clint by her bedside, the only thing on her mind is the God of Mischief that is staying at the base with her.

 

I couldn’t remember how I got out of the chair, how I got out of the room for that matter. I can only remember the cold hands of one of my saviours. I knew who they were, I couldn’t believe it at first, and I thought they were mere manifestations of my subconscious. My heart giving me one last memory of Loki before it failed on me, but it was real, the coldness of my ex-lovers touch had been vivid enough to confirm the belief that they were actually there. Loki and Thor had saved me from a ghastly fate. I had not been as surprised at Thor’s appearance as I had Loki’s, but I was too weak, too detached from reality to question it. The last thing I remember was another flash of blue light, and then the consciousness was knocked out of me and I was submerged in darkness.

As darkness infolded me, my mind was nothing but a surreal blur of memories. The pain in my gums as my torturer had pulled out one of my back teeth, the fear, the coldness of my grey room. But hope filled my chest. I was saved. It didn’t matter who saved me, it mattered that I had a second shot, a chance to apologise for my past year of erratic behaviour. I had cried over the idea of leaving Clint without a goodbye, without being on good terms, but I had a chance to change it, and my subconscious mind was telling me, screaming at me, to stop being so heartless. And then the other memories kicked in. Loki. I couldn’t see his face, but I could feel his cold arms wrapping around me from behind. His cool, soft breath in my ear as he whispered my name.

_‘Natalia.’_

I remember waking in someone’s arms, most likely to be Loki’s, though my eyes remained closed, I could still feel coolness in the grasp around me. I could hear muffled voices of worry and concern, and a deep voice, which I instantly recognised to be Thor’s. I tried to thank him for saving me, but only a slur of jumbled words left my lips and the grasp around my broken body tightened. Then I was gone again, fading from reality into nothingness. Visions of the man hidden from view, picking up dirty pliers, blue flashes of light, grey rooms, and endless memories of the cold arms of an old acquaintance. Even in the darkness of unconsciousness, Loki was still present. He always had been, as much as I wanted to deny it.

* * *

My eyes fluttered open to a white room, the sunlight filtered through the blinds on the windows and covered the room with resplendent brightness. I looked down at my seemingly broken body, a feeding drip was placed in my left arm and my other arm was wrapped in a cast, as was my left ankle. I shifted my head on my pillow to look around, I recognised this room to be part of S.H.I.E.L.D. hospital ward and I let out a sigh of relief to be somewhere that felt close to a home. Clint sat in an armchair beside a large window that overlooked the courtyard between different S.H.I.E.L.D. facilities. His attention was focused on a white clipboard, which I could only assume was my medical chart. He rested his face on his fist as his eyes studied the information before him, and he looked utterly defeated.

“Clint?” My voice was small and croaky as I tried to speak. He lifted his head almost instantly, his eyes glistening with relief.

“Tash.” He breathed, quickly setting down the clipboard and rushing to my bedside. “You’re awake. How are you feeling?”

“Alive” I could only muster a whisper without hurting my throat, Clint smiled let out a weak laugh.

“Glad to hear it.” We exchanged another smile, and I shifted my arm awkwardly to prop myself up. “Here, let me help you with that.”

Clint grabbed a small remote on my bedside table and clicked a button, slowly the part of my bed where my pillows were set began to rise, and I was sitting up. Clint laughed as I rose, jabbing at how it looked like a vampire emerging from a coffin.

“It’s good to see you awake, you’ve been out of it for four days.” My eyes widened at this knowledge, four days of unconsciousness, I must have really been worse than I thought.

“How did I get out of there, Clint?” I asked finally, the curiosity couldn’t be dismissed so easily.

“You don’t remember?” He furrowed his brow and set the remote down on the bedside table.

“I think I do, but I need you to tell me, just so I can be sure.” I held his gaze with a stern look, but he tore his eyes away from mine and hesitated before finally deciding to answer.

“Thor and Loki. They were the ones who saved you.” He muttered plainly. I exhaled deeply, realising I had been right and it was no dream. “Once we had a vague idea of your whereabouts, Loki teleported Thor and himself there to get you, they were lucky to appear in the same room as you, and even more lucky to find you alive. You were weak Nat, I’d never seen you in such a state.”

“Loki?” My voice went smaller than ever at the mention of his name, it was the first time it had passed my lips since he had left. Clint sighed, putting his hands together and fumbled with his fingers in irritation.

“After you had been missing for a worrying amount of time, we tried to contact Thor, Heimdall saw this and filled Thor in on what happened. Thor brought Loki back to help look for you, we didn’t ask him to come.”

“Where is he now?”

“Fury’s got him detained, apparently Thor brought him here against Papa Odin’s wishes, so Fury’s debating whether or not to send him back.”

“Why wouldn’t he?” I asked, creasing my brow in confusion. Clint hesitated again, something about the situation was difficult to discuss.

“Fury knows about you and Loki.” I kept my face stoic, hiding the shock and fear at what Clint had just revealed. “Thor began talking about your relationship, saying something about it being part of a job from S.H.I.E.L.D.”

I slapped my good hand over my face in embarrassment and anger, certain that the news had spread to the rest of the Avengers.

“Fury didn’t deny it Nat, he didn’t correct Thor, so you need to tell me, was it all really just part of a job?”

“No.” I whispered, my voice dripping with shame.

“I didn’t think it was, but Fury’s going to want to talk with you when you’re ready. Good luck with that conversation.” We sat in silence for a moment, and Clint went back to awkwardly playing with his thumbs, until I spoke up.

“How long am I going to be here for?”

“Well, you’ve got a broken leg, a broken arm, a sprained wrist and a badly twisted ankle, add mild malnourishment and dehydration to that list and you’re gonna be here for a couple of weeks.” He chuckled as my eyes widened in response. “But knowing you, you’ll heal quickly and be of here in no time.”

“How long until I’m on another job?”

“Much longer than a couple of weeks Nat, S.H.I.E.L.D. wants you under their watch for a while, you went through a lot. It’s going to take a while before they deem you ready for a mission.” I threw my head back onto my pillow in anger and let out a frustrated groan. “Well, I better be off. I’ve got a job in Washington, but I should be back in a couple of weeks. Don’t heal too quickly, I don’t want to miss your first steps!” He patted my leg cast mockingly, chuckling to himself when he saw my angered glare.

“Clint?” He stopped as he was approaching the door and swivelled round to face me.

“Yeah?”

“I’m sorry, for the past year, me being a jerk. I was just…”

“You were working through some stuff, I know. I’m sorry for everything back at the Mansion, I didn’t understand what was going on between you and Loki, and I should have been more concerned about you when he left. I was blinded by hate towards him, Tash.”

“Don’t worry about it, we’re even now.” I smiled back at him; it felt good to be back on friendly terms with him. I couldn’t deny how much I had missed being his friend the past year.

“Good bye, Nat. I’ll see you in a couple of days.” Clint moved over to me and kissed me on the forehead and left. I was left to myself in the hospital room, where the only sounds were the heart monitor beside my bed and the distant sounds of movement in other rooms. I looked around for something to do, there was a small television I the corner of the room but I ignored it, T.V. was nothing of a particular interests to me. I let out a loud groan of boredom and fell back to my pillows. This stay in hospital was going to take a long time. But I felt a strong sense of unease at Loki’s presence, and the idea of Fury knowing of our past relationship, if you could call it that.

_‘Loki could be staying at S.H.I.E.L.D. for an extensive amount of time, I wonder what -or who- will he use as a distraction this time?’_

I inwardly kicked myself for thinking about him, I had spent to damn hard to eradicate him from my thoughts, I couldn’t let him back in.

_‘But then again, he did save you Natasha. I suppose you should be thanking him, or else you could be dead.’_

Maybe dying wasn’t such a bad thing. I had already accepted such a fate as I sat in the chair, at my tortured mercy. Sure I had felt relief and hope at the idea of survival, but what good was I now? I had made amends with Clint, which was all I wanted initially, and with my broken bones and S.H.I.E.L.D. knowing about Loki, I wasn’t exactly going to be put on a case straight away. I lived for my job, it sounds stupid, but what more was I than an agent, a killing machine. I had been raised, shaped into a perfect killer. I never had a chance at a proper life. Moving from one place to the next, never having a sense of feeling at home. Never being able to love someone, at least, not again.

I stifled a few tears and clenched my good fist.

_‘Stop thinking like that, Natasha. It’s stupid, it’s selfish and it’s not true. There’s more to you than just being an agent, there’s so much more, you proved that last year, and though you strive to avoid that subject, you don’t really understand how better off you were when you opened yourself up.’_

I relaxed my fist and let my head rest back onto my pillow, my mid was conflicted, I knew the idiocy of what I was thinking, I knew that I blamed myself too much, but I hated that I knew I was better off with Loki. He was poison. He lied to me, and though he didn’t know it, he crushed me. But I was right in thinking that when I had opened myself up to him, I had never felt happier, more complete.

_‘Ugh, I sound like the main character of a teenage-romance novel’_

I rolled over in annoyance, flicking my fingers against each other out of boredom, trying to keep my mind from thinking of the Trickster.

* * *

Commander Fury was next to visit me, his one good eye searching me sceptically as he entered the room. My stomach twisted, knowing he was going to have a lot to say. He pulled a chair beside my bed and took a seat, taking a while to settle into it and think of something to say. Finally he broke the silence.

“How are you feeling?” His words were plain, I couldn’t detect any animosity, and that only made me more nervous.

“Bored out of my mind.” I joked, trying to make light of the situation.

“I meant medically, how are your injuries?”

“Sore, but they’ll heal… in time.”

“You should be discharged from the hospital ward once they’ve treated your dehydration and malnourishment. Your bones, well, you heal quickly, so we don’t need to worry about that too much. You’re lucky to be alive Agent Romanoff.”

“I know I am.”

“You’ll be given a room at the base until you have fully recovered.” Fury paused in thought, and looked at me uncertainly. “I need to ask you a few questions.”

“Clint told me you would.” I kept my talking to a minimum, replying in short sentences, as I didn’t want to strain my voice.

“I’ll ask you about your mission later, when you’ve had some more rest, but first I want to talk to you about Loki.” I gazed at me, waiting for me to make some sort of face or show an emotional response, when I remained stoic he continued. “It has come to my attention that you and Loki shared a close relationship last year during his stay in Manhattan. Thor tells me you informed Loki it was a fake relationship on your part, an assignment from S.H.I.E.L.D. I would like to know why you told him this.”

I hesitated before I made a reply, letting out a deep exhale before beginning to speak.

“Loki told me the relationship was nothing but a distraction during his stay, I told him that for me, the relationship was nothing but an assignment. He hurt me, so I wanted to make it seem he hadn’t, that I never truly had feelings for him.”

“And you did have feelings for him?”

“Yes, unfortunately, I did.” I looked away from Fury’s gaze, I couldn’t believe the words that were coming from my mouth, they sounded as ridiculous as they seemed.

“And when did this relationship begin?”

“A two weeks or so into Loki’s stay.” I bowed my head in shame, but Fury kept an unemotional façade, it was quite reassuring that his voice held no judgement or anger.

“To what extent was this relationship, Agent?” He was relentless in his questioning, but I understood that he merely wanted to know the truth. He was entitled to it after all, a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent and a previous war criminal in a relationship was something to be concerned about.

“We were involved physically, if that’s what you were asking.” I stared at the wall in front of me in mortification; the whole situation was my worst nightmare. I felt like such a fool. Fury let out a large sigh of discomfort.

“Agent Romanoff…”

“I know what you’re going to say.” I cut him off in irritation. “You’re going to say that I’m emotionally compromised. Well I’m not. Not anymore. Loki means nothing to me, he used me and threw me to the ground. I don’t care about him anymore. And if you’re wondering, that is the reason for my erratic behaviour the past year.”

“Agent Romanoff.” Fury tried to cut in, but I wasn’t having it.

“Do you understand how difficult it was for me? To go against everything I had been trained into thinking, to think from my heart for the first time, only to have it kicked to the side like it was nothing? And then I had to forget, to shove it to the back of my mind in order to do my job. I have worked too hard not to be emotionally compromised, Fury, too damn hard.” My voice became raspy and I finished, my anger rising at the thought of being seen as emotionally compromised, being thought of as weak.

“Agent Romanoff, now can I speak?” Fury was calm; his deep voice was almost reassuring. I nodded my head for him to continue. “You are not seen as emotionally compromised, forming an attachment with someone is perfectly normal, considering your close-quarters, despite who this attachment may be towards. Of course it is not ideal, and I know you have been trained to think purely from your head, but you are in no trouble with S.H.I.E.L.D.”

He chuckled at my look of surprise and patted my shoulder.

“The only thing we want from you Agent Romanoff, is for you to recover, so that we may have our best agent back at work.” He rose from his chair and moved to the door, I stared after him in disbelief.

“I don’t understand.” I called after him, and he turned back to face me. “Loki is the enemy.”

“Was the enemy.” Fury corrected. “There is still animosity between him and a few of the Avengers, but Loki’s stay on Midgard actually proved useful, and he became much less aggressive. I believe that you had something to do with that Natasha, despite what he says. And you know what they say, keep your friends close, and your enemies closer. We’ll be monitoring the area where we found you, and we’ll update you on anything we find concerning your capturer”

Fury left the room after that, his long black coat swaying behind him as he walked down the white halls of the medical ward. I was still in disbelief over it all, I had expected a heated confrontation, where he would reprimand me for being so foolish, but instead he was calm, even kind.

I spent the rest of the day watching T.V. despite how much it bored me, I rung for the nurses to see if they could bring me a book of some kind but they were unable to retrieve one due to a busy schedule. So I was left to watch brainless reality shows, which made me cringe with the stupidity of the featured celebrities. I did enjoy a moment in a talent show, where someone was performing ballet quite beautifully, and I actually got annoyed when the judges denied her a place. I always held a candle for dance, I had a background of Ballet from my years in the Black Widow Training Programme, but I was sure that now, after such injuries, I would have trouble getting back into dancing.

* * *

9:38 PM.

I was beginning to drift off into sleep when I heard a light rap at my hospital room door. I barely had enough time to sit upright before the door creaked open. My eyes were still blurry from the early stages of sleep, but I could recognise the tall figure almost instantly. As my eyes adjusted to my surroundings I noticed how he had changed since I last saw him. His ebony hair was shorter than before, and curled just under his ears, no doubt even the prisoners on Asgard even get luxury haircuts. His emerald green eyes shone through the darkness of my room and studied my broken form. I jolted upright, and a sharp pain ran up my neck from the quick movement, I tried to hoist myself onto my arms to sit upright my it was useless, both my arms were too weak to do anything.

“Do not fret.” Loki spoke in a hushed tone and it caused a twinge in my heart to hear his voice again. He gestured towards my pillows. “Would you like some help?”

“Just pass me that remote.” I ordered coldly. Loki passed me the grey remote on my side table and I clicked the button that made my bed rise so that I was sitting upright. As I moved Loki took a seat beside my bed awkwardly. His eyes drifted over my injured body with surprisingly sorrowful eyes.

“I thought you were being detained.” My voice was craggy and quiet.

“S.H.I.E.L.D. has given me a room to stay in for the time being, as a result I am free to wonder the base, though some facilities are strictly off limits.” He whispered softly, and he leaned closer towards me cautiously. “How are you faring?”

“I’m well, I suppose I should thank you for that.” I replied coldly.

“You should be thanking Thor for bringing me.”

“Why did you come?” I held no emotion in my words, not even curiosity. I didn’t want to be pleased to see him, but my heart was aching, fighting to elicit some emotion in my words, and it took so much strength to fight back.

“To help locate you, Thor was worried about his comrade, I merely helped him in discovering you.”

“Even going against your fathers wishes?” I raised an eyebrow, but Loki merely chuckled.

“I have gone against my fathers word many times.”

“I know.” I remained cold, and Loki’s face-hardened at my terse response. “When you found me, you called me a little spider,  _your_  little spider. Why was that?”

“It is what I called you before was it not?” Loki relaxed in his chair and smiled wryly.

“When you were feigning your love for me.”

“Old habits die hard I suppose.” His infamously devious smirk played across his lips, and if I wasn’t invalided I would have lunged on him and hit him with all my might, but instead I lay in a hospital bed, too weak to even prop myself up.

“Why are you here Loki?” I asked after a brief silence. “Did you come to revel in my pain?”

“Nothing of the sort!” He exclaimed in mock offense. “Why would I do such a thing to the woman I went out of my way to save? No, I merely came to ask how you were faring.”

“And you got an answer. So why don’t you leave?” I snapped bitterly. Loki gave a smug smile and leaned forward in his chair.

“I suppose I wanted to know if you received my gifts?”

“The books?” I tensed up as I recalled the heap of ruined books on my bed the day I returned from my mission in St. Petersburg, and how the only one left in perfect condition was ‘The Old Man and the Sea’, The book that had changed our relationship entirely. “Yes I received them. Thank you, for ruining the books from my childhood, from my past, that was so gentlemanly of you.” I replied sardonically and through almost gritted teeth.

For a brief moment I could have sworn I had seen a glimmer of regret in the Tricksters eyes, but it soon faded back to the cold façade he presented.

“And what childhood was that?” He spat, though his face did not present such cruelty as his words, he remained emotionless in his features, tearing away from my gaze and glaring at the floor. His words stung my heart, he had been one of the few people I had confided in about my childhood, and he had used it against me.

“I want you to leave.” I uttered, taking my glare away from him. Looking at him was too painful. “Leave, or I will call security and you’ll be taken back by force.”

“We wouldn’t want that, now would we?” He mocked, and he rose from his chair slowly. But paused as he towered over me, his features softened. “I actually came to make amends, hoping we could move past this acrimony towards each other, we hold such valuable information about each others lives, softening our terms would ease my uncertainty about such a thing.”

“What acrimony? You did nothing to hurt me, how could you when I felt nothing towards you?” I said dispassionately. My gaze fixed on the wall in front of me, trying to display as little interest in him as possible. “Unless you are referring to the how I feel about you murdering my colleague, Phil Coulson?”

Loki tensed up, his eyes glaring down at me, and I couldn’t help but be reminded of how he used to look at me like that when we would meet in the sitting room of the mansion, at the beginning of his stay. My heart ached to see him so cold and calculating.

“That is enough, Ms Romanoff. I understand we are on bad terms, that is clear now.” He turned to leave, but not before glancing at me one last time, and as his eyes moved from each of my injuries, they softened. “Good night, Natalia.” He whispered, and he moved out of the room swiftly, and gently pulling the door to a close behind him.

I felt as if I hadn’t breathed the whole time he had been there, and I let out a long exhale. The way his gaze had softened as he had looked over me was strange, as was the falter in his façade, showing a brief glimmer of regret.

_‘Maybe he’s not as cold as he once was, but that doesn’t mean he’s back to the way he was when I was with him. No, that was an act.’_

My heart ached more than my bones, and my eyes stung from the beginnings of tears.

_‘All those months I spent trying to forget him, trying to move on, and now he’s back, and I’m back to square one. Drowning in the emotions I wanted to escape. Fantastic.’_

I was alone in the darkness of my room, left with nothing but heartache. I didn’t know how long he would be staying on earth, I didn’t know how long I would be staying in hospital, but the notion of staying in the S.H.I.E.L.D. base, only a few doors down from him, it angered me to my very core.

His smug little face, the smirk that played on his lips and the attitude that would never suggest a previous romance between the two of us, well why would it? There never was a romance between us, well, not on his part anyway. It all made me furious, I wondered why Fury had not ordered Loki back to Asgard immediately, Odin didn’t want him on earth, and neither did I for that matter. I spent too long trying to forget him. I wasn’t about to falter just because he called me his 'Little Spider' again.

_'Maybe that's what he wanted? To provoke some kind of response from you, to torment you. No, he doesnt know you still love him, he couldn't.'_

Love, yes, I loved Loki, I was sure of it. Despite everything, I still loved him. But I didn't know how that could be possible after everything he had done, even after I knew his affections were nothing but an act. I hated myself mostly, for falling for him in the first place, but I could despise myself as much as I wanted, the feelings were not going to go away. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: So I wanted to update before tomorrow seeing as I'll be in London all day, and plus I really just wanted to post this chapter as I left the last one on a bit of a cliffhanger.  
> I might not update with the next chapter as soon as I wished, because I recently got on a two week summer course at the drama school I want to go to next year (Eeeeppp!) And so basically, I'll be going to and from London everyday and probably wont have much time, but who know maybe I'll post something on the weekend? Anyway that was just incase I don't update and you think I've given up on this story, I promise I haven't!
> 
> Thank you for listening to my rambles.  
> Please Review. x


	4. The Games We Play

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki thinks Natasha despises him. Natasha thinks that Loki used her. Unbeknownst to each other, they both hold a place in their hearts for one another. Who will be the first to wave the white flag and rebuild the relationship that they depended on so much to help drive away the loneliness and fear?

It had taken me hours to fall back to sleep after Loki's visit, my mind was buzzing with confusion over why he had visited me. Was it solely to take pleasure in my pain? But there was something off about him, the way he looked at me when he first entered, it was a soft gaze, almost sorrowful, and my mind wouldn't make it easy for me to forget. Images of his smug face swirled through my subconscious, every time I closed my eyes I was confronted by his emerald eyes gazing back at me through the darkness.

_'_ _I understand we are on bad terms, that is clear now’_

His silky voice was difficult to forget, and the austerity of his words pained my heart as they echoed through my mind.

_‘What childhood was that?’_

I tossed and turned restlessly, my mind filled with nothing but the sheer pain his visit had created. I wanted badly to be able to get out of bed and go for a walk like I used to, but my broken ankle kept me bedridden for the night. I felt like an animal in a cage, unable to go beyond the confines of my hospital bed, unable to do what I longed to do. It was almost cruel, but admittedly it was better that being locked in the damp grey cell that I had barely escaped from with my life. I finally fell asleep at some point around one O’clock in the morning, and my mind drifted into a peaceful oblivion.

* * *

My eyes opened and took in the familiar white room. I had wished I would wake to find myself somewhere else, a hotel room perhaps, with no broken bones, no bruises. I went to reach for the remote beside my bed, my muscles were sore and I cringed with the pain. I clicked the button that made my bed rise so that I was sitting upright, my eyes still adjusting to the brightness, it seemed the curtains and blinds on the windows weren’t exactly doing any good.

I sat for a few moments in thought, until there was a soft knock on my door. I called for whomever it was to enter, and Steve peeped his head around with a grin on his face.

“Hey Nat.” He walked further into the room and took a seat beside my bed. “I had a chat with some of the nurses, and they let me bring you some breakfast.”

He lifted his hand to show a brown coffee shop takeaway box and I glanced at it sceptically.

“You do know the hospitals provide free breakfasts for me, right?” I smiled back at the blonde superhuman next to me, he chuckled and passed me the box.

“I thought you might want something a little nicer than hospital food, open it.” He watched as I opened the box with uncertain fingers. Inside was a stack of freshly made pancakes, topped with fruit and a small container of maple syrup. “They’re good, not as good as the ones you used to make, but a good second place.”

“Thank you.” I leant over to him for a hug, he looked surprised as I did so, and I was reminded of how coldly I had treated him over the past year. “Steve… I’m sorry for how I’ve been acting recently, towards you and the other guys. I got a little detached from reality, and I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be.” He said simply. “We were all adjusting to getting back into work, and I know your tactics, to stay clear of too much emotion. It’s how you do your job.”

We exchanged another friendly smile, and I looked down to pour some syrup over my breakfast, Steve was right, it was better than hospital food.

“So where’s Tony and Bruce?” I asked as I arranged the fruit on the pancakes.

“Tony’s working in Miami for the time being, and I use the term ‘working’ loosely. Bruce is doing some work in Stark Tower, the guy practically lives there now, but he says he’s gonna come to visit you once he’s got some stuff out of the way. I saw Thor earlier this morning, but I’m pretty sure he’s busy with Loki.” Steve took a long sigh and settled into his chair, his brow furrowed in annoyance. “Can you believe that he’s back? I mean, I thought that once he was gone, he was gone for good.”

“Any word on how long he’s staying?”

“Fury’s keeping it quiet, but from the fact that Loki now has his own room at the base, I’m guessing we wont be rid of him for a while.”

I didn’t know if it was good news or bad news that Loki could be staying. On one hand, he brought such anger, pain and embarrassment to me, but there was always the subtle feeling of happiness when I saw him, even if it was cut short by the remembrance of what he did. His words ‘Little spider’ had been all I could think about, there was more to them than just a silly nickname, there was something else but I couldn’t put my finger on it. I would be a fool to presume it was care or attachment, I had made that mistake before.

“But how are you holding up?” He asked, breaking me away from my thoughts of  trickster.

“Are you asking about my injuries or my sanity?” I laughed, and Steve grinned at how I was making light of the subject. “I’m pretty sore still, but it’s the boredom that I worry about.”

“You’ve got a TV though, man I love those things, far better than back in our day, huh?” I gave Steve an incredulous smirk and chuckled at his easy amusement.

We sat and talked for an hour or so, every so often a nurse would come in to check up on me. Steve filled me in on some of the gossip floating around the S.H.I.E.L.D. base that I had missed out on over the past year. After some persuasion I told Steve about my last mission and how I had ended up where I did.

“I had finished the mission that S.H.I.E.L.D. had assigned me with, which was taking down an underground weapons trafficking in Coahuila Mexico. I had been separated from some of the new recruits on my team, as I had sent them in a direction that would most likely be safer, I was right. I remember making my way to leave the scene when I was grabbed from the behind, a large hand covering my mouth with a cloth, and then I remember nothing. They had used chloroform to tranquilize me, that much I know. And the next thing I knew, I was hauled in a grey cell, with no bed, no furniture whatsoever.” I trailed off after a while, it was difficult to re-visit my time spent there. Steve just nodded understandingly and smiled out of sympathy.

I went quieter after that, my desire for conversation began to die out and Steve took it as his cue to leave. He rose from his chair and took the empty coffee shop box with him. I stopped him as he began to leave.

“Steve?”

“What’s up?”

“Can you tell that to Fury, so I don’t have to go over it again with him?” I sounded so weak with my request and I inwardly kicked myself for asking it of him.

“Sure thing.” He smiled again and departed from my room, leaving me once more to be all by myself.

I inwardly kicked myself again for not asking for a book or something, but it was too late to do anything. The day went by rather slowly, I kept myself occupied by watching some television. I somehow found myself watching reality show marathons and I hadn’t a clue what any of they were but they made me cringe from how absurd some of the show’s stars were. And I wondered what possessed people to watch such things, and what they actually found captivating about them. After enough time of enduring such shows I skipped over to the news channel, I guessed that would have to suffice.

* * *

Thor was next to visit me, he had a huge grin of sheer happiness as he greeted me, embracing me with his muscular arms, and I couldn’t deny how much I had missed him.

“My Lady Natasha!” The greeting was sweet to my ears, and my lips stretched into a huge involuntary grin, despite the pain I felt in doing so due to the bruises.

“Good to see you Thor.” I replied, subconsciously holding him tighter in the embrace. I owed the Asgardian prince my life.

“It is good to see you well, my lady. We all feared for your life, I feared the worst had happened and we would lose you.” He looked sorrowful and glanced at the cast on my arm, a scribbled signature from Steve strewn across it from earlier. “My brother and I were very fortunate to find you when we did.”

“Thank you, I owe you my life.” I smiled candidly and took his hand with my good hand, squeezing it affectionately.

“I could not have done it without my brother, as I fought off the cruel assailants, Loki was busy saving you from your stupor.” Thor paused for a moment in hesitation. “He was greatly worried about you, my lady.”

I rolled my eyes incredulously, Thor’s words seemed sincere, but I could not believe them, not after how smug and cruel Loki had been the evening prior.

“Thor, Loki does not care about my wellbeing, he only seeks to redeem himself in the eyes of your father.”

“I disagree, my father has no knowledge of Loki’s presence on Midgard, I think you will find him much changed.”

I quickly changed the subject away from Loki, and Thor filled me in on how Jane Foster was faring in New Mexico. He also told me of his time on Asgard with his family, but he kept his mentioning of Loki to a minimum. I found his stories a good substitute for books, they were filled with such incredible and unbelievable content, they may as well be written down and published. He left after an hour, mumbling something about finding Loki for some reason, apparently he had been wondering the base quite a lot and it was often difficult to locate him.

Once again I was left to my own entertainment, flicking through the channels until my thumb began to ache.

* * *

3:15

I didn’t hide my surprise at my next visitor, as Loki stepped through the doorway in black jeans and a plain blue top that had the lettering ‘S.H.I.E.L.D.’ printed boldly on the front (Obviously something S.H.I.E.L.D. had given him to substitute his Asgardian attire), I switched off the television and turned my startled attention the Trickster. He stepped gingerly towards my bedside under my sceptical gaze.

“I’m not an animal in a zoo, Loki. You can’t just come to watch me for your own amusement.” Loki smirked at my snarky comment, and chuckled as he took the seat beside my bed.

“I simply came to give you a gift.” He relaxed into the chair and lifted up his hand to reveal a large book. The sight of it made my lips threaten to curl into a grin with happiness, of course Loki knew that I would want for a book, but the question on my mind was why did he bother? “I overheard Rogers speaking to an agent about how bored you were, when I saw this book in one of the S.H.I.E.L.D. common rooms, I thought of you.”

I took the book from him carefully, and he chuckled under his breath at my uncertainty. The first thing I noticed about it was the author, Ernest Hemingway.

“You thought of me?”

“The author of the book prompted such thought, he wrote ‘The Old Man and the Sea’ did he not?” Loki’s tone was unnervingly friendly, and I was curious to discover his ulterior motive.

“He did.” I replied bluntly. “Why did you bring me this Loki?”

“I wish to be civil, like we once were.” His voice was soft, and I could blame it on my weariness but I could not detect any falseness in his words. I furrowed my brow in confusion over his strange behaviour.

“That was just an act, on both of our parts.” I said finally, regaining a stoic composure.

“Was it entirely an act?” He perked his head up from gazing at the floor to look at me with a puzzled look on his face.

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“You told me your life story, everything you were too afraid to even tell Barton, so why did you tell me?” His silky voice was quiet and questioning, my heart ached at the sound.

“S.H.I.E.L.D. told me to get close to you, there was no way you would believe me if I remained closed off towards you. I was merely doing my job.” The lie seemed adequate enough, but Loki only furrowed his brow further. I was thrown by his change of attitude since his last visit. The curt and smug trickster that had taunted me the day earlier was not present, instead a softer, kinder man took his place, and he reminded me of the days we spent together in each other’s company.

“No. No, you would not divulge such information to a threat such as myself, Natalia…”

“Why do you call me that?” I snapped, the way in which he said my name was enough to make me melt, but I couldn’t believe his sudden acts of kindness, there had to be something behind it.

“It is your name.”

“Natasha, that’s my name.” I said sternly.

“You never objected to it before.” He creased his brow further, looking more like a dejected child than the man who had ripped out my heart.

“Well that was before.”

Loki rose from the chair swiftly, he began to pace my room, his hands clasped together behind his back and bowing his head deep in thought. I watched him as he did so, going from one side of the room to the other in long sweeping steps.

“Natali- Natasha, there was another reason I came to your room this afternoon, another reason I wished to make amends, beside your knowledge of my past. I fear I cannot contain it much longer.” He took a long hesitant sigh, pausing in front of my bed and taking a strong stance where he stood, as if to brace himself for some sort of impact.

“What is it, Loki?” I asked after some time of waiting in silence, trying to sound as indifferent as possible. My mind was already going over the possibilities of what he might say.

“My behaviour, before I departed for Asgard last year, it was an affectation, a demand from my father.” Loki looked at me, detecting my noticeable confusion. “What I am trying to say, to the best of my ability, is that my actions towards you, when we were… intimate, they were genuine.”

My mind was buzzing like crazy at Loki’s statement, I couldn’t quite comprehend it. My heart was willing me to believe him, to reveal the truth behind my affections towards him, but my head told me otherwise, thinking it was another lie, something to keep him occupied again during his stay.

“How am I supposed to believe that?” I snorted, a fake smile etching across my lips.

“You are skilled in detecting lies are you not? You should be able to know that what I say is the truth.” He remained diligent in persuading me.

“From The God of Lies? It’s a different story.”

“Natalia, I speak the truth.” He stated, his voice firm and seemingly sincere. My heart was thumping against my chest, as if it were to burst out at any given moment.

“Why would you tell me this? Do you think I’m going to believe you again? Take back my place in your sick little games that help you pass the time?”

“There were no games, no distractions. You must believe what I say is true.” To my surprise his voice was pleading, and my mind began to reconsider its scepticism towards his declarations. I wanted to believe him, I wanted to so badly, but the year of detachment from emotion had faltered my ability to trust so easily.

“I think you should leave.” I uttered the words with an attempt at coldness, but my voice broke slightly and I inwardly cursed for it doing so.

“Natalia, I tell you this only because it is the truth, I do not tell people such close and personal things as part of a game, I told you of my childhood, the pain I suffered over the years, it was no game that I was playing.” His hands clutched the frame of my hospital bed in frustration. “I spent the past year on Asgard hating you for what you did, wishing I had not given myself to you so easily, it brought me comfort to know that you thought it was nothing but a game, it brought me comfort to torment you in your dreams, but I never stopped truly loving you. When I found you, beaten and broken in that chair, I remembered that. I feared we had lost you and I felt the pain that such an event could bring. My father did not want me to love a Midgardian, he feared I did not deserve such a feeling as love, so as commanded by the Allfather, I had to make you believe that I never loved you. I wished that your skills in detecting a lie would work but you only retorted with telling me it was all false on your part, it broke my heart, Natalia.”

I was speechless, baffled. Thor’s words from earlier that day flooded back to me.

_‘He was greatly worried about you, my lady….I think you will find him much changed’_

I sat completely dumbstruck, it was as if he were confessing his love to me for the first time all over again.

_‘Why would he tell me if it wasn’t a game? Why would he tell me if he still thinks my affections towards him were fake?’_

“Loki, you need to go.” I said finally, his face fell as the words fell from my lips, but I wasn’t so easily fooled by his act.

“Natalia, please.”

“No. No, you have no right to call me that. I will not fall prey to one of your tricks Loki.” My voice was strained, my words begging to be shouted but my throat wouldn’t allow it. I spoke in a raspy whisper, but they had an effect nonetheless. “Leave.”

“I will go, I apologise for my intrusion. I will not disturb you further.” And with that he turned to leave.

I watched him go, my heart aching with every step he took for the door, but I was proud of myself for not succumbing to his persuasions. His tricks were useless against me, and after what he had done to me before I knew to not be so easily fooled. Once he was gone and out of sight, I relaxed into my bed, fumbling the book Loki had given me, and fingering the pages with care. I scanned the front page sceptically, ‘A Moveable Feast.’ I recalled reading it many years before, and I smiled at the memory. I had been reckless in those days, a walking disaster, but I had always found solace in the reading of books, I suppose it is because they transported me to another world, allowed me to connect to characters different from myself. Books were something of a distraction from my life, and as Loki had said the year prior,

_“A good escape.”_

My grip around the book tightened in anger as I remembered the person who had given it to me. Without thinking, I flung it to the other side of the room. The delicate pages flailing as it fell, and landed with its spine facing the ceiling and the pages sprawled open on the floor. I instantly regretted throwing it, it may have been a tactic of persuasion, but it was the only decent approach to entertainment I had. I looked at the book longingly from my bed, knowing it was out of my reach, and I suddenly felt as sick as I was.

I had denied it as much as I could, but the fact of the matter was that I was too debilitated to even get out of bed. I turned my gaze towards my swollen ankles, finally taking in how damaged I was. I had seen far worse in my line of profession, but even so, I had usually shrugged off an injury, knowing it would heal in time, never had I been confined to a hospital bed before. That was how I knew it was bad.

I lay helplessly in bed, my mind going over what had just occurred. I was infuriated by Loki’s attempt at tricking me once more.

_‘Does he really think me that inane?’_

I tried my best not to clench my fists out of fury, each time I did so it brought heavy twinges of pain up my arm and made me growl in discomfort. Instead I clenched my teeth at the thought of him, his every aspect, and every element made me tense with annoyance. Annoyance because that no matter what, I would always hold a place in my heart for him, no matter if I wanted to or not.

 

* * *

I had finished the diner that the hospital had provided with little enjoyment, the food was dry and poorly prepared and I yearned for Bruce’s cooking from back at the mansion. The nurses had stopped by my room briefly to check up on me shortly after Loki’s departure. Without being asked to do so, one nurse picked up the book I had hurled across the room and placed it neatly on my nightstand, and I nodded in thank you, still unsure whether I wanted it or not. After an hour of flicking thought the channels on the television I had finally yielded and picked it up, indulged myself with the soft aged papers of ‘A Movable Feast’. By six twenty one in the evening I was already close to the finish, being the fast reader that I am. The book provided the distraction I needed, despite it being the gift from a man I held such animosity towards.

Bruce knocked on my door as I was finishing the last chapter, I motioned for him to enter the room, my eyes fixed on the pages before me, enraptured in the story, regardless of the fact I had read it before. Bruce gingerly moved further into he room, shifting awkwardly on his feet as I finished the last of the words and drew my gaze away from the book and towards the physicist.

“I don’t mean to disturb you, I can come back later if you want.” He gestured to the book in my hands and smiled innocently. I was invariably surprised at how such a kind and gentle man could create such havoc and destruction with just a flick of a switch.

“No, no, come in.” I smiled, setting the book down on my lap and turning my attention back to Bruce. “It’s good to see you.”

“Yeah, likewise. I’m happy to see you’re up and looking surprisingly well.”

“I heal quickly, it’s an effect of my slow aging.” I informed him, only realising now how my bruises must have healed already.

“That’s good to hear. I’m sorry I didn’t get to visit you earlier, well I did, but you were unconscious.”

“It’s the thought that counts right?” I chuckled and Bruce smiled in return. “Don’t worry about it, I hear you’re quite the busy man over at Stark Tower.”

“It’s chaotic, to say the least. It’s good to finally remove myself from that environment and come here, I think if I stayed any longer I could have… well, you know.” Bruce looked away, looking slightly flustered with the idea of turning into the Hulk at work. “Tony sends his love, I was talking to him over the phone this morning, he said he should be back in a mater of days to see you.”

“I can’t wait.” I said in jest, and Bruce snickered in response.

“How are you doing?” He asked, changing the subject to a more serious matter.

“I’ve lost count of how many times people have asked me that.” I responded tiredly, pushing my head back into the pillows and taking a deep sigh.

“Sorry, I guess that’s a common thing to hear when you’re in your situation.” Bruce smiled apologetically.

“Forget about it, I suppose its just custom to ask that question. I’m doing alright, my bruises are healing quickly, and I’m not feeling as sick as I was yesterday.” I tried to remain positive, but I knew that I was in for a long stay at the hospital. “I didn’t know you visited me while I was unconscious.”

“Yeah, we all did. Even Pepper came down to see you, Clint barely ever left your bed side. The poor guy only left the room to get food or to go the bathroom.” Bruce laughed softly, and my heart lifted at the thought of them all coming to see me, even if I wasn’t awake or had been a complete bitch to them the past year. “Hell, even Loki was concerned for you, Nat.”

“Was he now?” I asked bitterly, my happiness at Bruce’s previous statement began to melt away at the mention of Loki’s name.

“I don’t get it either, maybe the sight of you so beaten up hit something within him, all I know is that he was shaking as he carried you into the hospital. Thor had to take you off of him in fear that he’d drop you because of it.”

“It must have been the effect of the teleportation they used.” I muttered uninterestedly.

“I guess so.” Bruce looked down with a creased brow, deep in thought.

We chatted for the rest of the hour, Bruce divulged information about his work with Tony at the tower, and we discussed each other’s lives over the past year. I made sure to apologise for my attitude, to which he merely shrugged off understandingly, saying,

“We all get a little tense sometimes.”

Bruce made note of my distaste towards the hospital foods, and promised to bring me something decent the next time he visited.

He left at sometime around eight O’clock when the nurses had to force him out due to the end of visiting hours. Bruce kissed me affectionately on the forehead and left with a gentle smile. Every time I was left alone I had the same feeling of helplessness. As my comrades went out into the world and worked the jobs that S.H.I.E.L.D. assigned them, I was restricted to a pale white room that might as well have had bars on the windows.

After finishing my book I was left with the TV once again, aimlessly flicking through the channels until I grew tired of staring at a screen and decided to go to sleep. It was relatively easy to fall to sleep, my mind was distracted from Loki, and instead of replaying our aberrant encounter, it replayed the story of the book I had read, and used this to create the dreams I had that night, giving me one of the best nights sleep I had had in a long while. I secretly thanked Loki for that.

* * *

As I awoke the next morning, my eyes adjusted to the brightness of the hospital room. A large pile of something sat on my nightstand, and I rubbed my eyes to focus of the queer accumulation of unknown objects. As my eyes became accustom to the sunlight, I discovered what he pile was made of. Beside my bed lay a stack of books, some were thin and paperback, others were large, chunky and hardback. I sat up in confusion, and picked up the closest one to me.

‘Tolstoy, Anna Karenina’

A small smile played on my lips as I discovered the heap of books consisted of only classic Russian literature. A small note place lightly beside it read:

“My dearest Natalia,

This is to cure you of your monotony.

May they provide you with the entertainment you so desire.

P.S. I would appreciate it if you did not throw these books as you did the last.”

 

The words were brilliantly written in an italic script, and I knew instantly who had provided me with the gift. I frowned at Loki’s new mode of trying to ‘court’ me, but I was undeniably grateful for the gesture, and my heart was fluttering with sentiment. I didn’t hesitate to begin reading, and I picked up Anna Karenina once again, my eyes instantaneously latching onto the words, already captivated in the story.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Sorry for the delay in updating! I've just been so busy with my course in London (It's so much fun though.) 
> 
> I've been waking up at six in the morning and coming home at seven absolutely exhausted, so apologies for the wait, I know I usually update sooner than a week.
> 
> But I hope you enjoyed it! It's a bit short, but then again the last ones were a bit short... That may change soon, The story is just getting started baby!
> 
> Thank you for the lovely reviews, I do love them so.
> 
> I should be updating around Friday next week? I'm not sure, maybe Saturday when I'm recovering from my course :L
> 
> Please review x


	5. Never Let Me Go

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Though happily entertained by the never ending supply of books on her bedside, Natasha is still apprehensive about Loki's new way of 'courting' her. Does he think that she'll forgive him that easily? And will she?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hello! So I apologise for the late update, my acting course finished yesterday and we all went out to the pub and got pretty trashed. And I've spent the day in a hungover daze so... But I told myself to update because I was pretty down about having to say goodbye to my friends from the course, many of whom are going back to New Zealand or America and what not... Any way, I hope you enjoy this chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it, and I should be updating more frequently from now on! x

The feel of the satin sheets feels so real as my hand strokes over the dark green material appreciatively, and I take in my new surroundings. No longer am I in my cold, sterile hospital room. Instead my eyes fall upon a large candlelit room, complete with a large marble hearth that crackles and blazes on the far side, giving it a gentle orange glow. I sit atop a brilliant canopy bed, with dark green drapes trimmed with golden materials, dressed in nothing but a black silk negligee. I gaze around the room, my heart swelling at the sight of the flames dancing and projecting swirls of lights onto the lavish walls.

"My darling," A warm silky voice begins from behind me, and soon I feel a warm breath on my neck followed by multitudes of soft kisses. "I am glad to find you awake."

My breath hitches as I feel the long slim fingers of the silver-tongued trickster wrap around my waist as his lips trail further up my neck and onto my jaw. I turn around, finding his face only mere inches away from my own. A smirk playing on his lips, and it stretches into a wicked grin as he notices my gaze fall to them, how I long to kiss them, to feel them on my own.

I watch as his tongue played on the back of his teeth as he laughs his signature sultry chuckle. His hands find my waist again, and he pulls me closer to him, crashing his lips to mine in a moment of pure passion and frenzy. His soft and slender fingers falling from my waist and exploring my thighs as he sucks and bites at my lips. I raise my hands to his neck, relishing in this beautiful moment that I know would surely end at any given moment. I bury my hands in his thick black locks, the feel of doing so elicits a flutter in my heart, the feeling is so vivid, so amazing and I never want it to end.

Together we fall down to the satin sheets, our bodies entwined into one, our lips only parting for loss of breath. I move on top of him, my fingers moving to unbutton his shirt and revealing his beautiful chest. I sink down to place kisses on his torso, trailing them down his abdomen and finally to the buckle of his pants. I could swear I hear a gasp escape his lips as my hands unfastened them, undressing him completely. I know I will wake up at any moment, but I don't want it to end. He's so beautiful, so perfect, and I need him.

I move back to his lips, pressing them together once again, he reaches his hands to my shoulders, hooking his finger under the strap on my negligee and letting it glide down my shoulder. He gives a devilish grin as the dress falls down to my waist, and his hands caress my bare chest. Then the feeling occurs, the sense of fear. As I watch his hands clasp my breasts with passion and hunger, I can only anticipate the moment when his hands will plunge into my chest and rip out my heart like it has done so many times before. I watch him warily, and he notices my apprehension.

"What is it Natalia?" His velvety voice laced with concern. He strokes his hand from my breast and up to my neck, pulling me down until our lips meet again. He sucks and licks my lips in a sweet and passionate kiss. His tongue taking advantage of the access to my open mouth, and he explores the warmth in a sensual osculation. I feel reassured, safe in his strong hands.

But sure enough, the feeling of his lips against mine begins to abate, and his soft groans of pleasure become distant, until I find myself back in the bright harshness of the hospital room.

* * *

Twelve days past by, and I had hardly even noticed it. They were usually spent in physiotherapy; I had found myself more or less able to walk without a crutch, thanks to my fast healing. When I wasn't in therapy I was usually in my room, reading. I would go through a book a day with all the free time I had. I kept the stack of books on my nightstand, and when I finished with one I simply placed it on the other side of my bed to differentiate which ones I had already read. When the pile would begin to thin out, I would wake the next morning to find another stack waiting beside my bed and the pile of books on the other side had been taken, each new bundle of books came with a new note, and each one had a different quote from a Shakespearian sonnet. I wasn't sure how pleased I was with the idea of Loki in my room while I slept, but I hadn't had the chance to question him on it. Since his last visit to my room, I hadn't seen him, except for when he appeared in my dreams, and again, I wasn't sure how pleased I was with this either. I wanted to thank him for the books; even if I couldn't trust him, I was grateful for the gifts.

I awoke from my vivid dream, and my eyes took a little less time to adjust to the brightness after the weeks spent there. My arm was no longer in a cast, instead my wrist was in a splint and it enabled me to move easier. I noticed the newly placed pile of books on my bedside and I reached for the inevitable note beside it.

"Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks  
Within his bending sickle's compass come:  
Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,  
But bears it out even to the edge of doom.

Loki."

 _'Corny bastard'_ I thought to myself, and I suppressed a small smirk at his mawkish style of courting.  _'What does he think this is? The nineteenth century?'_

But my heart fluttered at the memory of Shakespeare's Sonnet 116 falling from Loki's lips in a velvety smooth voice the day we kissed on my bed. It felt like decades had past since it had happened; yet the memory was still fresh in my mind. I could recall the way his slim fingers traced the pages of the tone, how he read the words as if he had been reading them his whole life. I stroked the paper on which the extract of the sonnet was written, over the elegant script. Loki's calligraphy was beautiful, but that was to be expected from a prince, even if he was no longer regarded as such.

I sighed heavily and placed the note back down on my nightstand, I gazed at the new books that Loki had bestowed upon me. Only books written by classic Russian writers, Tolstoy, Chekhov, Turgenev, Dostoyevsky, and the lot. I wondered how he had collected them, I highly doubted that he had just strolled down to the closest bookshop and picked out what suited his fancy. Surely S.H.I.E.L.D. would have him on high security?

I picked up a very slim book and inspected it closely,

"Chekhov, The Lady and The Dog."

I smirked at the extent Loki was going to please me with Russian Writers, he was sure to run out with the amount I was reading so fast. I nestled in to my bed and began reading. The story was short enough for me to read before the nurses came in with my breakfast.

_'Maybe Loki's mode of 'courting' me isn't such a bad thing.'_

* * *

I was halfway through my lunch when the familiar sound roused me from my thoughts. I peered towards my window, as that was where the sound emanated, and I was taken off guard by the sight of Starks Iron Man hovering outside my huge window. Tony's voice crackled through the intercom in my room to announce his arrival.

"Hey carrot top, miss me?"

I couldn't help the smirk that tugged at the corners of my lips at his flamboyant and ridiculous arrival. He raised a metal arm and motioned for me to open the window to let him in, and I responded by pointing at the two injured ankles that prevented me from doing so.

"C'mon! I flew all the way from New York just so I could make a grand entrance! Don't shut me out now, Nat." He jested through the intercom. I let out an audible sigh and moved the lunch tray to the side before sluggishly hoisting myself from my bed.

My ankles seemed sturdy, compared with how they had been a couple of day's prior, and I reluctantly thanked the Red Room for my fast healing. I slowly made my way to the window and raised my eyebrow at the metal man waiting midair outside. I pressed the button that opened the window and hobbled over to the couch by the side of it.

Tony sauntered in behind me, his helmet rising off his face to reveal a smug grin.

"What do you think?" He inquired, and he gestured towards his metal suit.

"Am I supposed to be impressed?" I smirked, resting my feet on the coffee table in front of me.

"I just got a new paint job! Just for you, so yeah, you should be impressed!" I suppressed a laugh, but I couldn't help the grin that grew across my lips at Tony's remark. I hadn't seen him in weeks. He'd been working in Miami and was then called in for a job someplace in Hawaii, though I'm sure it wasn't as much of a job for him as it was the opportunity for a vacation. "It's great to see you Nat! I would have come sooner, but you know, duty calls."

"Yeah, you must have been working really hard." I jeered sarcastically, looking the tanned billionaire up and down. "Long hours in the sun and all that, just look at your god-awful tan."

"OK so maybe I stayed a little longer than required of me, but I needed that vacation, what with all the work I've been doing in Miami." As he spoke the iron suit opened up and Tony stepped out, wearing his favourite AC/DC top and jeans. He made his way to the couch and flopped beside me tiredly. "It was horrible" he whined, sounding more like a petulant child than a genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist. "Pepper was away for a conference, people kept trying to hand me things."

"Wow." I murmured dispassionately. "Sounds horrible. Nothing like, say, I don't know, having your teeth pulled out by rusty pliers."

Tony's expression softened and he chuckled under his breath at my sarcasm. He patted my arm comfortingly and squeezed, which took me by surprise, as Stark and I never really went past playful banter together. I instantly regretted turning the conversation into such a dreary topic.

"I wouldn't have thought that was something you wanted to talk about."

"It's not." I answered quickly, hoping to steer the conversation elsewhere.

"But you're right, I shouldn't be talking about how shit my life has been lately, when you're probably bored out of your mind in this place." He turned to take a look at my room, showing obvious disgust at the food that lay beside my bed. "And you actually eat that hospital food?"

"It beats your cooking to say the least." I jested, glad to be turning to subject to a different matter. "Bruce has been bringing me so meals when he can."

"Ah, how is the Hulk?" Tony inquired. "I've been meaning to speak with him about Stark Industries for some time."

"Well, he was here this morning so he's probably working at the lab or something."

"Awesome." Tony leaped from the couch and slipped back into his iron man suit. "Hey there's a food court or something here isn't there?"

"Yeah, in the east wing of the base, why?" I questioned, looking up as the metal mask covered Tony's face.

"I'll see you later for dinner." He replied, and before I could protest to his assumption that I wanted to leave my room, he flew out the huge window and out of sight.

* * *

It was the first time in three weeks that I was wearing something other than sweatpants and a loose fitting top. Granted, it took me a while to dress myself, but it felt good to be wearing something normal. I was dressed in a pair of jeans, a red vest and my brown leather jacket. I tried my best to put on some makeup, but my wrist splint restricted my abilities to do so, so I made do with some mascara and blush before heading to the dining hall.

I hobbled down the halls, averting the gaze of the passers by. Never had I felt so weak in my life, sure I had had injuries in the past, but the mere fact that I had been asked twice if I needed assistance or a wheelchair and someone to push me made my blood boil. I finally gave up halfway when my ankle began to hurt, and I took a crutch in my good hand, despite my pride.

I finally made my way to the dining hall, after some time, and found Bruce, Tony and Maria Hill waiting for me at a table.

"Jeez Nat, did you walk the way here?" Tony questioned with an incredulous look on his face and getting up to pull out a chair for me at the head of the table. "You do know that they have nurses who can  _help_  you?"

"You sound like Clint." I responded as I sat down in my seat. "Besides, you asked me to come here, I would have been happy eating in my room."

"We miss having dinner with you, you know, like the old days, back at the mansion." Bruce contributed, pouring me a glass of water.

We chatted for a while, Maria enlightened us with some of the information they gathered on some big cases, likely to be requiring one of the Avengers to look into, and Tony divulged his vacation in Hawaii until all three of my tablemates stiffened at the sight of something behind me. I turned to see what had captivated their attentions, and found Thor and Loki entering the hall. They weren't wearing their Asgardian garments, but instead they wore casual 'Midgardian' clothing, probably provided by S.H.I.E.L.D.

"Hey, Rapunzel!" Tony called over the chatter in the hall to Thor and motioned for him to come over. "Sit with us."

"Are we sure we want Loki sitting with us?" Bruce inquired, turning back to Tony.

"We wanted dinner to be like old times, didn't we?" Tony raised his eyebrows innocently. The whole situation felt like a bad teen/high school movie. "Besides, the guy helped save Natasha, the least we could do is let him sit with us."

Thor meandered around the tables of other S.H.I.E.L.D. agents and found his way to ours, followed closely by Loki of course, who I hadn't seen since he made his proclamations of 'love' to me twelve days prior.

"My friends! It is good to see you again." Thor bellowed joyously, and he patted my shoulder as a greeting before taking a seat beside Bruce.

"Don't be shy Reindeer Games," Tony smiled condescendingly as he looked up at the trickster standing awkwardly beside the table, and he patted the chair beside himself for him to sit. "We don't bite."

I stifled a laugh at Tony's patronization, but I let a smirk play on my lips as Loki sat down cautiously.

"Miss Romanoff, it is good to see you out of bed, I hear you are able to walk now, is that right?" Thor inquired from the other end of the table as he helped himself to some of the food before him. I nodded in reply, and before I could add anything the thunder god spoke up once more. "That is wonderful news, is it not brother?"

"Yes, it is indeed." Loki responded, giving me a gentle smile before returning back to his stoic demeanour. "Your healing abilities are quite extraordinary for a Midgardian."

"Thank you." I muttered, turning my gaze away from his fantastically green eyes. I half expected to feel his hand slip up my thigh the way it used to at dinner, and I almost felt disappointed when it didn't.

"Mr Stark, it is good to see you also." Thor spoke, still scooping spoonfuls of potato salad onto his plate. "You have been away on business have you not?"

"Oh god, don't get him started on that story again." Bruce laughed.

Tony set to work explaining his experience in Hawaii and retelling the story of how horrible work was in Miami, though, Thor was completely captivated and marvelled at the idea of drinking beverages from a coconut shell.

"And then I flew down here to surprise Nat in her room, how she's survived these past few weeks without my company is beyond me." Tony added sarcastically, and I responded with a sardonic smile before taking a sip of my water.

"I wouldn't say she's been deprived of entertainment." Bruce interjected with a smirk. "Haven't you got a great big stack of books next to your bed? That's sure to keep you occupied."

I tensed at the mention of the books; I never thought to come up with an explanation to their appearance. I heard a small chuckle from Loki's direction, and I noticed Thor fight a smile as well.

_'Is that how Loki's been getting the books? Has Thor been buying them for him?'_

"The nurses got them for me." I stated, eliciting confused glances from my tablemates, and I realised no one had actually inquired as to where they came from. "I think I probably would have died of boredom otherwise." Another chuckle came from Loki's direction and I internally berated myself for thanking him without realising.

A little while later I excused myself from the table so to return to my room, causing my tablemates to rise and offer to assist me in walking there, even Loki got up, though he didn't offer to help me, probably knowing how odd that would seem to the rest of the table.

I made my way back alone, my pride getting the better of me and causing me to deny any form of help. I nestled into my bed, not bothering to change out of my jeans. I was far too exhausted. I picked up a new book and began reading, I read about six chapters before my eyelids began to droop and I was too tired to take in the words on the page. I set the book down and fell fast asleep.

* * *

4:39 AM

I was wide-awake. It didn't help that the rising sun shone through my window and bounced of the brightly covered walls of my room. I rubbed my eyes lethargically and took in the bright white room. Any attempt to sleep now would be futile, so I rose from my bed and limped to the small table in the corner of my room where a water filter and some paper cups where placed, and I poured myself a drink. As I sipped the water I gazed out my window, admiring the sight of the early morning sunrise and the small birds that flew from some of the trees and landed in the courtyard below. That's when I noticed him.

Sitting on a wooden bench in front of the fountain that centred the courtyard was Loki. He sat alone, reading, and I was reminded of how he used to wake at irregular times and sit in his armchair in the sitting room of the mansion, completely captivated in one of the books I would lend him. I tried to push the idea of going to join him out of my mind, but there was a feeling in the pit of my stomach that told me to go and join him. Before the dinner the evening before, I hadn't seen him in just less than two weeks, and I had to admit I missed his company. Even if it had just been a ploy to entertain himself for the time he spent at the mansion, the time I spent with him had mad me the happiest I had been in a while, though I hated to admit it. I gave into my temptations and left my room to go see him. Cursing myself as I went.

"Just like old times." He smirked, looking up from his book as he watched me cross the courtyard towards him. "Sit." He motioned to the seat beside him, and I reluctantly took it, placing myself as far from him as possible.

"What are you doing out here?" I asked, trying to hide the curiosity in my voice.

"I like the view." He murmured, looking out at the fountain in front of us. "It's reminiscent of the park we used to visit."

I tried to ignore the fond memory that sprung to mind, and I looked away from the fountain in order to suppress it. The book in Loki's hands caught my eye.

"War and Peace." I whispered to myself, it had been one of the books he had gifted to me and I had finished it only a few days before. Loki smirked as he noticed me eyeing the tome.

"Well, where do you think they go after you have read them?" He chuckled and flipped the pages beneath his fingers playfully.

"So it was you." I muttered under my breath.

"You actually had doubts?" Loki questioned with an incredulous expression.

"Forgive me if I couldn't believe you to be so thoughtful." I quipped, instantly regretting using the word thoughtful.

"How kind." He jested, his smirk growing into his familiar sexy grin, and my heart raced at the sight.

"How did you manage to persuade Thor to buy them all?" I questioned, the curiosity slipping through my voice.

"Ehehe, you picked up on that did you? You are so clever, my love." He licked his lips before stretching his mouth back into a grin. "I simply told him that a decent amount of reading material would be just about the only thing to keep me sane on this dreary realm, and I was  _very_  specific about the Russian element to the books."

"You're very good at manipulating people, at wrapping then around your finger." I observed, regaining my stoic composure.

"With everyone but you it seems." He noted, cautiously moving closer to me, and I stiffened at the proximity. "Oh no, but you have me wrapped around you little finger, my dear, trapped in your web, my little spider," He was dangerously close, his eyes boring into mine and causing my heart to flutter and race all at once. "Natalia." He breathed. I could smell his familiar scent, and memories of the hours I spent beside him in bed flashed back into my mind. His emerald eyes flickered down to my lips and before I could register what was happening, he pressed his against mine, locking lips in a passionate frenzy.

Without thinking, my hands found their way to his hair, running my fingers though his raven locks. He clasped one hand on the back of my neck, drawing me closer. My whole body ached for him, how I had missed the intimacy, the passion and the sweet groans that each kiss elicited. But it wasn't long until I came back to my senses, realising what I was doing and who with, despite my feelings, I knew I couldn't trust him, I was falling back into his trap all over again. I managed to push myself away from him, causing him to pout sullenly.

"I knew you couldn't resist me." He whispered smugly as a smirk danced on his lips.

"Fuck off." I snapped, and I pushed myself off the bench to stand. My head still hazy from the kiss, it took a while to realise why I stood up in the first place.

"Natalia, please. Can you not perceive that I tell the truth? I love you, and I know you feel the same way, you just proved it to me." He beseeched, rising from the bench to stand beside me. "Can you not see that I tell the truth?"

"It's a little hard to know what's the truth and what's not when I'm dealing with the god of lies." I responded sharply, crossing my arms to hide the fact that my chest was rising and falling rapidly with the loss of breath the kiss had caused.

"Natalia." He whispered my name again and grasped my hand. There was something undeniably real about it all, even if he was a trickster, I couldn't help but feel that he was being truthful, why else would he admit to loving me if not to tell the truth? And the way he whispered my name, there was something about it that made my knees weak. So weak that I actually lost balance and tried to catch myself on my bad ankle, only worsening the case and I fell forward into Loki. He caught me in his arms, and I found myself clutching to his shoulders for balance. "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine." I whispered, steadying myself back onto my feet, but still clutching onto his shoulders. I looked up, and found his jade coloured eyes gazing anxiously into mine.

I held his gaze for a moment, resisting the urge to peer down to his lips until I could bear it no longer and I yielded, my eyes flickered down at his lips and just as quickly returned to his eyes. But I didn't miss the smirk that formed at my gaze, his eyes crinkled in the corners as his lips stretched into a grin. I became more aware of the fact that Loki's hands were still rested on my hips and mine were still grasping his shoulders. I reached forward impulsively and lightly pressed my lips to his, the feeling of doing so ignited a flame in my stomach, and I wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling him closer. Loki complied and wrapped his arms around me, frantically crashing his lips down onto mine hungrily.

A year, twelve months, that was how long it had been since I felt the softness of his lips against mine, since I felt his slender fingers explore my back as I ran my hands though his raven locks. It had been  _far_ too long. In the moment, I didn't care if it was just a game to him, I didn't care if it would only be short lived, I wanted him, only him.

"Natalia." He breathed, his warm breath on my neck sent an involuntary shiver down my spine. "I love you." He whispered, pulling away and gazing earnestly into my eyes.

"I believe you." I responded, there wasn't a part of me that doubted him, not a part of me that felt wary towards him. "I love you."

The look on Loki's face was something I never wish to forget, pure astonishment. He looked down into my eyes as a smile crept its way up his lips.

"You love me?" He breathed, his tone seemingly relieved.

"I always have, it's just taken me a while to admit it." I replied, smiling as I noticed the sheer happiness that spread over Loki's features. "It was never a job, Loki. I only said that to hurt you, and I'm sorry."

"Don't be." He whispered, and he trailed his hand over my cheek and brushed his thumb over my lips. "Let us not dwell on the past, I am only happy to have you back in my arms."

He pressed his lips against mine once again, and the soft sensation of his lips sent sparks though my whole body. I never wanted to leave his arms. I never wanted to be apart from him ever again. I leaned into his body, my hands exploring his wavy locks as he trailed his lips along my jaw.

"I love you." I moaned breathily. "I love you."

"I think that I shall never grow tired of hearing you say that." He chuckled, his lips drawing closer to mine until they grazed over each other. His eyes turned serious as he dropped his contented smile. "Is this a dream?"

"If it is, I never want it to end." I smirked, and I glided my fingers through his hair again. "But I think that this is very much a reality."

"Far better." He smirked, and he pressed his lips down onto mine again, and I clung to him desperately, as if he were a source of air and I was suffocating.

The early morning sunlight draped him in golden rays, and I couldn't help but part our lips to take in his beauty. It felt like a dream, but this time I knew that it wasn't.

"I think it's time to go inside." I murmured, resting my head on his chest tiredly. "S.H.I.E.L.D. agents are going to be up and working pretty soon."

"Of course." He whispered softly, and he rested his chin on top of my head.

Before I knew it, a blue light, much like the one that had enveloped Loki and Thor when they left earth for Asgard following the Chitauri invasion, surrounded us. When the light dissipated I found myself back in my hospital room, still in Loki's arms.

"I almost forgot you have your powers back." I smirked up at Loki's mischievous grin, and a sense of excitement flowed through me at the thought.

"I shouldn't use them too much, or S.H.I.E.L.D. will think that I am a hazard." He stated bitterly. "But I couldn't deny you a first hand experience o my powers."

"In other words, you wanted to show off?" I laughed, and Loki smiled bashfully at my observation.

"You look tired." He remarked, a slight look of worry overcame his features. "Here, let's get you to bed."

Loki quickly picked me up in his arms, he seemed to do so with great ease, and carried me to my bed.

"Loki, I'm not a child. I can walk you know." I chuckled as he lay me down on my mattress and covered me in my sheets.

"I'm being romantic." He smirked, and he leaned down to place a gentle kiss on my forehead. "And besides, I couldn't risk you hurting your ankles anymore now could I?"

I grabbed the collar of his shirt and pulled him down for another kiss. "Stay." I moaned as our lips parted for a moment.

"I wish I could, my spider. But I must be in my room before Thor comes to wake me up, and I do not wish for you to get into any trouble." He sighed as he pulled away, taking a seat on the bed. "I will come back this afternoon if you would like."

"I would love that." I grinned up at him. I couldn't contain the happiness I felt at being near him again.

"Farewell, my little spider." He whispered before he placed another kiss on my lips and disappeared from sight.

It was nearing six O'clock, and I felt the drowsiness come over me, but I couldn't fall back to sleep. Not with the thoughts of the past hour racing through my mind. I was elated with the memory of his words.

_'I love you'_

I couldn't contain the grin that stretched across my lips as I recalled the way he had carried me to my bed like something out of a fairytale. I was grinning like a little schoolgirl that just got kissed by the guy she liked, well that was partially true. I trusted him, and that was all that mattered. After what he did the year before I though I could never put my faith in someone again, but there was something about him, I loved him too much to distrust him. Part of me just knew that he told the truth, and I was happy to follow that feeling, wherever it would lead me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please review x


	6. When I Lay Beside You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As news of Natasha's capturers reaches the SHIELD base, her safety there is compromised. But will leaving jeopardise her newfound trust in Loki?

11:24 AM.

I stretched out my body as I lay on my hospital bed. I froze for a moment, expecting to feel the pain of my injuries as I had stretched without thinking of them, yet no pain arose. I frowned in confusion and looked at my wrist, moving my hand back and forth to test for ache. Nothing. This was one of the rare times in my life when I was slightly thankful for the serum the Red Room had injected me with. I sat up in my bed and went to reach for a book, when I saw him.

Loki lay on the couch by the window, his long, slender body draped over the cushioned seats, and the late morning sunlight filtered through the blinds and engulfed him in a sweeping of warm light. He gazed up at the ceiling, seemingly engrossed in his own thoughts. His presence confirmed what I thought had been a dream, and my heart fluttered as I recalled our kisses in the courtyard. The man I loved was back in my arms and I trusted him fully, nothing could make me feel more jubilant, more appeased than I did as I watched him lying there. I reached for an apple that was set beside my bed, next to a bottle of water and a book, and threw it in his direction. The apple landed directly on his chest and jolted him out of his daydream.

"Didn't you sleep in your own room?" I asked teasingly. He sat up from the couch and set the apple on the coffee table in front of him. His lips twitched in the corners and my heart fluttered wildly at the sight of his smile.

"I did." He declared, picking the apple up and again and studying the shiny red and green skin of the fruit. "But I came here an hour ago to see if you had woken." He raised his eyes to meet my gaze, and with another smirk he took a bite out of the apple in his hand.

"That was my breakfast." I pouted in mock irritation. Loki rose from his seat and took long slow steps towards my bed.

"It's almost lunch." He smirked, taking a seat on the side of my bed. "And besides, if you really wanted it, you shouldn't have thrown it at me." He took another bite and leaned closer towards me. I could hear the crunch that each bite elicited, and I noticed the juice that slicked his lips.

"At least it got your attention." I smiled. I pulled on the collar of his green shirt and lowered his lips to meet mine. I licked the juice off of his soft lips and pressed them against mine, he tasted delicious. I felt the thump of the apple dropping on my lap as he allowed his fingers to trail my body. His slender hands slowly exploring my frame, gently and softly stroking over my skin before letting his passion and need take control, and delving one hand in my hair and clutching my waist with the other.

"Oh how I have missed you, Natalia." He whispered against my neck as he trailed his kisses along my jaw line.

"Shh, don't think about it." I replied, stroking my hands through his ebony locks, there wasn't as much as there used to be, much to my disappointment. I pushed him away so to get a good look at him. I hadn't properly observed him yet, as I had been trying to avoid eye contact with him as much as possible. His piercingly green eyes still glistened like emeralds; his cheekbones still razor sharp, only his complexion was changed. He looked healthier, compared with the ghastly achromatic faced man I had witnessed enter the Avengers Mansion a year ago, no, he looked well, more potent. "You look so much healthier." I thought aloud, and Loki smiled and tucked a few strands of hair behind my ear.

"They do feed me in Asgard you know." He smirked and leaned his head closer to mine so that our noses grazed.

"I just thought…"

"That I'd be back in a cell for another year?" He chuckled to himself and nuzzled closer. I closed my eyes and let my breathing fall in time with his. "No, my time in Manhattan was the last of my punishment, well, that and being separated from you of course,  _that_  was the worst punishment of all."

He let out a sigh and pressed his lips onto mine again, this time softly and lightly before pulling away.

"You cut your hair." I observed, attempting to pull Loki out of his bitter memories. He chuckled and pulled away again so that I could see the wide grin on his face.

"My dear, for someone who is renowned for being nimble minded, you took an awful long time to notice such an obvious change in my appearance." He laughed, his green eyes catching the sunlight and shining like gems.

"I noticed it before." I declared, lightly thumping him in the arm playfully. "I just chose now to ask why you cut it."

"Do you not like it?" He inquired, running his fingers through the black strands.

"Of course I like it, I love it." I smiled. His self-consciousness was amusing. "There's just less for me to play with."

"Ehehe, I apologise, for I do know how you loved it before." He grinned and took my hands in his. "I cut it because it reminded me too much of Manhattan. My hair grew whilst I was left to wonder around the wastelands of space until I met The Other. When I returned to Asgard I was given the opportunity to cut it, seeing as my prison sentence was finished, in my own way it was an attempt to start over… I wanted to forget you." He whispered the last sentence so regretfully, and I squeezed his hand o tell him it was ok.

"You look beautiful." I breathed, and I moved my hand to run through his hair again before kissing him gently.

There was a large growling sound, and I pulled away with a chuckle and looked at my stomach.

"I think you're hungry." He smirked. He waved his hand in an elegant gesture and suddenly a tray of food appeared before me.

Loki pulled a chair beside my bed and took a seat, grinning ear to ear as I scrutinised the breakfast he had laid out for me. A bowl of strawberries, raspberries, blueberries and squares of other fruit was the first thing that caught my eye, there was a large mug of coffee, a glass of orange juice and a plate of waffles to put the fruit on, complete with syrup and yoghurt.

"I could get used to this." I smiled and popped a raspberry in my mouth.

Loki smiled proudly and opened his mouth to speak but a knock at the door froze him before he could utter a word. Clint shuffled into the room holding two cups of coffee, he too froze the moment his eyes settled on Loki sitting by my bedside.

"Everything ok here?" He inquired, looking from Loki to me perplexedly.

"Everything's fine Clint." I smiled, disguising my worry for what he must have been thinking. "It's great to see you again, how was your mission?"

"Exquisite." He murmured stoically in response, seemingly thrown off by how I brushed off the tension that filled the room so easily. He kept his gaze on Loki who still faced me, clenching his jaw. After a few seconds of thought, Clint pulled his attention back to me, twisting his expression into a smile that didn't quite reach his eyes. He took a step towards the side of my bed, opposite Loki. "I hear you've gotten better, I must admit I'm a little disappointed to have missed your first steps, Nat."

"I feel better, I can barely feel any pain in my injuries anymore." I revealed with a weak smile. From the corner of my eye I noticed Loki's lips form a smile, and I was reminded of how I hadn't told him of my recovery.

"Glad to hear it." Clint chuckled softly, taking a look down on the breakfast in front of me. "I bought some coffee, but it seems I'm a little late."

"Thank you. But Loki already brought me some with breakfast." Loki gave me a knowing look from where he sat and a smirk twitched in the corners of his lips.

"Right… Well I better go, I guess Bruce might like the coffee, so…" Clint trailed off awkwardly and turned to leave.

"Don't go." I protested. "I just got you back, I want to hear all about Washington."

"I'll go." Loki spoke as he rose from his seat. He gave me a quick smile before regaining his stoic composure and turning to face Clint. "A pleasure to see you again, Barton."

Clint stiffened at Loki's obvious sarcasm, his hands clenching the coffee cups tightly to keep him from hitting the towering god. "The pleasure was all mine." He muttered through gritted teeth.

I noticed Loki's lips twitching in amusement before he turned to withdraw from the room, leaving Clint and I alone in silence.

Clint gazed after the trickster for a good while, calming himself down before speaking. Finally he turned to me, a look of concern painted on his face.

"What the hell was that all about?" He asked, his voice shaking with the confusion.

I hesitated before replying, thinking through possible things to say. I wondered whether I should tell him of my kiss with Loki, or the fact that I still loved him.

"Loki brought me breakfast." I replied, forcing a smile.

"Nat, did he hurt you?" He inquired worriedly. He glanced down at the tray of food on my lap as if it were poison.

"Clint…"

"I'll kill him." Clint interjected, already assuming that Loki was on some vengeful mission to hurt me. "I'll kill him if he lays a finger on you again."

"It's not like that Clint." I tried to reassure him, but he merely narrowed his eyes, knowing full well that there was something I was holding back. "Loki was perfectly civil. He just wants to be on good terms seeing as we both hold important information on one another." It wasn't exactly a lie, but couldn't allow myself to tell him the whole truth.

"And you would trust him enough to eat the food he makes you? If you have important information on him he'll kill you so not to let it get out." Clint took a seat beside my bed, he gazed at me with scepticism, not understanding how or why I trusted Loki so much.

I popped another berry in my mouth, keeping my eyes locked with Clint's. "I'm alive aren't I?"

Clint sighed and placed the coffee cups on my bedside table. He wiped a hand over his face as if to wipe away the frustration. "Don't keep secrets from me Nat. If he threatens you… tell me, all I want to do is help."

"I get that." I murmured, I felt so terrible for keeping secrets from him, but I knew that knowledge of my feelings for Loki would only cause him ire. "I promise to tell you."

"Good." He smiled. It was a welcome change from his exasperated façade. "Now if it's not poisoned, I could go for some of those waffles."

We talked for hours, catching up on what had happened in the last two weeks. Clint told me of his mission in Washington and I filled him in on my progress in physical therapy. When he asked me how I acquired so many books I managed to give a brief and vague answer before turning the subject to something less Loki based.

* * *

It was two o'clock when I realised I was still in my nightgown. Clint dismissed himself with a smile and left me alone so that I could get dressed. Getting out of bed was easy, easier than it had been in a while. My ankles felt as if nothing had happened to them whatsoever, despite an occasional twinge if I moved too quickly. I grinned as I slid on my jeans, I was hopeful that I could get back into working for SHIELD faster than I had previously expected. And then there was Loki. He was definitely something to be grinning about. I felt like a schoolgirl in one of those teen romance films, where she can't wait to see her love interest again. Just the thought of being in his arms, next to his chest, it was enough to make me grin like an idiot. When I was fully dressed I made my way down to the common room of the base, where some of the main agents, Agent Hill, Fury and the Avengers, would congregate and relax.

"Agent Romanoff, it's good to see you on your feet." Fury commented as I entered the room. He was the first to notice my arrival, and the tilting of heads in my direction followed his words. "Do you need a crutch?"

"No, I'm ok, thanks." I replied, giving a small smile in greeting to Maria Hill as she walked past me. "I was wondering if we could talk."

"I was wondering the same thing." He stated, his friendly demeanour suddenly turning expressionless, which usually meant business.

We took two armchairs in the corner of the room, away from the chatter of agents. Fury handed me a small cup of coffee and waved his had in my direction to gesture for me to begin whatever it was I wanted to speak to him about.

"I was wondering when I could be released from the hospital wing." I kept my voice steady, disguising the desperation behind my words. For weeks I had felt like a prisoner to gangs of nurses. I wanted out. "I have been under 'medical observation' for longer than necessary, and I would like to return to the mansion."

Fury took a long sigh and rubbed his eyes with his thumb and index finger before glancing back at me. "I think that's a good idea." He spoke so softly, I almost didn't recognise it to be his voice. "This brings me to the topic of what I wished to speak with you about. We've been looking into your capturers, and only recently have we found a lead. It's possible that you being at a SHIELD base would compromise your safety."

"What do you mean? SHIELD bases are full of agents, and super-humans, not that I want to stay here, but why wouldn't I be safe if I did?" I asked curiously, wondering what it was about my capturers that they discovered.

"SHIELD has a lot of enemies, that you know. Those who interrogated you for information regarding us may be some of our strongest adversary. We want to get you somewhere away from their target. They may think that you've seen their faces, and that could fault any undercover missions on their part, so they would have you dead in an instant, and there are plenty of them who would volunteer to be the assassin. If you're out of the way, that would give me peace of mind."

"But I could help." I countered. I suddenly felt very overlooked, I was fine, and I was healed. I hated the thought of having to be 'Out of the way.' "You said yourself, I'm one of the top agents. In the event of a breech of security, you would need me."

"I know that." Fury stated calmly, he ripped a paper sachet of sugar and poured into his cup of coffee and stirred it as he spoke in a hushed tone. "For now we will be sending you back to the mansion, we'll give you some time to gather yourself before we call you back in for work." I sighed heavily and reluctantly complied with Fury's demands.

 _'At least I wont be stuck with hospital food'_  I thought to myself, and I began to look forward to the dinners that Bruce would prepare.

* * *

I entered the cafeteria with my head held high. I inwardly smirked at the heads turning to marvel at my complete recovery, and I let a small smile play on my lips as a thank you for the congratulatory cheers that followed me as I made my way to a table. I spotted Tony, Bruce and Steve all sitting together in the centre of the room and I made a beeline for them.

"Natasha!" Bruce grinned as he sat up to pull out a chair. "You look amazing." Bruce's comment was followed by murmurs of agreement from Tony and Steve.

"I'm wearing jeans Bruce," I smirked, and I took the seat he had pulled out, "you make it sound like I'm in a cocktail dress."

"I meant that you looked healthy." Bruce chuckled and sat back down. "It's as if nothing ever happened."

_'If only.'_

"I hope you've kept the mansion tidy, I don't want to return to a mess." I smirked, changing the subject. Slowly their eyes began to widen with realisation.

"You're coming back to the mansion?" Tony inquired incredulously.

"SHIELD is discharging me later today, and I'm to go back to the mansion while I'm not on a job." I smiled at the reactions of my friends, each one of them sported a large grin at the prospect of my return.

"It's gonna be just like old times!" Tony cheered. He was grinning widely and brought his hands together with a loud clap. "How are we gonna celebrate?"

"I'm happy with anything, just as long as you don't make anymore of those bright green drinks you made last time." Steve grimaced at the memory of when Tony invited us to Stark Tower and made us drink some acidic looking alcohol, which he called a Starkini or something.

Their friendly banter was cut short before Tony could reply, each of their faces fell as they watched Thor enter with Loki trailing miserably by his side. Loki's face lightened slightly as his eyes fell on me, and I could see how he was fighting the urge to crack a smile, as was I.

"Here we go again." Tony mumbled before twisting his scowl into a fake smile. "Hey blondie, reindeer games! Over here."

"Metal Man, I would greatly appreciate it if you could refrain from calling me such things." Thor stated light heartedly as he took a seat beside Steve.

"Only when you quit calling me Metal Man." Tony retorted with a grin. "Actually I quite like it as a nickname, keep it."

Loki slyly took the seat beside me without anyone batting an eyelash. I smirked as he did so, disguising my amusement to be from the conversation between Thor and Tony about what Thor would prefer to be called.

Steve managed to lead the group into a conversation about something I wasn't paying attention to, I was too distracted by the cool and slender hand working its way up my thigh. I moved my hand to move it away before anyone would notice, but instead I entwined our fingers affectionately. I had missed such contact. I had missed the secretive touches beneath the dinner table back at the mansion. The joy that flooded over me from just one single touch from his hands was overwhelming, and I longed for more. The man that I loved was back within my reach and it felt absolutely amazing.

"-Nat's gonna be there." I snapped back from my thoughts as I heard Bruce say my name, and I realised I had completely zoned out from the conversation by my thoughts of Loki.

"What?" I frowned in confusion and looked around at the men who gazed at me expectantly.

"I was just saying to Thor how you're going to be back at the mansion." Bruce replied, and he chuckled at my disengagement.

"Oh… right, yeah." I murmured, distracted by the way Loki's grasp on my hand had weakened at Bruce's words. I felt a pang of guilt as I realised that leaving for the Avengers Mansion would mean leaving him. I squeezed his hand in the hopes of eliciting a response form him, but his fingers lay between mine limply and unresponsive. I hated it. "Which reminds me, I should probably go pack some of my stuff."

Loki's hand slipped away as the words tumbled from my mouth uncontrollably, and I felt a pain in my heart from the loss of his touch. Without thinking I rose from my seat, nodding a goodbye to my comrades before I turned to leave. I berated myself inwardly for not choosing my words more carefully, or at least staying beside Loki to show him that I wasn't abandoning him. I only just got him back, and now I was leaving him again.

* * *

I found myself in my room, not having paid attention to the route I took. Instead I was immersed in my thoughts. Loki's feeble grasp on my hand taunted me to no end. The thought of his disappointment, possible anger at my leaving pained my heart, and I felt horrible for not having thought about the consequences of asking to leave the hospital wing. I had only wanted to move to an apartment on the base, where I could still work, but not have to have my meals delivered to me or to be tended to everyday.

"You're leaving." His silky voice stopped me in my tracks, and I turned from where I faced my bed to see Loki standing by the window, gazing out onto the courtyard.

"How did you get here so fast?" I inquired, though I already somewhat knew the answer already.

"A simple projection spell. Thor will not know that I have gone, but I cannot stay here for long." Loki turned to face me, his face like stone. But there was a glimmer of sadness in his emerald eyes. "Why do you choose to leave, Natalia? Is it because of earlier this morning?"

"Of course not." I stated, my voice quivered slightly with disbelief that Loki could think such things. "If anything that's what makes me want to stay."

"Then why must you go?" Loki's stony façade faltered and he took a long step toward me. He stopped when his face was mere inches away from mine, and his green eyes gazed down at me. "Natalia, I cannot lose you again."

His words made me feel weak at the knees, and I longed to wrap my arms around him and kiss him until my lips were raw, just so I could show him that I didn't regret one single moment of the kisses we shared earlier that morning. "SHIELD is sending me there." I muttered spitefully, though my disdain was directed towards the agency and not him. "They say my safety may be compromised here, and they're sending me to The Avengers Mansion to keep me safe."

"I can keep you safe." He whispered softly. Loki's thumb brushed over my jaw and down to my chin, and he used his index finger underneath my jaw to lift my face up so that our lips met. He held the kiss for no more than three seconds before he drew away.

"No offense, but I don't think that would exactly fly with Fury." I breathed against his lips with a smirk and gazed into his glistening pools of green. "But thank you."

Loki let out a defeated sigh and pulled away from my lips. He took a few steps back, his eyes still fixed on me. "You leave today?"

"Yes."

"How long do we have?" He asked, it was as if he was asking how long we had left on the planet together.

"A few hours yet," I could tell what was going through his mind, and I suppressed a grin at the thought. "Fury's going to tell me when my car is here to take me to Manhattan."

Loki looked pensive for a moment, his brows furrowed before he took a breath to speak. "Ms Romanoff, it seems that I am having quite some trouble with the television set in my room. I was wondering if you could stop by to help me fix it." I frowned in confusion for a moment, wondering when Loki acquired a liking for television. But I quickly grasped his meaning, and I let a coy smirk play on my lips in response.

"Why, Loki, I'm quite sure I can help you with that." I replied, giving my voice a hint of lustfulness to which Loki responded with a devilish grin. He was gone with a flourish of his slender hand, and I was left with the excitement that pooled in my stomach.

I quickly rushed to my on suite bathroom to fix my appearance. Not that it mattered, but the excitement of what was to come was enough to make me act like a love-crazed teen.

* * *

I had practically zoomed to Loki's rooms, rushing down the corridors as if I was on a serious mission, yet the only thought on my mind was how much I had missed his touch.

I had to keep myself from banging on his door incessantly from the sheer eagerness that overcame me. Instead I stood in front of his door, took a deep breath and knocked steadily on the brown varnished wood. I could hear the footsteps of the trickster grow louder as he drew nearer to the door, and I quickly regained a stoic façade in order to play along with his game.

The door swung open to reveal Loki in his Midgardian attire, a deep green shirt and black jeans. My eyes drifted over the taut fitted shirt appreciatively before I snapped back into my character. His lips twitched into a smug smirk and he narrowed his eyes at me, it was reminiscent of our conversation when he was locked in the glass prison on the helicarrier and the memory of his icy glare was enough to send a shiver over my whole body.

"Agent Romanoff." He nodded, his stone cold glare never ceasing for a moment. He never failed to impress me with his skills in lying and I began to wonder if it wasn't a game after all, and that this was how he really felt towards me. I inwardly chastised myself for thinking so, I wanted to trust him fully, but I couldn't terminate the incessant conflict in my mind. Loki seemed to sense my discomfort and softened his features. "Won't you please come in?"

"Just show me what you need fixing." I replied without emotion, and I didn't miss the twitch of his lips at my playing along. He opened the door wider to allow me pass into his rooms, and I stepped in cautiously.

I stepped into what seemed to be a small parlour, with potted plants decorating each corner. The walls were lined with bookcases that flooded with large hard cover tones, and in the middle of the room were two small couches with a small coffee table in between. There were two more doorways that lead to different rooms, from what I could see, one lead to a bathroom and the other to the bedroom. I gazed around the area in awe, mostly because I was surprised to see that Loki had a nicer room that I did.

"SHIELD's reward for saving the life of their best agent." Loki informed me as he shut the door behind him, picking up on the surprise that washed over my features.

"You don't have a TV." I smirked, stepping towards him slowly. I relished in the fact that we were alone, and stepped closer to him.

"I may have lied about that." He grinned. His eyes crinkled with the smile and my heart fluttered to see those minor details on his face once more. "We'll just have to entertain ourselves, my spider."

He wrapped his arms around my waist and drew me closer so that our chests made contact. I could feel his heart facing against mine, and I couldn't help the grin that overcame my features. I let my arms slide around his neck, and I pulled his lips to mine into a deep, sensuous kiss. His slender fingers explored my frame as my hands made play with his black curls. I felt him grin with satisfaction as his lips hovered over my lips, but I didn't open my eyes, I just waited for our lips to meet again, and when they did I let out an involuntary groan of pleasure. Loki reached for one of my hands and pulled away from the kiss so he could lead me into what I supposed to be his bedroom.

His bed was neatly made, and draped in dark blue satin sheets and decorated with masses of duck feather pillows. "We won't be needing these." He muttered under his breath quickly as he tossed a few pillows to the side and onto the floor in order to make space. He threw them from the bed so quickly, in a frenzy to get started. But as he turned to face me, as I stood in the doorway observing him, his face softened from a desperate expression to one that looked relieved, relieved to see that I was still there. "I have dreamed of this moment for months, my love." He breathed, taking long strides towards where I stood. "I apologise if I seem a bit desperate, but every time I dream of such a circumstance, of being near to you, the minute I turn away, you disappear without a sound."

"I'm here Loki." I placed a hand on his cheek, and brushed my thumb over his soft, alabaster skin. "I'm not going anywhere."

With that, he scooped me up in his strong arms and placed me down onto the soft sheets. I lay down on my back as he rested his hands beside me to hover over my body. Without warning he crashed his lips onto mine, and I melted into him, deepening the kiss and wrapping my arms around him to pull him closer. I arched my back to bring contact between our chests again, and the feeling of his racing heart against the soft cotton fabric of his shirt made my lips twitch into a smirk. The idea that I could have such power over a man such as Loki was exhilarating. I used my newfound power to my advantage and flipped him onto his back so that I was atop him. I fiddled with the buttons to his shirt, but my eagerness made my hands shake and the usually effortless task became strenuous. After a little while of fiddling with the buttons I resorted to ripping the shirt open completely, sending the small plastic discs flying, and eliciting a deep chuckle from the trickster.

Once I gained access to his bare chest, I ran my hands over his lean muscles, relishing in the feel of him. I moved my hands down to his belt buckle, though my lips trailed over his chest and worked their way to his neck. But my power over him was cut short when he regained his strength and turned me onto my back. His slender hands moved over my chest underneath my shirt. With a wave of his hand my clothing disappeared, as did his, and we both paused for a moment, taking in the sight of each other. It had been far too long, the time I had spent without such a magnificent creature beside me felt like an age. I pulled him down for another kiss but instead he smirked, his green eye twinkling with mischief as he traced his lips down my chest, the feel of his cool breath on my skin made me arch my back with pleasure. His lips found the spot between my legs and he began to ravish me with kisses, causing a raspy groan to escape my lips. His tongue worked magic, eliciting cries of pleasure from me . His thumb circling my most sensitive spot as he moved his index finger into me, mouth still licking and sucking until my voice was nothing but a guttural moan, and his touch sent a spasm through my system. As he moved away I took a moment to catch my breath, my head falling back onto the covers from exhaustion. Without warning he thrust his length into me, and I let out an involuntary cry of surprise mixed with pleasure. My eyes snapped open to see the emerald iris of the trickster gazing down into mine, a wide devilish grin positioned on his features.

He drew out of me slowly, and just as slowly did he push back into me. The anticipation was excruciating, and he knew it, he was taking back his power over me. I moved my hands to rest of his back, and dug my nails into his skin. I got the response that I was looking for, he thrust into me with a cry of pain and delight, and he picked up a pleasurable pace with carnal desire. Though the bed seemed well made and sturdy at first, now it was rocking with each thrust that Loki took.

The moans and cries became hoarse, and Loki let out a deep growl of enjoyment and I felt myself reaching my peak. My cry of euphoria was mixed with Loki's as we reached climax together. I arched my back as my body trembled with the spasm, and Loki looped an arm around me to bring me to sitting, so that our lips were a mere hairs breadth away from one another. Our breathing was heavy, and our bodies slick with sweat. I fell back onto the sheets, revelling in the cool touch of the satin on my bare skin. Loki collapsed beside me, grinning from ear to ear as he continued to catch his breath.

"It has been much too long." He chuckled, his soft gaze moving from the ceiling to me. "Are you still set on leaving?"

"Was this your way of manipulating me?" I probed with a sly smile. Loki wrapped me with his arms, and held me in a firm embrace, kissing my forehead affectionately.

"That all depends." He whispered against my skin. "Did it work?"

I let out a low chuckle and wrapped my arm around him, drawing circles on his chest with my index finger. "You know that I have no choice in the matter." My voice turned firm and serious.

Loki let out a sigh and tightened his grip around me. "I know." He breathed. "I want only for your safety."

The sincerity behind his words made my heart pang with guilt once again. The idea of not trusting him felt foreign to me. Here was this man, professing his love to me, wanting only my safety, and yet, when he had answered the door in mock coldness, all I could think was how I hoped it was a mere game he played. I knew that I could trust him, now more than ever. I loved him, and I wasn't afraid to admit it anymore.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think I surprised myself with that smut. Jeeez. Anyways, here is a nice fluffy and smutty chapter for you guys, I hope you enjoyed it. I needed to cheer myself up a little bit because I had to say goodbye to one of my friends from America today, her and another friend came down to Brighton (Where I live) and we spent such a nice day together, but now I'm a little sad to see her go. [Sobs in corner] Anyway, sorry that I keep writing little notes about my life after my fics, I'll try to stop that :L x
> 
> Please review.


	7. Only If For A Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Upon her return to the Avengers Mansion both Clint and Natasha are surprised to see that there's no wild parties thrown by Tony Stark, yet that doesn't mean to say that he doesn't have something planned. To her surprise, Natasha enjoys herself, though it isn't until later that the evening grows bitter.

 

“Are you ready?”

Clint was holding the handle to the front door uncertainly, his hazel eyes gazing back at me, they glistened with anticipation. I pursed my lips and raised an eyebrow at him, wondering what sort of surprise Tony had planned for my return.

“Just open the damn door, Clint.” I ordered, the corners of my lips twitching with secret excitement. Clint chuckled and obliged, turning the key to the right and pushing the wooden door forwards to reveal a very empty hallway.

“Huh.” Clint surveyed the empty space with confusion, obviously he had been expecting some grand decorations and a huge crowd to scream ‘surprise!’ at me when I entered. “I guess it’s not as extravagant as I had thought it would be.”

“I told Stark that I didn’t want a party.” I reminded my partner as we walked inside. I studied every corner of the room for signs of movement, and suddenly the whole situation felt like another SHIELD job.

“Maybe he actually listened.” I gave Clint a doubtful expression, to which he returned with a chuckle and placed my bags down on an armchair by the staircase. “Drink?”

An involuntary smile crept over my lips at the idea, and I relaxed from my guarded stance and followed Clint down the hall towards the kitchen. I slowly lost myself in the memories of my time spent in the mansion the year before. How I had wondered the halls in the early hours of the morning trying so hard to forget the dreams that haunted me in my sleep. How all that changed when Loki arrived. As we passed the sitting room I turned to look for the armchair that Loki would be sitting in when I would come downstairs to meet him, usually with a book in hand. The lights of the sitting room where off, and the room was blackened with darkness, but I could just make out a figure of the seat. Out of instinct, I pulled the handgun from my back pocket and pointed it straight at the figure. Clint jumped round in confusion and then proceeded to copy my actions, just as surprised by the silhouette.

“Sur… surprise?” The figure leaned forward slowly, raising their arms up in defence. I recognised the voice instantly and lowered my gun with a relieved sigh.

“Stark, what the hell?” I tucked my gun in my back pocket and flicked the light switch, revealing a multitude of people crouching behind furniture in attempt to be out of view.

“I’m not the one pointing the gun at someone!” The billionaire pointed out, rising from his armchair. “You just ruined the surprise.”

Slowly the other bodies began to rise, showing their faces. Bruce was hidden behind a curtain, whilst Steve and Pepper both kneeled behind the couch and Thor appeared from behind the bookcase. Three more people arose from their hiding places, one I recognised to be Dr Selvig and I gave him a curt nod before taking notice of the other two.

“Natasha, this is Jane Foster and her good friend Darcy Lewis.” Thor announced as he strode to the middle of the room to bring an arm around Jane.

“Pleased to meet you.” I smiled, and quickly shook their hands in greeting.

“Surprise!” Darcy chirped awkwardly, and I turned to see Clint still stashing away his gun. “Remind me to never go to a surprise party for an assassin.”

“Nat!” Pepper waded her way through the others to reach me before enveloping me in a tight embrace. “How are you feeling?”

“I’m fine, really.” I smiled, and I squeezed her back. I hadn’t seen Pepper in a long time, but our relationship had grown since the ‘girls night,’ as Tony liked to call it.

* * *

The rest of the evening was spent drinking and talking amongst our selves. It was nice. I had expected Tony to go all out, with streamers and hard liquor, but I was pleasantly surprised. I got to know Jane and Darcy, and I could see first hand the romance between Jane and Thor. From all of the thunder god’s stories I hadn’t fully understood just how much he admired Jane, but I could see the love and admiration in his eyes whenever he looked at her. The romance didn’t go undetected by Tony, as he and Darcy were relentless in cracking jokes and sarcastically going ‘Aww’ whenever they were close to each other. As predicted, Tony had concocted his special brew for the evening, and he ordered everyone to drink at least two, though I was sure that a multitude of them were thrown into the potted plants. It wasn’t long until the music began, and Tony decided it was his job to run the show, specifically playing AC/DC tracks and trying to teach Thor about ‘proper music taste.’ I breathed a sigh of relief when I saw Steve making a trip to the iPod docks and putting his mp3 player in, and when the 40s swing music began to play everyone turned and gave him incredulous expressions.

“What?” He smiled awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck. “It’s Nat’s party. I thought she’d enjoy this more than classic rock.”

Tony stared at Steve as if he’d just witnessed a murder, his eyed widened with disbelief. “But -” He was interrupted by Pepper, who quickly swooped in and lead him to the centre of the room to dance. She whispered something in his ear that seemed to pacify him, and I was thankful that I didn’t get to hear what she’d said, and hoped that I never would.

“Care to dance?” Steve reached out a hand, and with a knowing smile a took it and let him lead the way.

As they evening drew to a close the atmosphere had calmed, We’ll Meet Again was now playing on the sound system and Bruce, Dr. Selvig, and Jane were sitting on the couches listening to Tony describing his latest scientific contraption that he created in his lab. They all seemed captivated by his story, whereas Pepper, Clint, Steve, Darcy, Thor and I gathered by the bar in our own separate conversations.

“Do it, I dare you, do it.” Clint grinned pushing the shot of vodka in Darcy’s direction.

“No, I can’t touch another drop.” Darcy slurred with a huge grin on her face. “I think I’ll pass out soon.”

“Cap? C’mon don’t fail me now.” Clint turned to Steve, his expression pleading.

“Why are you so desperate to empty the whole bottle?” Steve asked, and he grimaced at the sight of the clear liquid sloshing in the glass.

“Why are you so desperate to avoid drinking it?”

“You guys are pathetic.” I scolded, reaching for the tiny glass and knocking back the contents in one gulp. Clint clapped his hand in enjoyment; he was obviously a little too drunk for his own good.

“Way to fulfil the stereotype, Nat.” Pepper jibed with a smirk. Her expression softened as she opened her mouth with a large yawn. “I think it’s time for bed.”

“Sleep sounds amazing right now.” Darcy agreed, her eyelids drooping tiredly.

Slowly the gathering of people in the sitting room began to thin out until only Thor, Jane and I remained. Jane had insisted in helping clean up some of the mess and Thor seemed determined to wait up for her. I stumbled a little as I reached for some of the ‘Welcome Home’ cards the others had given me, I tucked them under my arm and left for my room along with Thor and Jane. We walked quietly along the halls and up the stairs, and I tried my best to ignore how much of a third wheel I was being.

I wondered if Thor knew of Loki and I forgiving each other, and did he know the extent of our forgiveness? I doubted that Loki had told Thor of our time spent in the bedroom earlier that day, but the guy did seem pretty clued in about the relationship before.

“Good night, Natasha.” Thor smiled as we stopped outside my door.

“See you guys in the morning.” I replied, smiling at Jane beside the tall god. “It was great to meet you, finally.”

* * *

After a few nods of goodbye I opened my door and entered my room. I stumbled around in the darkness, forgetting that turning on the lights would probably have been a good idea, but I was more focused on getting into bed.

“I thought you’d never come.” His soft and silky voice stopped me in my tracks, and I turned to see Loki sitting in the armchair by the window, book in hand.

“Loki.” I breathed, and a smile spread across my lips at the sight of him.

“I couldn’t bear to be away from you.” He whispered, rising from the chair and taking slow steps towards me.

“How long have you been here?”

“Two hours.” He smirked. “I have very much enjoyed listening in on the drunken banter between my brother and Dr. Selvig.”

“Ah yes.” I laughed softly. “They even came up with their own secret handshake.”

“You should see him when he’s had two whole barrels of Asgardian mead.” He smirked, recalling the memory fondly. “Guess who persuaded him to drink that much.” He grinned proudly and the sight of it made a chuckle bubble up from my lips. He hooked a finger under my chin and brought my lips up to meet his in a gentle kiss. Our lips parted and my gaze fell upon his brilliantly green eyes, piercing through the darkness. “I want to show you something.”

Before I could reply or ask what it was he wished to show me, a bright blue light enveloped us and dissipated as quickly as it had appeared to reveal the glittering view of the Manhattan landscape at night.

“The Empire State Building.” I murmured as I recognised where we were. Loki nodded, a smirk ghosting over his lips. The observation deck was completely empty, and the only sounds were the distant beeping of cars down below. From where we stood we could see the whole of the upper east side of Manhattan, and the buildings resembled those of miniature toy cities, and the cars and pedestrians were mere toys as well. There was a small sense of power, looking over such seemingly meagre creatures, and then I realised what I had failed to do for some time. Why Loki’s mood had turned so sour the night that we had visited the observation deck so long ago, not only had he been reminded of the destruction he had caused, but he had also been reminded of the sense of power he had felt atop stark tower, and I could hardly blame him for feeling so bitter towards a loss against the ‘small’ and ‘meagre’ creatures below him.

“I came here almost everyday whilst you were unconscious, Thor didn’t know of course.” Loki took my hand and led me to the edge of the observation deck to get a better view of the glittering city. “I came here to think.”

“About what?” I looked up at Loki curiously, his expression seemed to harden and I squeezed his hand for comfort.

“About what I would do if I lost you for good.” He looked down at his feet uncomfortably. “It was bad enough thinking that you hated me, Natalia, but the thought of you dying… I couldn’t bear it.”

I moved in front of him, gliding my hands over his chest and looking into his emerald eyes. “Loki, I’m here, I’m alive and I love you more than anything in this godforsaken world.” His eyes glistened with fresh tears, and my own eyes stung at the sight of them.

“You make me weak, Natalia.” He chuckled under his breath. “And yet, I cannot imagine a world without you.”

I wrapped a hand around his neck and reached up to kiss him on the lips. His arms snaked around my waist, bringing me closer. We stayed there, our lips pressed together passionately with the distant buzz of the city behind us. The world seemed a million miles away, the noises of traffic faded into nothing, the only things left in the world were Loki and I.

Slowly he pulled away from our kiss, and I opened my eyes to frown at the loss of contact. But instead my eyes focused on our new surrounding. No longer were we at the top of The Empire State Building, I looked around to see a large pond, the moonlight glittering off the waters. Beside the pond was a bench, and suddenly something clicked, it was the bench where we used to sit. So many nights had been spent on that bench, whether they were spent talking or just sitting in each other’s presence, the sight of the little park was heart warming. I had gone back to that spot only twice after Loki had left. I remember the first time I did so, how I curled up into a ball on the bench like a small child, fighting back the tears. The second time I visited, it was to say goodbye, to make my peace with it as I was leaving for a mission and the park seemed to be the only thing that had reminded me of him. But I had him now, his arms wrapped around my waist, holding me firmly and I never wanted him to let go.

“What are we going to do, Loki?” I asked, it was the question that had been on my mind since I had left him in his room when I had left the SHIELD base for the Avengers Mansion. His brow furrowed, and his eyes bore into mine as if searching for the meaning behind my words.

“What do you mean?” Despite the coldness of the evening, it was his silky voice that drove a shiver down my spine.

“I mean, we can’t keep meeting in the evenings. I’m going back to working for SHIELD soon, and who knows when you’ll be going back to Asgard.” His grip around my waist weakened, but Loki nodded in understanding.

“In the meantime -”

“No. We can’t just plan for the meantime!” I broke away from his grasp, noticing the pained expression on Loki’s face as I moved away.

“Natasha, please.”

“Is this all just temporary to you?” I asked, ignoring the pang of guilt in my gut for even bring up the subject. I had to push away the longing ot go back to what could have been an amazing evening between the two of us, but I couldn’t keep this off my chest. “Do you just plan on going back to Asgard and forgetting about all of this until you have to make a quick pit stop on earth and get a little bored?”

“After all of this you still don’t trust me?” He questioned, his voice taking on a harsher tone.

“I want to.” I stated, crossing my arms from the bitter coldness that was taking over what used to be a mildly warm evening. Loki’s jaw tightened, and his eyes narrowed in anger, making my heart drop at such a sight. His facial expression was reminiscent of just over a year ago, when Loki first came to the Avengers Mansion. “It’s hard, Loki. You have to understand that.”

“I don’t believe this.” He hissed, throwing his arms up in the air out of defeat. I rolled my eyes at him, the guy could really be a drama queen sometimes.

“Look, I shouldn’t have brought this all up, I don’t really want to have this conversation right now, I’m not in the right state of mind.” I muttered, realising that it was probably the alcohol that forced the words from my lips rather than my own conscience. “Just take me home.”

“No.” He snapped, and he clasped his hands together as if trying to contain his anger. It only made me more uneasy. “No, you may walk home.”

 With a flicker of his hand he was gone, and I was left in the park alone. I half expected to turn around and find him standing behind me, a smug grin on his face at how he had fooled me. Yet, when I glanced around my surrounding, I was truly alone. I was shivering, the night had grown to freezing temperatures and I suspected it was Loki’s doing, nevertheless, I wished I had at least grabbed a jacket or coat before he teleported us to the Empire State Building. I stood with my feet rooted to the ground for a good five minutes, still in shock at what had just happened, before giving in and beginning to walk home.

* * *

With my mind still a little buzzed from the vodka shots, the journey home seemed to pass by quickly, and before I knew it I was standing in front of the large gates of the mansion. I nodded at the guards as they allowed me to enter, and I ignored their looks of concern as I stumbled up the pathway, clutching myself for warmth.

“All alone again, Natasha?” An eerily familiar voice came from behind me, and I turned speedily on my heel to find who it came from. But there was nothing. No one. A deep disembodied and gravelly laugh followed my movements, it too was familiar, but I couldn’t place it, no matter how hard I tried. “You really should be more careful.”

“Who’s there?” My eyes scanned the garden, but the lamplight only reached so far, and I guessed the intruder was hiding in the shadows. “Show yourself.”

“Do you not recognise my voice, Natasha?” I could hear the smirk on his face as his words fell from his lips. “What a pity, we spent so long in each others presence, I’m surprised it isn’t seared into your memory, or perhaps it’s more reminiscent of a bad dream?” From the corner of my eye I noticed movement, and all at once a cloaked figure emerged from the shadows and into the warm light of the lamps. “How are the teeth?”

“You.” My eyes widened in surprise, it was the man from the cell, the one who had interrogated me time and time again, the one who had tortured me for information. “But you’re supposed to be -”

“Dead?” He sneered, taking slow steps forward. I reached for the gun that I kept in my back pocket, but when I felt its absence I remembered how I had set it down at the mini-bar in the lounge earlier. “How disappointed you must feel. I wonder why your beloved prince of Jotunheim never told you of my survival.”

“So what, you’ve come to finish the job? To kill me?” I challenged, ignoring how he tried to make me question Loki.

“Killing you would be counterproductive, my dear.” He crooned, stepping closer into the light and revealing his strange visage. The right half of his face looked burned, charred or something, and the other held a bluish hue. As predicted, his lips were curled into a menacing smirk, and his odd coloured eyes were fixed on me. “You’re our bait.”

Before I could make sense of his words, I felt hands grab me from behind, and another covered my mouth to suppress an inevitable cry for help. The last thing I saw was the face of my capturer, his silver hair that was tucked neatly behind elf-like ears, and he was grinning viciously, and then it was darkness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: So this was a pretty short chapter, I'm just having a little trouble with this fic at the moment. But this chapter was exceptionally hard to write for some reason. Anyway, I think that after what's just happened, I should feel more inclined to write the next chapter. I will try to update soon, in the meantime, if you haven't already, why don't you try reading my High school!AU fic 'SHIELD High' which will probably be updating sometime on friday perhaps. I'll try to stop writing little messages at the end my chapters, I noticed that I do tend to ramble on about random things going on in my life...
> 
> Please review x


	8. Who Did That To You?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Once again at the mercy of her previous assailant, Natasha is left with no option but to wait for The Avengers to come to her aid. But something about how she has been captured is off, and Natasha's abduction may have more to it than she initially thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: So like in Beauty of The Dark, I have written a little section of this chapter in third person. Basically, I've been having some trouble with this fic lately, and writing a little bit in third person really helped get me out of the rut that I was in. (I regret not writing these fics in third person in the first place...)
> 
> But after writing this chapter, I think it's gonna be ok. I think I just lost some motivation is all, but it's coming back.
> 
> Another reason for the long awaited update is becuase it was my birthday on Saturday, and I've been recovering ever since D: x

 

“You have to let me go!” Loki hissed, slamming his fist on the cold metal table in front of him. His previous horror of Natasha’s capture had turned to rage. Fury met Loki’s cold glare with one as equally frosty, he sat calmly at the desk, his hands clasped together and resting in front of him, giving him an air of importance.

"You are under lockdown, by order of SHIELD." He stated, his words holding none of the emotion that was rattling his mind. "If you leave by force, we will have no choice but to detain you as we have done before. Remember that you are here as a guest, Loki, be happy that we haven't shoved you in a cell until your father orders you back."

"You fool! You don't understand!" He crashed his other fist down upon the table to make his point, Fury barely flinched at the God's movement. "I can help save her!"

"The Avengers have been sent out to find her, Thor has heard from Heimdall who tells us where she is." Fury leaned forward in a patronising manner, as if he needed to state his point more clearly. "They will bring her back unscathed, I can assure you, I have every faith in them. Agent Romanoff's assailant didn't exactly make it difficult to find her."

"You say you know where she is." Loki began to pace, the look of anger drained away and was replaced with a more pensive expression. "Where?"

"I'm not going to tell you." Fury replied, leaning back against his chair. His deep voice was stoic, yet Loki knew it would be useless to try and needle the information out of the commander. "From how easily we managed to locate her, we figured it was a trap, most likely set for you."

Loki crumbled into his chair on the other side of the table, resting his face in his hands in a defeated manner. Fury stared wide eyed at the trickster, who until now had always tried to come across as cold and calculating, yet now he sat in front of him, fighting back the tears.

"Please." He breathed, it was barely audible, and had the room not been so quiet, Fury might not have heard. "Please, this is my fault, you have to let me help."

Nick Fury, who had always prided himself in his ability to be professional in tough circumstances, found himself fighting to hold back the snarky remarks about Loki's pleads that filled his mind. Never had he expected to see Loki, one of the toughest villains he'd had to face, begging to help one of his agents.

"You can help by staying here." Fury struggled to soften his voice, but he knew it would help to soothe the afflicted god. "We cannot let you out of SHIELD's base, not while there's a potential threat."

" _Potential_?" Loki looked up from his hands, his eyes reddened and teary. He furrowed his brow in confusion. "Director Fury, one of your best agents has been taken, again, and you label this as a  _potential_  threat?"

"Well, compared to, I don't know, an alien attack of Manhattan?" Fury's tone turned to harshness. "I'd say that it's not as much of a threat. Yet."

Loki's lips tightened, he slumped back into his chair, and looking less and less like the Asgardian prince he wanted to appear as. "And  _this_  is your final verdict?"

"Yes." Fury replied bluntly.

"There is nothing I can do to change your mind?"

"No."

"So you expect me to sit back and wait, while the woman I love is tortured, until my oaf of a brother can find her?"

"I expect you to understand -"

"And what if they fail?" Loki interrupted, his voice turning into a raspy hiss. "What if they do not reach her in time?"

"If they get there too late, then…" Fury trailed off, unable to imagine the consequences of such an event. It hadn't occurred to him how scared he really was for Natasha. He'd been there from her lowest point, he'd helped turn her around and into the woman that she was.

"Then you best pray, Director Fury, that the walls of this base can keep you safe." He stood from his chair, staring Fury in the eye with a look of pure contempt. "Because if I lose the one thing that keeps me sane, you will be the first person to feel my wrath."

And with that, Loki excused himself from the room, leaving Fury alone with his thoughts.

"Security." Fury murmured into his radio. "Keep Loki on high alert, make sure he stays in his room until further notice."

* * *

It was the distant opening and closing of doors that aroused me from my sleep. I quickly registered the way my arms were chained above my head, and my feet chained by the ankles, I was surprised that the metal that dug into my skin didn't wake me up sooner. My head hung heavily on my shoulders, the pain from where I'd been knocked out throbbed at the back of my skull. I perked my head up to look around at my new surroundings, to my surprise it was no dark and dingy cell this time, but instead it was some sort of living room. It was a luxurious space, two plush sofas sat at the far end, a chandelier hung glistening from the ceiling and a long Persian rug lay before me. For a moment I considered that it was a setting for one of my dreams, but the figure that emerged from the doorway in front of me confirmed that this was a reality.

"She's finally awake." The voice of my capturer reverberated throughout the large room, and it sent an involuntary shiver down my spine.

"You're Malekith aren't you?" It was all I could manage, and I inwardly cringed for how ridiculous the question sounded on my tongue, so drowsily spoken. The pain of the blow to my head mixed with the drawbacks of the alcohol consumed prior to my capture was blurring my vision and numbing my mind. But I could remember Thor telling us of the dark elves, their silvery hair and pointed ears. His description of their leader, Malekith, had perfectly fitted the appearance I had been confronted with before the darkness consumed me.

"My reputation precedes me." He stepped closer, and the light revealed how his lips were curled into a sneer.

"What do you want with me?" I was satisfied with how I managed to keep my voice from wavering, and I did my best to keep a strong façade, no matter how scared was.

"We don't  _want_  you." Malekith stated, waving his hand dismissively. "We  _need_  you."

To that I quirked an eyebrow, a slight smirk played on my lips at his words. "Desperation?" I sniggered, relishing in the grimace I managed to evoke from the elf. "From the 'great Malekith'? You need a Midgardian?"

"Not just  _any_  Midgardian." He scowled, obviously sore from the amusement I felt on the subject. "But the Midgardian who holds the affections of a certain Jotun prince." He sneered, delighting in his upper handedness. "You're our bait."

"Bait?" I swallowed hard, barely disguising my fear on such a subject.

"When he comes for you, and he will, you'll watch your beloved trickster fall at your feet." He chuckled, taking a few steps back.

"Was that your goal the first time?"

"Almost, our aim back then was to lure him back to this godforsaken Earth, for this is where he is at his weakest. We're lucky that he is so predictable when it comes to a pretty face." I registered the 'this' in his words when speaking of Earth.

_'So we're still on Earth, that's comforting is suppose…'_

"It won't work." I spat, the anger bubbling up inside of me. "He won't come."

"Now we both know that's not quite true." He sniggered, turning to walk to the exit. "When he arrives, you'll barely have time to apologise before I slit his throat."

Apologise. The argument, I had completely forgotten. I could only imagine the anguish Loki would be feeling at my disappearance, he would be blaming himself, and SHIELD would do so as well. "Why are you doing this?" I questioned, trying to stall the elf from making whatever plans he could. "What do you have against Loki?"

"There's a price on that boys head." He sneered. "Let's just say I'm making an investment for my kind."

"And if you kill him, then what?" I grilled, ignoring the way my heart was beating in frenzy. "You can't be so ignorant to think that the people of Asgard won't make you pay for his demise."

"You really think Asgard could have the upper hand against us?" He let out a stony laugh. "There are armies of Chitauri, Frost Giants and Dark Elves at my disposal, and you think that little meagre realm stands a chance against us? You should know that Odin wouldn't risk so much for a son he doesn't even love."

"You're wrong, and you won't win." I felt my vision blurring, and my head weighing heavier. I managed to slur out a few more words before I was brought back to unconsciousness. "He'll find a way to beat you."

As I slipped away, the last thing my ears heard was the distant laugh of Malekith and the closing of the door as he left the room.

* * *

My eyes snapped open to the sounds of crashing, the shattering of glass, the cracking of wood and the distant grunts of battle that drew clearer as I regained consciousness. My blurry vision began to focus, and in front of me I saw my comrades, fighting against a groups of the dark elves. The chandelier had fallen to the floor and seemed to be the smash of glass that had brought me to consciousness. The whole room had been practically turned upside down. As my brain slowly comprehended what was going on, I looked for Loki, but he was nowhere to be seen, neither was Malekith. Out of fear for his safety I began to rattle against my metal bindings, trying to rip them from the walls with all of my strength. It was no use.

"Clint!" I yelled, watching him defeat an elf as he plunged one of his arrows into his skull using only his hands. I knew he would have preferred to be further from the action, using the distance to find a better aim and use his trusted bow, but when fighting up close, Clint liked to use his arrows as a kind of dagger. He looked up from the elf that fell at his feet, he quirked an eyebrow with a slight smirk. "A little help?"

"I don't know, Nat." He shrugged, sauntering over to where I was tied up as if there was no battle going on behind him. "You in bonds, it's kind of hot."

I didn't bother to give him a pretend smile at his stupid remark, I was too worried that Loki had come and Malekith had gone through with his plans. Clint began to fiddle with my confines, using one of the miniscule arrowheads to break the lock. "Where's Loki?" I breathed, my voice was raspy, and I could feel my head weighing down again, whatever Malekith had used to knock me out, it was effective.

"Fight first, ask questions later." Clint murmured as he broke the chain around my wrist.

"Where the fuck is he, Clint?" I pressed, using the freedom of my hand to clasp his shoulder tightly as if to squeeze the answer out of him.

"He's at the SHIELD base, Fury wouldn't let him come." The words were sweet to my ears, and I rested my head back on the cold stone wall behind me as Clint unlocked my chains, stopping every now and again to take down an assailant.

When I was finally free I moved into the fight that was taking place further down the room, it wasn't long before I was surrounded by the creatures. The blow to my head was still throbbing, and my fists aim was off. The longer I stood in the battle, the more disorientated I became, until only shapes and colours filled my sight. The pain was not as strong as it once was, yet I could feel myself crumbling to the ground, and I let out an exasperated sigh at the fact that I could feel myself losing consciousness again.

"You've got to be kidding me." I heard myself say, and then it was darkness again.

* * *

A light switch, that's what I felt. I reached my hand up to the wall for balance, and I found a light switch. A smile grew on my face at this, for I knew I couldn't wonder in the darkness forever. I light switch would help me find my way around. I flipped the switch, and there was a moments wait before the lights began to flicker on, revealing the familiar sight of the Avengers Mansions halls. They were covered in snow, it was so deep it reached my knee, yet I felt no coldness when I trudged trough the iciness. I began my way to the kitchen, somewhere in the back of my mind told me that was where I should head, so I did. The halls seemed to stretch on forever, and when I finally saw the end of the hall that opened up to the kitchen, I noticed a tall figure. My brain instantly switched to fight mode, and I reached for the gun I usually kept in my back pocket, but when my hand reached behind me, it touched only a soft silk material. I looked down, noticing for the first time that I was wearing only a black silk negligee.

"You look beautiful." Loki's voice reverberated through the snowy halls, and my brain registered that it was he who stood at the entrance to the kitchen.

"Loki?" I stepped forward, slowly his figure became more distinct, and I could see his shining emerald eyes in the distance. "Loki, I'm sorry."

I started into a run, but the hallway stretched further in front of me, and the more my legs moved to reach him, the further I found myself from him.

"Worry not, my spider." He called from the other end of the hall. "I will find a way to get to you!"

Slowly I began to sink into the snow, and I lost sight of him. "Loki!"

"I will find you, Natasha." He called again, his voice sounding all the more desperate. "And I shall not stop until I have you in my arms!"

* * *

My eyes flickered open slowly. A warm orange light filtered through a window to my left, and through the corner of my eye I saw sheer curtains that danced in the breeze from the open window. Silk, that was one of the first things that I registered, my arms rested by my side, but they lay on top of a silk duvet. I ran my hand over the soft fabric, recalling the feeling of the negligee in my dream, it must have been the duvet that I felt instead.

Slowly I began to prop myself up on my elbows to take a better look around my surroundings. I was in a large canopy bed, plentifully bestrewn with richly coloured silks and embroidered pillows and throws. A sheer green fabric was draped over the bed, and hung down at the posts. The rest of the room was glistening with golden colours, extravagant paintings and tapestries. I knew exactly where I was, after many descriptions from Thor around the dinner table, and more eloquently put descriptions from Loki, I recognised my surroundings to be Asgard. I forgot to breathe for a moment, as I sat in the bed, clinging to the silk sheets, all knowledge of how to use my lungs escaped me. I finally let out a deep exhale and sprung from the bed, beginning to pace wildly.

"My lady" Thor's voice seemed to come from nowhere, and I spun around, probably looking like a deer in headlights. He stood up from a large armchair at the far end of the room, which seemed to open up into a larger living room type area. "You're awake."

"Are we where I think we are?" I asked, my voice wavering with shock and confusion.

"We're in Asgard, yes." He nodded, a weak smile grew upon his face at my reaction.

"How long have I been unconscious?"

"Two days." He replied, gesturing for me to sit back down on the bed. "Malekith had poisoned you, it made you weak, which is why you fell in battle." He explained taking a seat on a chair that sat beside my bed. "It was a poison that only Asgardian medicine could remedy."

"So you brought me to Asgard, to another world, just to save me?" I gazed at him in disbelief as he chuckled to himself.

"I would do anything to help save a friend." He smiled, relaxing into his chair. "Especially one who is so close to my brother."

I paused, realising that Thor must know by now about Loki and I. "So… you know."

"It pleases me greatly to hear that you and my brother are happy again." He grinned. "You cannot imagine the pain he felt when hearing of your capture… again."

"Where is he?" I asked, subconsciously looking around the room as if I could find him there.

"He is still with SHIELD." Thor sighed, as if the information vexed him as much as it did me.

"Why?"

"My father is not yet allowing his return." Thor noticed my look of anger and bewilderment; he met it with another weak smile. "He is unhappy, with me, with my brother. It took a great deal of persuasion for him to even let you into the city. I'm sure you are aware that Loki only came to Midgard with my help to sneak him out of Asgard. We went against my fathers requests for him to stay, and for that he is rather… indignant."

"So he's not letting Loki return? Ever?"

"My mother and I are planning to appeal to him later today, I wanted to make sure you were awake before I left. We hope that with persuasion he will allow Loki's return, but my father would never banish Loki forever, not for something as meagre as sneaking out."

"But Loki has his magic, surely he has his own ways of getting back."

"My father has been very thorough." Thor laughed, but there was little amusement in his tone. "He has cast a spell that locks out Loki's magic, we hope we can get him to lift it. My father is angry, but we can make him see reason, you needn't worry, my lady."

"So what shall I do while you appeal to your fathers better nature?" I asked with a sigh, and I leaned back onto the bed, realising for the first time that I was dressed in a long silvery nightgown that shimmered in the sunlight. I looked down at it curiously, momentarily distracted before Thor tore me away from my inspection of the clothing.

"Rest?" He suggested with a shrug. "What Malekith injected you with was strong, rest should do you some good."

"I've been resting for two days." I murmured, sounding like a stubborn child as I played with the fabric of my dress curiously.

"There are many books upon the shelves in the room through there." Thor gestured to the part of the room that opened up into a sitting room, and my eyes noticed the sight of a large bookcase, filled with large, old-looking tomes. "Loki tells me you have a passion for reading, and after the very strange amount of books I was buying for him to give to you, I believe that these may suit your fancy whilst you wait."

I gave Thor a coy smile. I hadn't properly thanked him for supplying me with the books, even if it was Loki who had thought of giving them to me, Thor was the one who had bought them for him to give. "Thank you." I smiled, and I got up from the bed to get a better look.

"I shall go and meet my mother, and we shall talk with my father." Thor announced, stepping towards the large oaken doors that appeared to be the exit to my room. "Feel free to explore the room, but I ask that you do not stray too far, as it easy to lose oneself. I shall return when we hear my fathers final verdict."

I nodded in thank you, and Thor left with a curt bow before disappearing behind the doors. I was left alone in a foreign land, in a large room with only books to satisfy curiosity. I pulled one of the largest and oldest looking books from the shelf and took a seat on a large and luxurious looking sofa. I hoped that I wouldn't have to make it to the end of the tome before Thor would return, as I was eagerly awaiting Odin's verdict on Loki's temporary banishment.

* * *

The sun was soon setting, and the rooms were filled with the warm orange light of the Asgardian sunset. I was too distracted with my own thoughts and concerns to read the books Thor had offered to me, I was too worried to appreciate the beauty of the sun setting over the glistening gold city. I realised as I paced the room, my nightdress swishing at my feet, that I never even asked Thor if we had won the battle against the dark elves, where had Malekith gone? Had anyone been hurt? My thoughts were interrupted by a curt and soft cough from the entrance of the room, and I turned to see a woman, dressed in a long shimmering gown with long sheer sleeves. He golden hair was held up in a neat style, with curls falling elegantly around her mature face.

"Natasha." She smiled warmly and took a step further into the room. "My name is Frigga, I am the mother of Thor and Loki."

"A pleasure to meet you." I breathed, gaping at the woman's beauty. Without thinking I gave a short curtsy to her, and she giggled a little which made my face warm with embarrassment.

"I'm sorry to have startled you, I just wanted to meet the woman who has become so dear to both of my sons, especially my youngest." She gave a knowing smile, which faded slowly as she noticed how I gazed at her in confusion. "Is everything alright, my dear?"

"Y-yes, I'm sorry, I'm just a little, um, I was wondering if your husband has given a verdict yet?" I stuttered my words like a fool, and my face blushed all the more.

"Thor is still persuading him, though I do believe we have made progress." She smiled. Moving elegantly into the room, she placed herself beside one of the tables that held bowls of fruit and a couple of jugs of water. "I needed to escape, the discussion was becoming too heated for my liking."

"But we will have a response soon?"

"I believe so. How nervous you must be!" She examined, moving closer and placing her hands on my shoulders and giving me a sympathetic look. "You have been cooped up in this room, in a world you do not know." She looked down at my nightgown, a grin appearing on her face. "And you're still in your nightgown, no matter, I hung some dresses in the dressing room for you whilst you slept."

"Thank you." I smiled in return, still taking a while to comprehend the whole situation. "But I would be just fine in my normal clothes."

"Oh, your Midgardian attire? I believe that was taken to the washroom. It was in quite a state when Thor brought you here. But it should be dry and returned to you by tomorrow." She moved to a door on the other side of the room, which I suspected to be the 'dressing room.' "Will you be joining us for dinner, or would you prefer to eat in your room?" She inquired, pausing beside the door.

"If it's ok with you, I would quite like to eat in here." I tried not to sound awkward or rude, but I didn't exactly feel like feasting in a grand hall with people I didn't know. "I don't mean to be rude."

"Oh not to worry, dear." Frigga moved away from the door with another smile. "I can understand your uneasiness. I shall have someone bring you up some dinner. If you wish to dress, there are clothes in the dressing room, and a washbasin."

The queen smiled once more before gliding back to the exit with her elegant mode of walking. "Thank you." I smiled as she nodded in understanding and closed the door behind her. Frigga seemed like such a caring and loving woman, and I could understand why Loki cared for her above anyone else in Asgard.

I stood in the room for another few minutes, before I began to pace again. Shortly after the sun had completely set, and the candles in the room had lit themselves (giving me quite a fright when they did so) there was a knock on the door. I opened it, hoping for it to be Thor with news of Odin's verdict, but it was the servants. They sauntered in, holding large dishes of food that looked mouth-wateringly delicious, and I began to realise how long it must have been since I ate. After they left I dug into the meals, taking advantage of being alone and stuffing my face without any regard for how disgusting I may have looked.

I washed and dressed myself into another nightgown, doing so took longer than imagined, as I spent a while admiring the fabrics of the dresses laid out for me. By the time I crawled into the bed I was exhausted, but I lay there, stroking the soft satin sheets, recalling the feel of Loki's bedding at the SHIELD base, and how good it felt to have him close to me again. A tear fell down my cheek at the memory, and I lay there, thinking about how much I missed him, and how alien this whole place felt, and how if only I had him with me I might feel ok in such a foreign land. I fell asleep with the tears falling down my cheeks, curled into a ball in the centre of the bed.

* * *

It must have been hours later, sometime in the early hours of the morning, that I awoke, the feeling of long slender fingers wrapping around my waist from behind, with a cooling breath on my neck as soft lips nuzzled against my skin.

"I told you I'd find a way to get to you." He purred in my ear. I didn't respond. I only smiled. I took his hands, which lay wrapped around me, and squeezed them gently. Loki entwined his legs in mine and we lay there, back to chest, in an embrace. The feeling of his chest moving against my back and the soft breath on my neck slowly lulled me back to sleep, with a contented smile on my face.


	9. Be Our Esteemed Guest

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With Loki finally back beside her, Natasha begins to relax, exploring the palace and trying to remember the difficult passageways. It's not long before and unexpected group of guests easily knock the air from her lungs, making her wonder if Asgard really is a pace where Loki and her don't have to hide.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I really enjoyed writing this chapter, which may explain why it's so long. It's a nice fluffy one for you guys, because I think they deserve it don't you? But it's just the calm before the storm, I have some plots thickening and I can't wait to write them! But for now enjoy the fluff, I think I got a little carried away by how cute they are, so enjoy it while it lasts! Mwhahahaaha!

“This may hurt a little.” The woman warned, moving a small golden contraption closer to my arm. I wondered what sort of qualifications they had for doctors on Asgard, did they even have to study medication? As the small machine pinched around my skin, I felt a thin needle pick into my arm and I winced a little but no more than I would with any other injection.

“Is that it?” I asked incredulously, looking at Loki who was grinning widely at my response.

“Strange, I would have thought it would pain mortals far more than it would an Asgardian.” The healer muttered, staring down at the contraption as if it was broken.

“But Natalia here is no mere mortal.” Loki crooned, looping his arm around my waist and nuzzling his nose into the crook of my neck. He was donned in his signature green and gold amour, a sight I hadn’t beheld in some time.

I sat on the end of the large bed in my chambers, dressed in a long dark green gown with a golden metal corset that was surprisingly comfortable and afforded enough space to move. It had been something Loki had picked out for me that morning, as I stood in front of the large array of luxurious silk dressed feeling completely dumbfounded.

“So it seems,” The healer named Eir smiled and dabbed a droplet of blood away from where the needle had punctured my skin. “This should take some time to kick in, but you will begin to feel much better. The medicine will counteract the remnants of the poison in your system, which may take a matter of days to flush out, until then you must stay in Asgard, where we can properly treat you.”

“Thank you, Eir.” Loki muttered dismissively, and I could tell by the way his grasp on my waist was tightening he wished to have me alone once again.

“I will be back tomorrow to check up on your health.” Eir smiled once more and picked up her bag of vials and other medicinal contraptions that seemed so alien to me. She left the chambers without another sound, and as soon as the door closed behind her, Loki was on me in an instant.

He hovered over me, brushing his lips along my collarbone, his hot breath sending a shiver through my system. We had barely had time to chat, after we had first woken that morning, before we were interrupted but Eir at the door. So having Loki pounce as soon as we were alone didn’t come as a surprise at all. He trailed his kisses up the nape of my neck and nuzzling into me.

“I never took you for the cuddly type.” I chuckled as he paused his kisses to snuggle closer to my frame.

“Trust me, this is a trait specially reserved for you.” He purred, clasping his hand around the back of my neck and pulling me up to meet his lips. The kiss was soft and light, far from our previous ones, which were usually more passionate and deeper. But this one had a different meaning to it, it was gentle, and Loki paused his lips so they brushed over mine as if he was handling a china doll and didn’t wish for it to shatter in his arms. It was so surreal to see him so soft and soothing. His lithe fingers moved delicately to my cheek, moving his thumb to brush over my cheekbone tenderly. I opened my eyes, meeting his emerald green irises as they studied my face, as if reviewing a painting. I could feel myself blush at being the centre of his attention, but I couldn’t deny how elated I was just being in his arms. It wasn’t like the last reunions we had, the first being my return from Berlin, which just so happened to be the first time we slept together, and the second being not too long ago when he’d first visited me in my hospital room, though I liked to count our reunion to be when we sat in the courtyard and we kissed for the first time in a year. Those times had been passionate; they had been sensual, fuelled with rage and desire, though this time it was different. From the moment we both woke up we merely lay in each other’s arms, because we didn’t need words to convey our emotions, we didn’t need interaction to apologise for the argument. We had been through so much, Loki had waited impatiently to hear of my rescue, and I had waited impatiently to hear of his fathers’ verdict. In that time of waiting any acrimony between us had washed away, and only worry had taken its place.

This moment that we shared together would inevitably have to end, so we cherished what time we had. I think more than anything we just wanted to lay in each others arms, to make sure we were both actually there and it was no dream our subconscious had chose to torture us with. I lay on my back upon the soft green covers. Loki burrowed his face into my long red curls, his arm still wrapped around my waist possessively, and our legs entwined in a strangely comfortable tangle. Our breath fell in time and we lay in silence, appreciating the feel of being so close once again.

As expected the silence was short lived, a large groan erupted from my stomach and both Loki and I struggled to contain the laughter that it elicited. Loki propped himself up on his elbow, a large grin returning to his features.

“I think your stomach is trying to tell you something.” He jested, quirking an eyebrow.

“Should we go down for breakfast?” I asked, laughing at the way Loki moved his head to rest on my belly, listening to the extent of my hunger.

“I think so, by the sound of it, you need sustenance and fast.” He mocked seriousness before another large grin replaced the once solemn face.

“Don’t listen to my digestive system, Loki!” I chided, playfully pushing him away and moving to sit up. “That’s gross.”

Loki smirked and licked his lips, moving to stand up and reaching a hand out to help me up. I glared at his slender fingers as they prompted me to take them and stand.

“Come, we shall get you some breakfast to shut up that stomach of yours.” He shook his hand out in front of me for me to take it. “And then maybe we can get a moments peace.”

I stood without taking his hand, my gaze never leaving his eyes as I did so, and I smiled gleefully as I reached a standing position. “I don’t need to be treated like an invalid you know.”

“Apologies.” He smiled smugly, taking my arm and looping it around his. “I was only trying to be gentlemanly.”

We moved together towards the large double doors to exit the room, but I stopped in my tracks, peering up at Loki who looked down at me with his eyebrows raised in confusion.

“This is the first time I’m meeting your father.” I realised, my eyes widening in concern.

“You haven’t met him already?” Loki questioned looking even more confused. “What about yesterday.”

“He was busy deciding on whether to allow you back yesterday.” I gulped, tearing my gaze away from Loki and looking at the double doors as if they were a death sentence.

“Oh how surprising.” Loki drawled angrily. “He’ll happily receive Thor’s guests, but anyone I am affiliated with he cannot make time to meet.”

“I’m sure it’s not that.”

“We could always just ask for your food to be brought up here.” He assured, ignoring what I had said, it was like he didn’t want to hear it.

“No, I can’t hide away in my room forever, it would be rude.” I muttered, almost to myself.

“You’re dealing with my father, I hardly think manners apply here.” He smirked, wrapping another arm around my waist. I inwardly smiled at how he called Odin his father, though I didn’t press him on it, I knew it was still a sensitive area.

“I’m dealing with the Allfather, the King of Asgard. I think manners certainly apply here.” Loki chuckled at my response and brushed his lips over my lips, pressing his forehead to mine.

“We could always just stay here.” He whispered longingly. Another groan erupted from my stomach and penetrated the silence.

“My stomach says that’s a bad idea.” I smirked playfully and sauntered to the doors, pushing away any fear that I felt at the time.

 

* * *

 

Loki took my hand and guided me through the complicated halls, leading the way to the dining hall. I could tell when we were growing closer, the smells of delicious meals wafted through the golden halls and delighted my senses. I barely had time to appreciate the design of the place, we moved so quickly, partially because I was absolutely starving, and because Loki was pulling me by the hand so fast to avoid any contact with passers by. I wondered for a moment if he was ashamed of his mortal girlfriend, but I brushed the feeling away, focusing on the fact that he was about to formally introduce me to his mother and father, the king and queen of Asgard.

We paused outside large oaken double doors, with beautifully intricate carvings of stunning patterns decorating the wood. Two guards, dressed in full Asgardian armour stood rigidly beside the entrance, holding long golden spears. They barely took any notice of our presence, only occasionally eyeing me, which I couldn’t blame them for, they had probably heard of the strange Midgardian currently staying at the palace, and were finally getting their first good look at her. Loki turned to me, placing both hands on my shoulders, which seemed to catch the attention of the guards a little more; it was probably surprising to them to see Loki acting to affectionately.

“Do not be afraid.” Loki reassured me, using his thumb to rub my neck comfortingly.

“Why? He can’t sense fear, can he?” I smirked, amused by Loki’s concern for my nerves. To be honest I’d gotten over the fear, I’d took part in missions far worse in comparison.

“You know what I mean.” He sighed, pulling away from me and letting his lips curl into a small smile. “We don’t have to hide here, Natalia. We don’t have any secrets to keep.”

“I’m fine.” I assured him, taking his hand and turning to face the doors once more. “I’m just going for breakfast with your parents, what’s the worst that could happen?”

Loki nodded to the guards for them to open the doors. They lifted their spears off the ground and slammed them back down to the marble floor in unison, and instantly the large doors began to open. I gasped at the sight of the large hall, framed with rows of large columns that towered high up to the ceiling. The walls were embellished with stunning tapestries and paintings. A large dining table was situated in the centre of the room, trimmed with beautiful ornaments and flowers that I had never seen the likes of before. But it wasn’t the intricate designs that literally took my breath away. It was the people who sat around the table, picking feverishly at the fruit and other foods that lay before them.

It wasn’t long before they noticed both Loki and I staring, and not long before they registered the way Loki’s fingers were entwined in mine. It was too late to move away from him, the rest of the Avengers had already beheld the sight of Loki and I holding hands.  _‘We don’t have to hide here, Natalia’_ I seriously wanted to punch him for saying that. He’d jinxed it.

“What the ever living fuck?” I heard Tony utter from the table, the sound of his words echoed lightly around the hall, and Thor gave him an angered look.

It occurred to me that Loki and I still remained in the doorway, still holding hands, and both still gaping at my comrades, of all the people, sitting at the dining table before us. I quickly took my hand from Loki’s grasp, not that it would do any good, and I took a cautious step further into the hall.

“What are you doing here?” I inquired with a shaky breath. Loki moved to my side, though as I could see in my peripheral vision, he was further from me than he had been before. He stood boldly, his hands at his side and showing no ounce of nervousness at our current situation. I wanted to hit him, sure he was a pro at hiding his emotions, as was I, yet a situation such as this called for more care than the indifference he portrayed at that moment.

“Thor invited us.” Steve murmured, his mouth falling back open after the words tumbled from his lips.

“We wanted to see if you were ok.” Clint grumbled. He sat next to Tony, looking the least impressed of the bunch. He rested his face in his palm looking more than bored.

“What about Malekith? Shouldn’t you be finding him?” It was a sudden burst of anger, fuelled by my wishing they weren’t there and my ignorance to the whole subject of how the battle had ended after I had fallen ill.

“Hold up,” Tony waved his hand to brush away my question, just adding fuel to the fire, as the sight of his gesture made my blood boil. “Are we not going to talk about what we just saw?”

“No we’re not.” Thor announced, standing from his chair and moving to stand between Loki and I. “It is a discussion to be held at a later date, but for now I have reason to believe that the lady Natasha has not yet had her breakfast, and seeing as she is a patient and a guest of Asgard, it is my duty as prince to make sure she is treated with care.” Thor gave Loki a terse nod before guiding me to the table and giving me the seat at the head of it. As soon as I was seated, as serving girl approached me and filled my plate with fruit and breads and other types of Asgardian foods. I thanked her kindly and watched as she scurried back, past Loki, who still remained rooted to the ground, and back to her place at the side of the room. I took a glance at the men who still stared at me, waiting for me to give them an answer, but I paid no attention to them and began to eat my meal.

It became quite awkward, having the whole table watching me eat in silence, but I did my best to ignore it. When I finally finished my dish I wiped my mouth with a serviette and looked back up at the men, looking placid and disinterested by them.

“I suppose now would be a good time, Natasha.” Clint eyed me from the other end of the table, still resting his face in his hand. He looked positively blasé about the whole condition, and I had to hand it to him for not telling them all while I ate just to get it over and done with.

“Loki and I.” I started nervously. It felt strange that only a few moments ago I was anxious about meeting Loki’s parents, thinking it was the scariest encounter I would have, yet here I was, in a situation I would never had expected.

“Oh god, there’s even a ‘Loki and I’” Tony moaned, leaning back on his chair looking defeated.

“Of course there is, you ass.” I snapped. My strategy was likened to ripping off a band-aid, fast and painless. If I was straightforward and didn’t beat around the bush, perhaps it would do less damage. “You think that if there wasn’t I’d be holding his hand?”

“Really? You and  _Loki_? Of all people!” Bruce waved his hand between us to prove his point, he looked genuinely confused, as if he purely couldn’t understand the thought that we were happily together.

“It’s really quite simple.” Clint murmured, causing everyone to pause and look at him in thought. “Loki came to the mansion, he and Natasha bonded, they had some make up sex, and boom! You’ve got a relationship.” Steve covered his ears as if to protect his innocence, the rest of the men just cringed at his words.

“You knew?” Tony exclaimed, looking absolutely mortified that he had been so out of the loop.

“It’s really not like that.” I replied, ignoring Tony. I glared at Clint agitatedly for his crude answer, but he merely shrugged and fiddled with his goblet of water. “Loki and I are more alike than we initially thought. Time spent together at the mansion brought us close and well…” I trailed off, not wanting to go into details.

“You fell in love.” Bruce finished, now looking more understanding than any of them. I nodded gently in reply, and I suddenly felt Loki’s cool hands grip my shoulders comfortingly from behind.

“So how long was it going on for?” Steve grilled, his features softening slightly and he leaned in looking a little more interested rather than disgusted.

“It began a couple of weeks after I arrived at the mansion.” Loki’s silky voice stated from behind me, capturing the attention of the others.

“It’s been going on under out noses for over a year?” Tony looked genuinely horrified to not have been informed on such juicy gossip, he looked at Clint and Thor angrily before turning his attention back to Loki.

“Not exactly.” Loki murmured, squeezing my shoulders at the difficult subject.

“When Loki left for Asgard last year, he was told to break it off with me.” I stated, angered that I had to relive the event in order to discuss it. “In doing so he told me that he didn’t actually love me, that it was just a game to him, and in return I told him that it was all just part of a mission on my part, which you all thought also.”

“So SHIELD never put you on a mission to get closer with Loki?” Steve looked at me pensively. “But Fury said…”

“Fury knows about Loki and I, he was covering for me when he told you.” I replied bluntly, wanting the discussion to be over and done with.

“So do you guys actually, y’know, fondue?” Everyone gave Steve a questioning look, making his face flush red with embarrassment over his virginal countenance.

“That’s a little personal, Rogers.” Loki chuckled. His laugh lightened the mood slightly, letting everyone curled their lips in amusement.

“Are we done here?” I asked, already rising from my seat and overlooking my male teammates.

“I guess so.” Bruce chuckled, looking around at the rest of them to see if they were all in agreement.

“To the happy couple!” Tony raised his goblet in the air as a toast. I smiled as the rest of them, even Clint, though half-heartedly, raised their goblets with a cheer.

Loki took my hand again. It felt strange having my hand clasped in his for everyone to see, albeit it was nice to not have to keep secrets. There would be no more touching under the tables, no more subtle glances. Loki and I were out in the open and it felt refreshing to say the least.

“Thor, where is mother?” Loki questioned when the cheering had ended.

“She and father have eaten in the gardens today, to give room for our guests.” Thor replied, a wide smile plastered on his face. Loki turned and looked at me, a grin growing on his features.

“It seems I may show you the gardens after all, like I always wished to.” I recalled our conversation that evening a year ago when Loki and I had walked to the park together, and he had told me of the beauties that Asgard provided especially in landscaping. He pulled on my hand, leading me from the hall eagerly.

“Brother!” Thor called after him, waving his hands to get his attention. “Come to dine with everyone tonight! There is to be a feast, and the lady Sif and Warriors Three are to join us!”

“How enticing.” Loki murmured with an uninterested smirk, and he turned again guiding me from the room. I took one last glance at the room as I was pulled out, and I caught the gaze of Clint. He eyed me warily, giving me a look of concern before his face disappeared behind the walls.

 

* * *

 

“Here,” Loki held out his hand presenting a freshly picked flower. I peered at it curiously, the colours were strange, and it was different from any flower I had ever seen before, yet it held a magnificent kind of beauty to it. I took it from his slender fingers and brought it up to my nose to smell it. I could barely contain the groan of pleasure that drew from my lips at the scent. It was divine. “Far better than Midgard is it not.”

“Be careful with this tour you’re giving me.” I smirked, letting Loki trim the stem of the flower and tuck it behind my ear with his gentle touch. “I may ever want to leave.”

“Then don’t.” He whispered, pressing his forehead against mine.

“You know staying isn’t an option.” I remained smiling, trying to make light of a situation that could quickly turn sour. Loki opened his mouth to protest, but a deep voice interrupted his thoughts.

“Loki.” We both turned to see a large grey haired man, he had a long white beard and eye patch, which reminded me of Fury quite a bit, though his eye patch seemed a little more glamorous than the standard black one Fury would wear. He held a long golden spear in his hand and he moved quickly towards us, a glimmer of curiosity in his eye.

“Father.” Loki sighed, moving away from me slightly to greet Odin. I contained a gasp as I realised who the man was, and I had to wonder if I should curtsey or bow or do something to greet the Allfather. “It is surprising to see you out in the gardens.”

“I wished to give room to Thor’s guests.” Odin stated, his eye flickering towards me and then back to his son.

“Oh how considerate.” Loki mocked, leading his arm around my waist to bring me closer as a sign of comfort. “So you will greet Thor’s guests so kindly but you will not give a moment to greet mine, even though she is a patient of Asgard.”

“You misunderstand my intentions, my son.” Odin assured, moving his gaze back to me. I had to keep my legs from wobbling at the intimidating stare he gave me, and Loki seemed to pick up on my discomfort, holding my waist tighter. “Yesterday I was busy deciding your fate, and you may not be here if I did not think that the lady Natasha would find comfort in your presence.”

“How kind.” Loki sneered, I moved my hand to place it over his own that held my waist, and I gave it a squeeze for comfort. I knew how he loathed his father, and I knew how difficult it felt for him to live in his brothers’ shadow. “Now if you don’t mind, we shall be on our way.”

“One moment.” Loki paused in his movements to leave, glaring back at his father in defiance. “I wish to have a proper introduction with the lady here.”

“Natalia, this is the Allfather, Odin. Odin, this is Natalia, the love of my life.” I paused at Loki’s words, trying to keep myself from grinning with joy. Though they were rushed, they still made my heart flutter at the thought of being so important to him. It wasn’t the time.

“A pleasure to finally meet the woman who has captivated my son so.” Odin took my hand and placed a light bristly kiss on the top, and I could feel Loki tense up beside me. “I do apologise for any misgivings brought around yesterday, you are most welcome in Asgard, my dear.”

“Thank you.” I bent my legs ever so slightly in a half curtsey type motion. “It’s a pleasure to meet you also.”

“Will you be joining us for the feast this evening?” Odin inquired.

“That is yet to be determined, father.” Loki muttered, pulling me away once more. “Now we really must go.”

Odin nodded and let us leave, I noticed how though he contained an air of kindness about him during the meeting, her never broke from his serious and sober façade. We moved around the corners of hedges until it seemed we were once more alone, and Loki moved from my side to stand in front of me, taking my hands in his.

“I’m sorry, about what just occurred.” He pressed his forehead to mine again, as if beginning from where we left off.

“He seems kind, Loki.” I observed, gliding my hands up is chest to settle on his shoulders that were heavily clad in his golden armour.

“That is just a mere charade he presents to guests.” Loki stated, his tone soft though his words were meant for acrimony. “He is far different from what you just saw when it’s just I in his presence.”

I hesitated for a moment before changing the subject. “Shall we look for your mother? I only met her briefly yesterday, and you speak so kindly of her.”

“Yes, my mother would be pleased to see us.” Loki agreed, taking my hand once more and guiding the way. Had it not been for him tugging me along, it think I would have lost myself the moment I left my chambers.

* * *

“We will be sleeping in my chambers tonight.” Loki announced, guiding me through the complicated halls with a firm grip on my hand. I allowed a grin to stretch across my lips, it was amusing to detect the excitement he felt at showing me his room.

“But what was wrong with the room I’m staying in at the moment?” I hid the smirk when he turned to face me. To be honest, I was greatly curious about Loki’s room, I’d been in his one at the mansion and at the SHIELD base, but that was different, that was temporary, something about the room in which Loki grew up felt so much more personal.

“That room is lovely, no doubt. I wouldn’t put it past my mother to give you only the best in Asgard. Yet, it is a room fit for a guest, and you are no mere guest here, Natalia. You deserve a room fit for a prince, and his princess.” My face undoubtedly flushed red at his words, sure most girls would dream of being a princess, but to me it felt tedious. However the prospect of being Loki’s princess was enough to make my heart flutter.

“I don’t care how luxurious a bedroom is.” I murmured, closing my eyes slowly as his lips drew closer to mine. “As long as you’re there with me.”

“We will be staying in my chambers, the view is far better from my window, and I wish for you to see it.” In a second his lips were on mine, but no longer soft, nor passionate. It was the perfect balance of romantic and sexy, a type of kiss that was brief yet left a ball of desire to grow in my core, something we would undeniably give into later.

“Wow, um.” Tony’s familiar voice echoed through the halls. We turned quickly to see Tony and Bruce standing at the other end of the corridor. Bruce was wringing his hands awkwardly, while Stark stood gaping like he had that morning. “I don’t think this is ever gonna not be weird.”

Bruce gave Tony a light shove before looking back at us with his kind eyes that were detectable even from such a distance. “We’re very happy for you.”

“Where are Steve and Clint?” I inquired, noticing the missing Avengers.

“Clint’s checking out the archery range, and I think Steve’s gone to join him, though he’d probably just be watching, I wouldn’t trust that dork with a bow and arrow.” Tony announced, relaxing a bit and leaning against a large marble pillar to his right.

“I still don’t quite trust Barton with one to be honest.” Loki quipped, taking my hand again. Bruce and Tony let a small chuckle bubble from their lips at Loki’s comment.

“Good one, Loki.” Bruce murmured, and I could sense the discomfort Bruce felt at thinking such a thing. The possibility of accepting Loki as a friend must have seemed strange to them, yet I was pleased that they could make the effort.

“Where are you two off to now?” I asked, relaxing into Loki’s body and leaning on his shoulder, the motion didn’t go unnoticed by the others, yet they didn’t bring it up.

“We’re going to the library, we thought it may pique our interests.” Tony stated, getting up from his recline on the pillar and looking about ready to leave.

“You should look at some of the Asgardian non-fiction sections, there are books that are about science, sort of like Physics in Asgard, which I’m sure that two scientists like yourselves would find more than interesting.” Loki advised with a surprisingly friendly manner. “Just ask the librarian, the old man is a little deranged but he should help you.”

“Thanks, Man.” Tony patted Loki’s shoulder as he sauntered past us, and Bruce gave a curt nod with a genuine smile. I knew how odd it must have felt for them, yet I appreciated how they didn’t strive to make it awkward.

“We’ll see you for dinner!” Bruce called as they disappeared form sight, leaving Loki and I back to where we left off.

* * *

Even the doors to Loki’s rooms were bigger than those that opened to my old chamber. They were huge, carved with beautifully intricate designs. Loki waved his hand tersely in the air, and the doors began to slowly open, creaking and groaning from the heaviness.

“Really?” I looked at him with a raised eyebrow and an incredulous smirk. “You’d think we were entering a church for crying out loud!”

“I told you,” He replied, mirroring my smirk but with more mischief. “A bedchamber fit for a prince.”

“But isn’t it tedious to wait so long for the doors to open?” I questioned, watching as the wood dragged along the marble flooring agonisingly slowly.

“Well, I much prefer to teleport.” I gave a smug smile, the twinkle of mischief still bright in his emerald eyes. “Besides, this way it takes longer for any intruders to enter, and Thor’s always had little patience with these doors, so you see it does come in handy.”

“Any way to make it go faster for me?” I asked, and within moments Loki wrapped his arm around my waist and a blue light surrounded us. When the light dissipated, I took in my new surroundings. We stood in a large sitting room type area, a comforting fire crackled in the hearth, which was built with stone and decorated with gold and marble. Two large armchairs sat in front of it, with a small table in between that held a stack of old looking books. A huge bookcase lined the far wall. A small yet large in width set of dais lead up to a bedroom area, where I could see a Four-poster bed that seemed larger than king-size.

“What do you think?” He asked, looking almost nervous for my reply. I stepped away from his grasp to get a better look at the place, and I could feel his anxious eyes on me the whole time. I walked over to the chairs that faced the large hearth, running my fingers over the books that lay on the table beside them. I could imagine him, sitting in one of the deep leather armchairs, completely transfixed on the book in his hands, turning the pages with his long lithe fingers. His dark hair dishevelled and untidy, like how I would find it after an evening spent with him in bed. And he would be dressed in a relaxed outfit, probably some sort of green tunic that would show of his slender chest.

The furniture was less glamorous, less golden than some of the furniture I had found elsewhere in the castle. It was more serious, it was more varnished wood than sparkling gold, and it echoed his personality perfectly. The whole room held his distinct scent of old pages, something he probably picked up from his towering bookcase, but it was comforting nonetheless.

“It’s beautiful.” I whispered, no mater how cliché it sounded it was the only way to describe the appearance. “Now where is this view you told me about, perhaps it can persuade me to stay.”

“It hasn’t fully won you over yet?”

“Well, I have yet to see the view you speak so highly about, and the bedroom for that matter.” I gave him a sly smile, moving slowly back to where he stood.

“I suppose, as they say on Midgard, we may hit two birds with one stone, my love.” And with that Loki took my hand again, leading me up the dais towards to the bedroom.

 

The room was larger than expected, though the large bed took up a lot of the space, it was still roomy, enough so to have a large vanity, a full length mirror, more armchairs and more bookcases, and a large wooden desk, with papers scattered around the surface. Two doors were placed beside each other on the far end, possibly leading to a dressing room and a bathroom. But the large window to my right immediately took my attention, the glass panels equalled as doors as they lead out to a medium sized balcony. Loki took my hand and led me out past the sheer curtains that floated in the wind. The view was indeed fantastic, and it provided a widespread view of the whole city, from a small little market area, to a training ground within the palace walls. I noticed an archery range, and immediately found Clint with Steve watching from the sidelines.

“Look!” I pointed excitedly at them, holding onto the stone wall that prevented me from falling, and I leant closer out of curiosity.

“I told you, you can see almost anything from up here.” His silky voice stated, and I could feel his breath hot on my neck. I turned to see him close than expected, the twinkle in his eye still present.

“I never denied that it was possible.” I smirked, turning back to view the city. “You were right though, the gardens look amazing from up here.”

Loki wrapped his arms around me from behind, resting his chin on my shoulder as we both observed the city, the people bustling about. It seemed like a scene from a movie, something that couldn’t be real, and I wondered if it was all just a dream, a hallucination brought on by the poison the elves gave me.

I felt Loki trail kisses up the back of my neck, bringing them slowly to the side, and planting them softly on my shoulder, nuzzling into me once again. I tilted my head back, brushing my lips over his forehead. Without warning Loki had me lifted in his arms, carrying me back into the bedroom and throwing me playfully onto the bed.

He leaned over me, pressing soft kisses on my exposed skin, bringing them closer to my lips until he crashed his kisses upon them, his tongue demanding entry. I stroked my hands over his armoured chest, trying to find a way to rid him of his garments, but they were too complicated. With a quick flick of his wrist the clothes were gone, as were mine, and I let out a gasp at the cool air that flowed over the newly exposed skin.

“You’ve got to teach me how to do that.” I giggled taking Loki’s lips again in a passionate kiss.

I paused a moment, drawing away from him to get a look. Our chests were heaving from loss of breath, and Loki’s arousal was apparent. I arched my back to his chest, relishing the feel of the bare skin in contact, and I grinded my hips up to his, smirking at the groan that escaped him at the feel of me.

Without a seconds thought he pushed himself into me, and a let out a moan of euphoria. God he was good.

We lay entwined beneath the green satin sheets, snuggling into each other. Loki’s hand slid over my naked waist, taking place on my back and pulling me closer to him.

“So has the room won you over yet?” He purred, drawing circles with his fingers on my back.

“I think it’s safe to say I’d be more than happy staying here for the remainder of the trip.” I smiled, leaning in and nuzzling my nose against his cheek.

“What if I found a way for you to stay here forever?” Loki whispered, his eyes looking pleading as they gazed down into mine.

“Even if you did, I couldn’t. You know I have a responsibility on earth.” The idea of putting my job before him was ridiculous, but he had to know that I could never leave my home, no matter how lovely Asgard was.

“But it is safer for you here.” He pleaded, stroking a curl behind my ear and tracing my jaw with his fingers. I could see what he was thinking, it was apparent in his eyes and the thought that he still blamed himself for my capture was enough to make me sick. I wanted to shake the thought right out of his head.

“Don’t blame yourself for what happened, Loki.” I ordered sternly, looking into his eyes with determination. “Don’t do that to yourself.”

“If I hadn’t of been so stubborn.” He began, his gaze never leaving mine, and I could see the memory replaying in his mind, the tears that welled up in his eyes just thinking about it. “If I hadn’t of left you to walk alone at midnight!”

“Don’t.” I repeated, pushing on his bare chest for emphasis. “I mean it. I’m safe now, that’s all that matters.”

“You’d been drinking, and I left you alone.” He breathed mournfully, tearing his gaze away from mine. “They wouldn’t have taken you if not to bait me.”

“Shut up.” I slapped him lightly over the head, as if to knock the stupidity out. I grabbed his chin and brought his head back up so I could look at him in the eyes again. “No one is to blame but Malekith, and his little creepy elf helpers. When I’m healed, when I’m stronger, you, me and the rest of the Avengers are going to find them, march into their little lair and beat the shit out of them, and we can kiss Malekith goodbye for good.”

Loki smirked, the anguish clearing from his eyes as his grin spread across his lips. “You malicious little devil, you.” He wrapped his arms around my waist pulling me to lie on top of him. I leaned over him, brushing my lips over his before taking them fully and ravishing him with kisses. His hands moved to entangle themselves in my hair, and he pulled me down closer to him. I took in a deep inhale, taking in his scent. Old books and mint, just one intake of the scent was enough to make my mind fuzzy with the comfort of it. Perhaps the stay in Asgard didn’t need to be too brief.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: So I just wanted to say a big thank you for all you lovely reviewers and followers and those of you who favourited this fic, you guys keep me motivated!! Also, just a little update, SHIELD High, my other Blackfrost fic, may take a little time fro me to update. SORRY TO THOSE OF YOU WHO READ IT. Basically, I started writing it and got so excited that I lost a little interest in this fic, and then when I regained my enthusiasm for this story, I seem to have gotten a bit of writers block for SHIELD High. *Dies* 
> 
> I've already written half of the next chapter, but seeing as I'm going to Reading Festival on Friday, I'm not sure if I'll be updating before at least Monday next week. D: 
> 
> Another update: I've also been playing around with some ideas to continue my meant to be one-shot fic Darkness Descends, I got a lot of comments from people wanting me to continue, so I will try!!! Wow I have a lot of writing to do! But bear with me! I promise to get it all done in time! I love you all!!
> 
> \- Prue x
> 
> Please Review x


	10. Saints and Sinners

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As she is exploring Loki's quarters, Natasha comes across one of Loki's hidden talents, much to his disdain. And if revealing one of his secret skills isn't embarrassing enough, he must deal with introducing her to the Warriors Three.

The sun was beginning to make it’s descent from the sky, painting it with a warm pink hue. The remaining sunlight filtered through the curtains and draped over our entangled forms. Loki brushed his hands over the small of my back, drawing circles with his fingertips. I lay with my head resting on his chest, listening to his heartbeat. It still felt strange that a god, a deity from the Norse myths could have a heart beat so similar to mine. We found ourselves in silence once again, but it wasn’t uncomfortable, it was soothing. In the distance I could hear the bustling market town, the shouts from intoxicated tavern regulars. It felt like a scene from a medieval film, a Shakespeare play or something. I still couldn’t get my head around the fact that I was no longer on earth. Apart from the sizable difference in height between those of Asgard and I, not to mention the beautiful, albeit strange clothing they would wear, everything still seemed normal, as if it was natural for me to be there. Having the prince by my side every second was probably the reason, but I just felt at home. Especially at that moment, whilst I was painted with the warm sunlight and relaxing beside the man that I loved, who knew Asgard like the back of his hand.

There was a light tap on the doors to Loki’s room, and I felt Loki stiffen at the interruption. He let out an audible sigh and sat up, letting his hands caress my back as they parted from the contact. I sat up slightly afterwards, holding the silk sheets over my chest in fear that the visitor may allow themselves into Loki’s room and see me without my clothes. Loki got out of the bed and with a wave of his hands his clothing returned to his body. He stepped down the dais towards the door, smoothing his hair down as he went. By the time he reached the door he was out of my sight, but I could hear the conversation between them, and I could almost sense the grimace Loki had on his face the moment he opened the door.

“What do you want?” With a smirk I raised from the bed, finding my dress and slipping it on whilst I listened to their interaction.

“A message from your mother.” I didn’t recognise the voice, but it seemed shaky and blatantly intimidated. I guessed it to be the voice of a messenger or servant. “I’ve come to deliver it to you.”

“Yes?” Loki’s smooth voice had an edge of frustration, and I had to keep myself from walking down and apologising to the messenger on Loki’s behalf. The poor man had to be terrified. “Are you going to relay the message or are you planning on just standing there and gawking at me?”

I found the metal corset that went with the dress I was wearing, it lay over by the desk that was covered in papers, and I made my way over to it, cautious to no make any sound that may distract the men from their conversations.

“Sorry, my lord. Your mother wishes to know, that is, the  _queen_  wishes to know if you are to be present for dinner.” There was a moments silence before Loki replied, the invitation hung in the air as he thought about whether or not to accept it.

“You can tell her that we will be there, but we will require seating as far away from the warriors three as she can obtain.”

“Very well, sir.” The messenger replied, his voice growing steadier. “I will tell the queen right away.”

I didn’t pay any attention to the sound of the door closing, nor did I even realise Loki’s footsteps growing close as he sauntered back to the bed. I was too captivated by the drawings that decorated the paper spread across Loki’s desk. My hands glided over the shapes, there were tree’s, flowers, large stain glass windows that even if drawn in black and white still held the beauty that the original had. My hands found a black sketchbook, it looked old, and though closed, I could see the papers were crumpled, and some were torn from place. My fingers moved to open it curiously, but Loki’s hand reached out from behind me and stopped me before I could take a look inside. I hadn’t noticed him approach me from behind, which was irregular for someone like me, yet this new found side of Loki, the creative and artistic side, it had enthralled me too much to pay attention to the man behind me.

“I didn’t know you drew.” I smirked, tilting my head to look at him. His face was serious, his lips pressed tightly together and his eyes were fixed on the book beneath my hands.

“It was not a trait that I found important.” He muttered, pulling my hand away and resting his chin on my shoulder. “Lets go back to the bed, Natalia.”

“Why don’t you want me to see what’s in here?” I asked, my tone still playful, but it was only to hide a slight rising in concern that I couldn’t help.

“It is just drawings that I have not bothered to pursue any further, mere scribbles if you will.” I felt him tug on me, willing me to return to the bed, but I wouldn’t be so easily swayed.

“You may be the god of lies, Loki, but if there is one person you cannot deceive, it’s me, and you know that.” I stiffened, not letting Loki pull me away. “What’s in the book?”

“You would think me strange if I told you.”

“Ah, so it isn’t ‘mere scribbles.’” I smirked, returning to a playful attitude. I didn’t want my curiosity to get the better of me, to turn the evening sour.

“Take a look, if you must.” Loki sighed, yielding from pulling me to the bed and instead nuzzling into my neck. “It is impossible to argue with you, my love.”

I thought about leaving the book untouched, who was I to be looking through his personal belongings anyway? But my interest had been piqued by his reluctance to show me, and I found myself unable to be torn away from something so alluring. I brushed my fingers over the leather-bound book, thinking it over. I let out a sigh as I gave in and opened the first page. I don’t know what I had expected, but it wasn’t something so simple as a drawing of a bench, beautifully depicted, it didn’t take long to realise that it was the bench we would sit at in front of the pond, how could Loki be ashamed of it? I gave him an incredulous look, but his features were tense, as if awaiting something worse. I flipped over another page to find a beautiful drawing of a tree, and I stroked the page thoughtfully.

“Loki, these are beautiful. How could you be ashamed of this?” His arms tightened around my waist, his lips twitching as he did so.

“I’m not ashamed of my drawings, Natalia.” He whispered. “But when I was drawing them I never imagined  _you’d_  be looking through them later on.”

I turned another page, and another, admiring the detail he put into every drawing, but I could feel him stiffen more and more the further I went.

“You’re drawings are magnificent, I don’t know why you never told me about them.”

“Keep going.” He pressed, though his voice displayed how reluctant he was to do so.

I turned more pages, every time stopping to admire the skill in his artwork, and every time turning to raise an eyebrow, as if asking whether or not I should be scared at what I saw. Loki would merely shake his head and nod at the book, telling me to keep going. Finally I reached what he had been so scared to show me, I turned the page from a picture of an armchair to see two pages, filled with different sized drawings of my face. Each one portrayed different emotions, laughing, anger, sadness, and even my stoic expression, which made a small laugh bubble from my lips. I gazed in wonder at the multitude of portraits, each one looked exactly like me. I turned the page again, guessing that there may be more, I was right. On the next page I found another portrait of me, this one was larger, more detailed, I turned the page again, finding more and more pictures of me. Some were just parts of my features, such as my lips, my eyes, and thought they were mere fractions of my face, I could tell that they were mine. I flipped over the pages; every single page was filled with beautifully skilled drawings of me, some of me in my SHIELD uniform, some of me lying with only a white sheet covering my body. The one that really caught my eye was one of me amongst the rest of my team, though they were simply drawn, as if rushed, yet I could still tell it was them. They were all drawn in their uniform, as was I, even Bruce was drawn as ‘the other guy’. But what I noticed most was what I held in my hands, the sceptre. I noticed instantly what the setting for the drawing was, it was from the aftermath of the battle against the Chitauri, when we had found Loki lying in Starks living room. For something that happened so long ago, Loki had remembered it perfectly.

“Is this what you feared to show me?” I asked, not tearing my gaze away from the pages. I felt Loki nod against my shoulder. “How much time do we have before dinner?”

“About two hours, why?” Loki’s voice was quiet, but I could sense the confusion in his words.

“Draw me.” I placed the book down and turned around in his arms, creeping my fingers up his chest to settle on his shoulders.

“What?” He asked incredulously. I chuckled at his disbelief and moved out of his arms to sit in one of the armchairs in the corner of the bedroom.

“Draw me.” I insisted, crossing my legs and making an exaggerated pose that made him chuckle as he watched me.

Loki flicked his fingers in the air as he turned to grab his sketchbook, in an instant the dress I was wearing was replaced by a long flowing silvery gown. I raised a brow at him as he sat upon the bed with his lips curling in to a satisfied smile.

“Was that entirely necessary?”

“Would you prefer to wear nothing at all?” He smirked, summoning a stick of charcoal in his hands as he prepared to draw.

“No,” I smiled. “But I know you would.”

“That may be, my love.” He grinned, setting down his book and getting up from the bed. He stepped towards me and tilted my head, moving me into a pose with his gentle fingers. “But that is a sight I can see regularly. I want to remember the sight of you in Asgardian clothes, for it is so beautiful.”

“How poetic.” I murmured sardonically, flashing him a smug grin.

“You must stay very still.” He murmured in my ear, his lips brushing against the skin, and his warm breath eliciting goose bumps to form on my arms. He tilted my chin up again, his lips trailing from my ear and along my jaw until our lips met in a soft kiss. He took a step back, admiring the pose he had shaped. He looked me over pensively, before nodding and taking his seat back on the bed.

* * *

I tried my hardest to stay still, despite the discomfort I felt at being in the position Loki had requested. My back slowly began to ache, as did my neck from holding my head so high above my shoulders. I felt like I was posing for a picture painted in the eighteenth century, but I didn’t complain. It felt nice to be someone’s muse. Many times on missions I had come across artists who longed to paint my face, sculpt my body into marble, but my identity couldn’t be revealed through art, and most of the time I had been pulled away by rich men who leered at me before I could make a reply.

I felt a small itch on my nose and moved to scratch it, my hand moving swiftly back to it’s position when I heard Loki’s terse murmur from where he sat.

“I told you not to move.” His voice was low, and his eyes never left the page in front of him. I glanced over to him, not moving my head from its position. He looked in deep concentration, his gentle fingers brushing over the page to smudge some of the charcoal for shading. He glanced back at me, exhaling with a deep sigh. “Don’t move.”

“I only scratched my nose.” I replied innocently, smirking at Loki’s irked expression.

“You moved your eyes.” He corrected, pointing his stick of charcoal over at me accusingly. “You must keep them focused to the left.”

“My back hurts.” I complained, revelling in how I could provoke him so easily.

“For one of earths mightiest heroes, you do sound like a petulant child, Natalia.” He observed, returning his focus to the page.

“When’s dinner?” I whined playfully. I could be petulant if he wanted.

“An hour.” He informed curtly, taking small glances in my direction before returning to his artwork.

“Shouldn’t we be getting ready?”

“Natalia, you asked me to draw you. Is it that you have changed your mind?” He sighed, relaxing a little and resting his sketchbook onto his lap.

“I didn’t anticipate it would take this long.” I muttered, following his lead and relaxing myself.

“You cannot rush a piece of art.” He quipped. He picked his book up again and returned to his drawing. “Stay still, I’m almost done.”

I stiffened back into my pose with a sigh, and I didn’t miss the slight chuckle elicited from Loki at my expense. After another fifteen minutes Loki set down his drawing and ran a hand through his dishevelled looking hair. With his free hand he beckoned me over to take a look. I let out a sigh of relief as I moved out of the uncomfortable position and moved to sit on his lap. He wrapped an arm around my waist and pulled me closer as he picked up his work.

“Can I see?” I asked, my voice was a low whisper, gentle and curious.

“I’ve only ever drawn you from memory.” He reminded me warily. He passed the book over to me cautiously before nuzzling into my neck as if to shelter himself for safety.

“Is the great king of the mountain embarrassed?” I jested, nudging him with my shoulder playfully. He didn’t reply, only burrowing further into my hair. He looked so vulnerable, more than I had ever seen him, all over a doodle in a book. I opened the page, to find it was far more than a mere doodle. It was gorgeous, absolutely amazing. He had captured me so well, it was like looking at a photograph. There was such intricate detail on the fabric of my dress, and even with a simple stick of charcoal he had managed to illustrate every single curl in my hair perfectly. “Loki this is…” I could barely fathom words, and I was sure my mouth was handing open like a tunnel. “Loki this is amazing, it’s brilliant.”

“I don’t think you know how much that means, coming from you.” He whispered earnestly. He rested his chin on my shoulder, studying the drawing I held in my hands.

“I love it.” I smiled, kissing him on the forehead and leaning into him.

“I think it’s time we prepare for dinner.” He announced, his voice becoming bolder, and more like the man I knew so well. “There is usually a gathering in the dining hall before we sit down to eat, this is spent greeting guests and in Thor’s case, drinking.”

“You don’t drink?” I raised a brow sceptically. Loki’s lips curled into a smirk as he gazed at me with those piercingly green eyes.

“Not as much as Thor.” He replied, his lips stretching into wide grin. “You’ll find the Thor you know so well on Midgard is greatly different from the Thor on Asgard.”

“He’s not an aggressive drunk, is he?”

“By Valhalla, no.” Loki chuckled. “But when he is around his friends, he can get rather carried away with his intake of mead.”

“Well, what are we waiting for?” I asked, jumping up from where I sat. Loki looked up at me with curious eyes, his fingers entangled with mine as I stood in front of him. “I think if we leave him alone with Stark for too long, things could take a turn for the worst.”

Loki let out a brief laugh, letting me pull him from his seat. He flicked his fingers, and once again I was redressed with his magic. Now standing in a long green dress, which somehow sparkled with gold in the light when moved, Loki stood admiring his fine work.

“Radiant.” He murmured, stepping closer and hooking his index finger under my chin. He tilted my head up into another kiss, something that would never grow tiresome.

“I can dress myself, you know.” I informed him with a playful smirk.

“But you do look so beautiful in green.” With his whispers, I could feel his warm breath on my lips. I longed for one more touch, but I could tell if we were to kiss again it would be difficult to stop. 

* * *

 

“Brother!” Thor’s familiar boom of a voice was hard to miss, even amongst the bustling of the hall. Servants walked from place to place, offering goblets of wine and mugs of beer, others hurried to the lengthy table to set down the ornaments or dishes. It always made me smile, somewhat, to see Thor’s face light up at the appearance of his brother, despite their disarranged past. Even from a distance, him standing on the opposite side of the hall, I could still discern the look of happiness there was planted on the blonde’s features. “Brother, come and see the warriors three! For they have much changed since our last meeting.”

“These are the Warriors Three.” Loki whispered in my ear as we stepped towards the four gods. “Dreadful company, but they keep Thor entertained, and I suppose you could say they have earned their place at the court. Though you couldn’t say that they keep it very well.”

“Not too fond of them are we?” I murmured, hiding the smirk on my lips. I watched as we drew nearer to the men, each one seemed friendly enough, except perhaps for the man with darker hair, who stood with a cold expression, yet he seemed accepted by the others just the same.

“They spend their time drinking, eating and bedding whores. This was something my brother took great pleasure in before he visited earth and met Jane Foster.” Loki noticed my slight look of shock at this information, and he let out a small laugh. “I told you, you will see a different side of my brother this night.”

“Loki, it has been too long.” A tall blond man amongst the four of them smiled, anyone could sense the falseness behind his words. I quickly tightened my grip that I held on Loki’s hand.

“Fandral.” Loki nodded tersely. He then turned to a larger ginger man, who held a large mug of beer in his meaty hands. “Volstagg, Hogun.” He then turned to the sour faced man, whose expression had turned far sourer with Loki’s acknowledgement. “It has indeed been too long, too long spent deprived from your wondrous company was I.” The venom in his voice was dripping from his lips, but his expression was masked with an air of calmness. If I hadn’t of heard his words I would have thought he was genuinely pleased to see them. Each one shifted on their feet uncomfortably.

“This must be the lovely Midgardian maiden we have all heard about.” The man named Volstagg turned to me, his smile genuine through his ginger beard. “Following in your brother’s footsteps as ever, Loki.”

Loki’s grasp on my hand tightened at the subtle accusation, and I squeezed back to reassure him.

“And what do you mean by that?” I could hear the aggression being held back from Loki’s tone, and I looked at Thor who eyed the men nervously as he took a sip of his beer.

“Wasn’t Thor the first to bed a Midgardian?” Hogunn sneered. His tone sharply contrasted his friendly demeanour.

“My name is Natasha.” I interjected, faking a smile that I knew would come across as genuine. It wouldn’t do any good for them to think that the only woman Loki could love was a cold-hearted killer. “It is great to finally meet you, I have heard so much from Thor.”

“An we have heard so much of you from the same mouth.” Fandral grinned. It was a welcoming attitude, nothing like the one in which they showed to Loki. “And much of your comrades on the Avengers, though we have not yet had the pleasure of making their acquaintance.”

“That fault is on my part, my friends.” Thor announced. “It seems I forgot to inform them of the gathering before the meal, but I can assure you they will be present later for the feast.”

“Very well.” Fandral cheered, he raised a goblet of wine. A large smile was set on his face before he noticed I had nothing to toast with. “Loki! To let your woman go without a refreshment, shame on you!”

“I was about to offer he a cup before we were so burdened with your loathsome presence.” Loki spat, clearly their pestering had finally sent him over the edge, and he took an accusing step forwards.

“Oh, delightful as ever.” Volstagg quipped, taking a sip out of his mug and looking rather uninterested. Loki looked as if he was about to lunge to them both. The corner of his lips turned up into a snarl and I looked at Thor who looked positively fed up.

“That is enough, all of you.” Thor put his arm between the three angered men. I cast a glance at Hogun, who hadn’t changed his expression one bit. Thor lowered his voice to a murmur, so not to be heard by the other guests. “This a feast to celebrate our guests, and so far you have made an awful impression on the Lady Natasha. My friends, my brother, I ask you to remain civil for the remainder of this evening.”

Loki turned to me, his features relaxing ever so slightly. “I am sorry, Natalia.”

“Let’s go and see your mother.” I murmured, casting the four men a small smile and pulling Loki away. I didn’t miss the look of astonishment on their faces, and I guessed that they were not used to seeing someone have such a power over the man they despised.

* * *

“Natalia.” Frigga opened her arms for an embrace as I greeted her. A gentle smile graced her elegant face. “You look beautiful.”

“Thank you.” I smiled in return. Frigga was one of the kindest of the Æsir that I had met, for she had such an air of gentleness about her. It was no mystery why Loki favoured her so much over the rest of his family. “The place looks amazing.”

“I believe you’ll have to commend our servants for that. Decorating the dining room is not exactly my expertise. That would lie in other things.”

“My mother is the one who taught me the art of magic.” Loki informed me, a proud grin on his lips. “And of course, drawing.”

“Have you seen any of Loki’s sketches?” Frigga asked, taking a goblet of wine off of one of the silver platters being carried around by servants. “He is so secretive of them, I’m lucky if I can catch a glance at one.”

“I’ve seen a few.” I replied, a small smile growing on my lips as Loki nudged me playfully in the side.

The doors to the hall opened with a loud groan from the heavy wood. The halls occupants turned, expecting the arrival of their king, but instead there stood in the doorway four men looking somewhat nervous and amazed.

“Natasha!” Tony waved his hand in the air as he spotted me from a distance. I had to urge myself not to cover my face from the stares that Tony’s greeting bestowed.

“It seems your friends have arrived.” Frigga observed, her voice soft and calming.

“Unfortunately.” I muttered, eliciting a small chuckle on Loki’s part.

“Why don’t you go and see to them, Natalia.” Loki entreated, squeezing my hand a little in the process.

“Are you sure?” I asked. I didn’t want to leave him alone, which in a way made me feel bad. I didn’t want to feel like I was attached to him at the hip, especially now that we were out in the open, but I hated the idea of him wondering around by himself. It was no secret that he had less than few friends on Asgard.

“Go, go.” Loki reassured, a small smile danced on his lips as he looked down at me. “I have not yet had a chance to catch up with my mother fully, I will be fine.”

I nodded and gave Frigga a smile as I stepped away.

“You guys are late.” I muttered as I neared my comrades.

“We didn’t know about these weird traditions!” Tony exclaimed defensively, earning a light shove from Steve.

“How was the library?” I asked, taking a sip of my wine.

“It was fascinating.” Bruce declared enthusiastically, his features lighting up from the subject. “Loki was right about those books. I could hardly tear myself away from the place.”

“That’s probably because you got lost trying to find a book about the history of the bifrost.” Tony probed with a smirk.

“The place  _is_  huge.” Bruce muttered, almost assuring himself. “Tell Loki we say thanks for the advice.”

“Where is he anyway?” Steve interrupted. His look of curiosity was comforting, it almost seemed like he was disappointed for his absence.

“He’s talking to Frigga.” I disclosed, holding back a laugh at their looks of confusion. “Frigga is his mother, and the queen.”

“Aw, so he’s a mommies boy.” Tony smirked with a patronizing tone. “Cute.”

“Shut it Stark.”

“How are you doing?” Clint suddenly took a step forward, a look of concern briefly flickered over his features.

“What do you mean?” I asked, trying to avoid being the centre of attention again. I had learned to despise that question. From a year ago when I was sleep deprived, to when I was in the hospital, that question was all I ever heard.

“Is the medicine working?”

“Clint, I’m fine.” I sighed, not hiding my evident disdain for where the conversation was heading.

“Trust me, Clint.” Tony stepped in, a smirk forming on his lips. I could only anticipate what crap was going to fall out of his mouth. “I think Loki’s been treating her just fine.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Clint turned to the billionaire; his anger was evident and rising.

“Well, I’m sure after Loki showed her to his room, they… looked after each other.” I wanted to slap the stupid smirk right off of his face. I glared at him contemptuously, and it was satisfying to detect the hint of fear in his eyes upon seeing my reaction. “What? I thought I was helping?”

“Time to go, Tony.” Steve tugged on Tony’s arm, pulling him away from the scene. Bruce gave a curt nod and followed, leaving me with a very angry Clint.

“Don’t let him rile you up.” I murmured, placing a hand on his shoulder.

“It’s not him.”

“Then what is it? Because you’ve been in a shitty mood all day.” I removed my hand from his shoulder and crossed my arms over my chest defensively.

“It’s nothing, ok?” Clint stepped away, looking more and more like he didn’t want to be there. “Just go back to your prince, ‘My Lady.’” His mocking tone made my blood boil and I looked around to see if anyone would notice if I were to kick him in the groin. Unfortunately the hall was filling quickly with more guests, and I didn’t want to make a bad impression.

“So that’s it? Loki is the reason you’re in such a bad mood.” It was a statement more than anything. It was clear from the moment he had seen us walk into the hall, hand in hand, that he was not ok with it, unlike the others who learned to accept it pretty easily.

“Nat -”

“Oh my god, Clint. You really can’t be happy that I’m happy?” I glared at him, I never usually showed such genuine emotion in a public place, but I was trying to elicit a proper response. “The other’s understand, and they’ve known for less than a day! Why can’t you?”

“Don’t you remember what he did to me?” He hissed, trying to keep his voice low.

“Of course I do.” I spat. In my peripheral I could see a few people turning their gazes to us curiously. “Do you remember everything I did before we met?”

“What’s that got to do with anything?”

“You forgave my past, Clint. I forgave Loki’s.” I took a deep breath, calming myself so that my next words wouldn’t be hissed at him so vehemently. “Neither of us are saints, Clint. Hardly anyone is. Look at us, our group, we all have a past, we all have things we can’t run from but here we are and we’re trying to right the wrongs.

“Why do you think Bruce secluded himself from the rest of the world? Sure he wanted a place that was calm, but also because he knew he could never go back to his home, not after knowing what the other guy did. Tony shut down the production of weapons by Stark Industries because he saw the harm it did to others and I’m working for SHIELD to wipe the red off my ledger. Loki and I, we’re sinners, we have red on our ledgers and that’s what makes us so similar. That’s why I love him, because we understand each other. All those years ago, when you saved that rogue agent, you could have killed her, you could have put her to an end. You knew of all the innocents on her kill list, yet you gave her a chance at redemption. Why can you do that to me and not to Loki?”

Clint stared back at me, a glazed look in his eye. He was no doubt recalling the night he tracked me down, an arrow at the ready, prepared to shoot me down. But he made a different call. He blinked and cleared his throat, unprepared for the question that concluded my impromptu speech.

“He threatened to kill me Nat.” He croaked, a sober look on his face. “He threatened to make me kill  _you”_

“ _I_  would have killed you that day,” I stated blankly. “Had you not given me another option.”

Clint froze up, his jaw tightening slightly and his eyes wondered over my shoulder. I was about to turn and glance at what had caught his attention, but a pair of lithe hands crept their way onto my waist.

“Is there a problem?” I heard Loki’s smooth voice ask from behind me. His voice was laced with concern and a hint of malice.

“Not at all.” Clint replied tersely. His fists clenched slightly at his sides as he continued to stare the god down. “Me and Nat were just catching up, discussing the day’s we’ve had.”

“Of course.” Loki responded, all acrimony in his tone had vanished. I had to hold my tongue over how strange it was to hear him speak so pleasantly with those who he had once despised. “Which reminds me, I hope the archery range was to your tastes, Barton.”

“It was.” Clint answered, narrowing his eyes in suspicion.

“Natalia, dinner is about to be served and we best take our seats.” I felt his breath in my ear and I had to withhold a shiver at the sensation. Barton nodded and excused himself, never removing the look of uneasiness from being around Loki. Loki waited for Clint to be out of earshot before he looped his arm around my waist and guided me to the table. “I despise how he calls you ‘Nat’.” He murmured, all previous pleasantries were now gone. “It makes you sound like you are some form of insect.”

“In a way I am.” I smirked, gaining a look of confusion from the god. “Black Widow, remember.”

“How poetic.” He mocked, pulling a chair out from under the table and gesturing for me to sit. I took my seat, letting Loki push me in to the table a little, like a true gentleman. He paused behind me, his lips brushing against my ear ever so slightly. “But let us not forget that a spider is no dirty insect.”

Loki took the seat beside me, close to the head of the table. I noticed Frigga taking her seat opposite him, with the help of her eldest son, who then sat down in the seat opposite my own. Thor gave me a large smile before his, and everyone else’s, attention was taken by the announcement from the guards, informing us that the king had arrived.

Odin strode into the dining hall, captivating everyone he passed, all except Loki, who sat gazing down at the empty plate before him. The Allfather took the seat at the head of the table, with Frigga on one side and Loki on the other. Before he sat he looked around the table, a serious look in his eyes.

“I thank you all for coming today, to celebrate the arrival of our guests from Midgard. Not only are they the first Midgardians to travel to our realm, but they are also the saviours of their own.” I noticed a few glances flicker towards Loki before they returned to their king. “Avengers, you have gained the trust and the admiration of us here in Asgard. We will aid you in any battles you may face in your realm, especially this one you face presently.”

Odin took his seat, and as if on cue the servants brought forth huge platters of food that I had never seen before. There were vegetables, fruits and meats but each serving looked different. Not in a negative way, but I found myself unsure of what to put on my plate. As if noticing my confusion, Loki took my plate and began to place various servings of food onto it. He sat my plate down in front of me and grinned.

“I’ve seen what you eat on Midgard, this is similar.”

Soon the whole hall was abuzz with the muttering of its occupants, people laughed as they reminisced, others commented on the meal. Part of me longed to be with the rest of my comrades, who sat a little further down the table, and I’d often sent them a weak smile from where I sat. I was near the head of the table, with the Odinson family, and it felt strange. Though I often spoke to Thor back at SHIELD and even at the mansion, here I found myself at a loss for what to say. I didn’t want to isolate myself to only speaking with Loki, but it seemed like the easiest option. I looked to my left, noticing that I was sat beside Fandral, who sat opposite Hogun and Volstagg, despite Loki’s requests to be seated as far from them as possible. It seemed at if they were missing someone, as beside Fandral there was an empty seat.

“Missing someone?” I asked with a friendly smirk as I pointed to the vacancy. I wanted to clear the air between Thor’s friends and I, after our last interaction where Loki looked ready to kill them.

“Ah, that’s Sif.” Volstagg smiled. He held what looked like a turkey leg in his hand, and a mug of ale in the other. “It’s a shame she couldn’t make it this evening, I’m sure you and her would have gotten along very well. I’m sure you’ve heard how she is a warrior, much like you, milady.”

“I’ve heard only good things.” I mused as I smiled back at the three men. “Thor is never short on stories to tell.”

“Have you heard the one about how Sif lost her golden hair?” Fandral chuckled; he placed a small piece of fruit in his mouth before turning to Loki with a raised brow. “That’s my person favourite.”

Loki ignored the probe, and he continued to eat his meal, though I could tell he was listening in. Thor sent Fandral a perturbed glare from where he sat, not needing words to put across how he wanted Fandral to shut up. I think everybody did.

“Fandral, stop antagonising him.” Volstagg hissed, jabbing his fork in Fandrals direction. His attempt at keeping his voice down was futile, and I heard Loki sigh audibly beside me.

“I’ve heard that story.” I interrupted, my voice losing the pleasantries it once had. “I think it’s my least favourite.”

After that I refrained from starting a conversation with them again, I knew full well that Fandral would be itching to take another stab at Loki’s patience. Perhaps he and Clint would get on. I returned to conversing with Loki and Thor, occasionally speaking with Frigga, though she was often in deep conversation with her husband. It wasn’t until later into he evening that Odin finally began to speak to us, and I didn’t realise until that moment how much I had been dreading it.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: So it's not much of a cliffhanger, but I needed to split this next chapter in half because it is so damn long. It's a bit uneventful (Sorry) but trust me, the drama is coming in the next chapter, and I may need to slip in some cheeky smut since this fic has been a little short of it lately.
> 
> This Odin and Loki confrontation is going to be interesting, not as peaceful as the last one. 
> 
> Sorry it took so long to update, I have so much going on lately, but the next chapter shouldn't take long to finish!
> 
> Please Review.


	11. Weak at the Knees

“Loki, I suppose you and your lady will be requiring new living arrangements.” Loki let a terse frown deepen in his brow at his father’s words.

“I know not what you mean.” He replied coldly. His shoulders tensing as he prepared for further interaction with his adopted father.

“Forgive me, I assumed you would be needing larger living space, especially for when you family grows.” I nearly spat out my drink as his words met my ears. My discomfort didn’t go unnoticed and Odin gave Loki a look of confusion.

“Natasha is incapable of bearing a child.” He responded quietly so not to catch the attention of others.

“But then surely you would have no heir.” Odin muttered as the realization hit him. Loki’s jaw tightened and he seemed to be holding back a fuelled anger.

“That would not mater father, Thor is to take the throne.” Loki had calmed his voice as much as he could, though it was evident he wished to word his thoughts more vehemently.

“Of course, but-”

“But you thought that Natasha is only here for me to bed her in order to bear an heir to take the throne.” Loki didn’t seem to notice my mortification on the matter. Thor, however, offered me an apologetic smile and a curt nod. Frigga stared down at her plate, her face was expressionless as she endured the confrontation between her son and her husband. “Then you are a greater fool than I originally thought, a half Jotun half Midgardian would have no place on an Asgardian throne, as you have already made clear.”

“Loki, there is no need for such acrimonious words. I incorrectly assumed that-”

“That she is nothing but a womb in my eyes? That she is just another part of my ‘devious’ plans? I love her, as Thor loves his mortal.” Thor mirrored his mother and gazed down at his plate, evidently upset to be brought into the conversation unwillingly. Loki’s last words rang out in my head, ‘as Thor loves his mortal.’ Even though he was declaring his love for me in front of his father, I couldn’t help but feel a little offended by his wording. I wanted to leave, I wanted to return to Loki’s room and get away from everyone else. We had been happy not to long before.

“Natalia, my dear, are you quite well?” It was as if she was sensing my discomfort, Frigga offered me a knowing glance before she returned to her act. “You look rather pale my dear, do you wish to return to your room to rest?”

“Thank you, I do feel a little peculiar.” It wasn’t much of a lie, I did feel a slight nausea, but I had put it down to the strange food that had been served. “I think the medicine is wearing off.”

“Loki, take Natalia back to you room, and I will send Eir to check up on her.” Frigga ordered with a gentle smile. I wanted to hug her for helping me escape the situation, in fact I just wanted to thank her for everything. She was such a charitable and kind woman, there had not been a moment that I had doubted that for the entirety of my stay.

Without speaking, Loki rose from his chair and he gave his mother a small smile offered me his hand. We walked from the dining hall, catching the attention of a few guests, and the rest of my team. I caught Clint’s eye as we walked away and he mouthed if I was ok, I gave him a terse nod, even though it was a complete lie. The more I was walking the more nauseous if felt, and I couldn’t help but feel a little angered with Loki. He knew that my sterility was a sensitive subject, yet he had approached it so crassly, without any regard for how I might have felt about it. In fact his wording throughout the whole conversation had been insensitive.

As soon as we entered his chambers, Loki turned the two armchairs in front of the fire into a chaise lounge and helped me over to it. I fell onto the plush seat, feeling the exhaustion hit me. I felt hotter, and sweat began to form on my brow. My breathing was heavier and my chest ached with every intake of breath. I closed my eyes, beginning to feel faint. I felt Loki’s hand brush over my forehead, his fingers were cool against my burning hot skin.

“Shh, it’s OK.” He crooned, brushing strands of my hair off my face. “Eir will be here shortly to help.”

“Go back to the dining hall.” I murmured, finding that speech was just as hard as breathing. “I’ll wait for her on my own.”

“I’m not going to leave you, Natalia, not when you are so unwell.”

“I’m fine.” I croaked. Loki laughed softly at the ridiculous response and he placed a kiss on my temple as he sat on the floor by my side.

“I’m sorry for what I said with my father.” He took my hand and brushed his thumb over my knuckles as he held it. “It was insensitive, and callous of me. My father has always been able to rile me up without trying, and sometimes with him I speak before I think.”

I didn’t respond to his apology verbally, instead I squeezed his hand softly as a sign that I accepted it. I kept my eyes closed until I felt my surroundings drift away as I fell into unconsciousness.

* * *

I woke up to the sound of hushed murmurs coming from the other room. I was lying in Loki’s bed, still dressed in my evening attire. How I moved to the bed was unknown to me, Loki must have carried me while I was asleep. As my mind began to focus more and wake up from it’s drowsiness, I listened in to the conversation that was taking place in the next room.

“I want to know if she’s ok.” Came a hissed whisper.

“She is sleeping, the medicine will take its effect and she’ll be feeling better soon.”

“What did you do to her? Did you poison her dinner?” The voice was agitated and desperate. But the way the words were hissed made the voice barely audible and unrecognisable, though I could ascertain that it belonged to a male.

“Now why in the nines would I do such a thing?” The second voice became angered at the others accusation.

“Just let me see her.”

“Barton, I’m going to have to ask you to leave my room.” I jolted upright as the voices fell into place. Loki’s voice was fighting to be calm, and if I didn’t intervene it could be a losing battle. “Leave now or I shall have to use force.”

“Ha, I’d like to see you try.” I paused as I crept from the bed. I knew I shouldn’t have been eavesdropping, but again curiosity got the better of me. “What do you think Nat would say if I told her you threatened me?”

“She’d say I had every right, Barton. Now leave.”

“Make me.” I could practically hear the smirk on Clint’s lips, he would do anything to rile Loki up, to make him look bad in my eyes. It wasn’t going to work.

“Clint, when Loki asks you to leave you leave.” I stated, appearing in the doorway before them both. I crossed my arms and glared at the archer, though I suppose I didn’t look so threatening in my sparkly green dress.

“Nat.” Clint’s eyes widened in surprise and he took a step towards me, only to be blocked by Loki who pushed him back with a simple nudge to the chest. “How are you feeling?”

“I’m fine, but you need to go.” I deadpanned and took a tentative step down the dais from the bedroom.

“But I came to see you, I-”

“I’ll see you later, Clint. Loki has made it clear that you’ve overstayed your welcome. These are his rooms, he determines who stays and who goes.” Loki turned to give me sly smile over his shoulder before he turned back to Clint, no doubt rubbing it in his face and I withheld a sigh at their childishness.

Clint opened his mouth to protest, but shortly after he closed it, possibly realising no good would come if he were to argue. He turned to Loki, a deep scowl set on his brow and he turned to leave. He spoke no other words upon his departure, only giving me a terse nod of understanding before he left the room completely and disappeared from sight. As soon as he was gone, Loki turned to me, his devilish grin had left his face and his features were now flushed with concern.

“Are you ok?” He asked quietly as he moved to my side.

“I said I’m fine.” I smiled up at him. I may have been mad at him earlier, but I couldn’t stay mad at him for long. It seemed almost impossible to do so. “Though I could have done without the petulant arguments to wake up to.”

“My apologies.” His lips cracked into a wide grin, and he interlaced his fingers with mine. “To my defence, he did barge in unannounced.”

“You need to lock that door then.” I smirked, moving my hands to his neck and pulling him down for a kiss.

Loki moaned against my lips, his hands moved from my waist to clasp my face. I wrapped my arms around his neck, bringing his closer and deepening the kiss. I could feel his hot breath against my skin with every gasp, every pause for air. What began as a simple, gentle kiss became something more, something that raged with carnal desire. Loki’s lips trailed from my lips to my neck, he sucked, bit and licked the skin as his hands roamed over my body. My hands moved to his hair, as always, and I pressed my chest to his to add contact. I could never be close enough to him.

My breath caught in my throat as I felt his fingers crawl towards my centre, rubbing against the fabric that separated him from my bare skin. He took a step backwards, pulling me towards the chaise lounge in front of the hearth. When it became clear that we were moving too slowly to our destination, Loki swiped me off my feet and into his arms as he carried me to the couch. Luckily for me he wasn’t wearing his complicated armour, instead he wore a simple green tunic and pants, something that I found easy to pull off in my urgency to undress him. His fingers worked slowly with the clasps on my dress, as if he was unwrapping a present with delicacy. The moment he had removed the dress and underwear from my body I bucked my hips against his, relishing in the feeling of his skin on mine.  His lips brushed over my chest as he made his way down to between my legs. His tongue delved deep inside of me, and he sucked and kissed and licked until I was screaming with desire. I bucked my hips again, needing more of him.

“All in due time, my love.” He purred, and I felt his warm breath tickle the skin between my legs as he chuckled.

He worked his tongue on my most sensitive part and my breath hitched as two fingers moved inside of me, moving at a slow agonising pace. The feeling of his tongue and his fingers together was enough to make me involuntarily release a shaky moan of pleasure. My head rolled back against the arm of the chaise lounge, my eyes felt like they were rolling to the back of my head as I released another cry of ecstasy. My hands grabbed his hair, delving into his black tresses.

“Loki, please.” I begged. The words were specially reserved for him, I would never beg another living soul for anything, but Loki was an exception, especially in such a situation.

“Please what?” He questioned, pushing his fingers further into me with a devious grin.

“I need more.” I moaned, my hands pulling on his hair in eagerness.

“Ask nicely.” He crooned.

“F-fucking hell, Loki.”

Loki clicked his tongue, resigning to move his fingers out and replace it with his tongue. “Ask nicely.” He repeated.

“P-please, Loki, please can you give me more.”

“With pleasure.” He purred. I closed my eyes, feeling his lips brushing over my abdomen towards my chest until finally he placed a soft kiss on my lips.

I trembled with anticipation as he slowly moved his length inside of me, finishing off with a deep thrust. I ragged scream escaped my lips, and my hands moved almost automatically wrapped around his neck, pulling him closer to press my lips against his. My legs wrapped around his waist, pulling him down for each culminating thrust.

“You are perfect, Natalia.” He breathed in my ear. His voice was shaky, unlike his usual deep baritone voice. He sounded almost desperate, lustful. “I love you.”

Before I could reply he thrust into me again, harder in venereal motion. I let out a long coarse cry of pleasure as I reached my peak. I could see stars behind my eyelids as I pressed my eyes closed. I felt my body spasm as Loki thrust into me more and more until he finally met his climax. He collapsed beside me, his breathing heavy. We were both slick with sweat, and we lay on the plush chaise lounge with our body entwined trying to regain our breath.

“What time is it?” I finally asked after a moment of silence, only filled with the sound of our breathing. I realised that I hadn’t even asked how long I was unconscious after I passed out after dinner.

“Late morning I should think.” Loki replied, his lips brushing over my shoulder.

“I should apologise to Frigga for leaving dinner so early.” I mused.

“Nonsense. She’ll understand perfectly.” Loki notified in a hushed tone. “Besides, we have better things to do today.”

* * *

“Where are you taking me?” I released an involuntary giggle as the words escaped my lips, and I just hoped only Loki was around to hear it. Loki’s hands were playfully placed over my eyes, removing my ability to see. I had to rely on his movements to determine what way to turn as we walked down what I could only assume were the halls of the palace.

“Patience is a virtue, my dear.” He whispered in my ear. His warm breath eliciting shivers to run down my spine. “We are almost there.”

We walked for only another minute or so, from the clicking of my shoes that resounded around where we were, I could tell we were still walking in the palace. Finally Loki stopped, our pause was followed by a low groaning of heavy wood being moved, a door.

“Can I see now?” I asked, placing my hands over Loki’s and gently tugging them away.

“As you wish.” Loki withdrew his hands and moved them my waist as he stood behind me. “What do you think?”

We were standing in the doorway of what appeared to be a large and exceedingly grand library. Dark wood shelves lined the walls, briefly breaking up beside windows where large armchairs were neatly placed for reading. Golden spiral staircases lead to a second tier where more books were kept. On the right side there was one of the largest fireplaces I had ever seen, with two richly coloured red sofas placed facing the hearth. On the right, next to the library’s entrance was a desk, and behind it sat an old man, hunched over stacks of books and old parchments. As I took three tentative steps forward he looked up and gave a curt nod of acknowledgment and turned his attentions back to his papers.

“I can understand why Tony and Bruce spent a whole day here.” I murmured quietly. In such a vast and grandiose room it was easy to feel small and insignificant.

“You may visit the library whenever you wish.” He declared, walking to where I stood and looping an arm around my waist. “Most can only visit on certain days or hours, but you can come and read whenever you desire.”

“I’ll hardly have time to read much before I return to earth.” I countered with a small smile. Loki glanced back at me, a flicker of sorrow passed his features before he cast them away and continued speaking.

“I don’t know why I didn’t bring you here sooner.” He smiled, though it didn’t quite reach his eyes. “I must have gotten a little excited I suppose.”

“It’s amazing.” I turned and gave him a quick peck on the cheek and grasped his left hand in my own. I began leading him away, further into the room. “What book shall I read first?”

“This is a book that I have read many times.” Loki smiled, turning a red leather bound book over in his hands and smiling fondly.

“How many times?” I asked, leaning over to get a look.

My question gave him pause, and he narrowed his eyes as he tried to remember the number. “Is should think… Perhaps fifty? Fifty-three?” He chuckled at the look of amazement that no doubt was clouding my expression. “You must consider my age.”

“And that is?”

“Well, age is but a number.” He quipped with a sly smirk. He placed the book back onto the shelf and moved on to another bookcase. His slender fingers ghosted over the books spines as he searched for until he picked one out and waved it in my direction before he opened it and studied the pages attentively. “This is one that I believe you should greatly enjoy. It is about a warrior, much like you, especially due to the fact that as well as being greatly skilled in combat, she also has the skills of manipulation. And having fallen prey to such skills in the past, I can safely say that you are inordinately talented in this area. It is a great favourite of Sif’s, though she wishes her talents could match the warriors in this book, I should think she’d be quite jealous of you.”

“You flatter me too much.” I grinned, taking the book from his hands and studying it myself.

The sound of the doors opening with a large groan pulled me from my thoughts, and both Loki and I looked down from the balcony where we stood to see who had entered. A guard, heavily dressed in golden armour, marched into the library with long strides, he seemed to be searching around, desperately trying to seek someone out.

“Who is it you are looking for?” Loki inquired with curiosity, resting his palms on the railings as he leaned over to be better seen by the guard.

“You, my lord.” The guard replied, his voice was loud and confident, it resounded throughout the library, causing the old man by the desk to look up with frustration. “And the lady Natasha.”

“In a library one must speak in  _hushed_  tones.” The elderly man hissed before turning back to his work. Loki let out a breathy chuckle and began to descend the spiral staircase to talk with the guard further. I followed, with the book Loki had picked out still clutched in my arms.

“What is it?” I asked upon reaching the lower level of the library.

“I have been sent by the Allfather, there is news of Malekith and the Dark Elves on Midgard.”

* * *

We were rushed into a large room, ornately decorated and beautifully designed. But there was little time to observe my surroundings as we were ushered towards a large round table in the centre of the room, where Odin sat in a large throne like chair, Thor sat beside him with the warriors three on his left and a dark haired woman who I didn’t recognise. Loki reluctantly took the seat beside Odin, and I sat by Loki with Clint and the rest of my team on my right. When everyone was settled Odin stood up, gesturing for everyone to quieten.

“Heimdall has informed me of an army of Dark Elves forming on Midgard. So far they have gone undetected by the Midgardians, but they plan on attacking the base of SHIELD if they are not given what they wish.” He finished his sentence with less strength behind his words, obviously knowing that what the Dark Elves wanted was Loki. “We will send the Avengers back to Midgard, along numerous members of the Asgardian army to aid you in your battle.”

“What is it that they want?” the dark haired woman inquired, looking from Odin to the Warriors Three for information.

“They want Loki.” Thor murmured with evident sadness. The rooms atmosphere quickly turned uneasy, as Loki knew that a number of people around the table would gladly hand him over to Malekith without question.

“But they will never get their hands on him, as long as you leave hastily and inform SHIELD of this news.” Odin declared, sitting back into his seat.

We stayed in the room for another hour, going back and forth over plans for battle, when and how to strike. Odin and Thor seemed to have some disagreement over which warriors to send from their armies. After much discussion we were told to return to our chambers and retrieve whatever we may want to take back to Earth. I however had to quickly visit the medical rooms for medicine and a check up, much to my irritation.

* * *

Nobody spoke on the ride over to the Bifrost, Heimdall sent us off with nothing more than a curt nod and then we were gone. We landed in a field, not far from the base, and we quickly made our way there. We didn’t go unnoticed as we walked into the base, though that was to be expected, considering the fact that we had an army of heavily armoured Asgardians on our tail. We were met by Maria Hill, who led us up to a conference room where Fury was waiting for us. After informing him of the situation Fury ordered us to suit up and prepare to be sent to the location, in the meantime he would work on clearing the area where an inevitable battle would take place.

After dressing into my uniform I made my way down to the arsenal, and I began loading my guns, placing daggers in the sheaths on my thighs, and even to my boots. Clint entered the room as I was putting on my Widows Bites, smirking as he made his way to his arrows.

“You almost look excited.” He observed, placing arrows into his high tech quiver and slinging it over his shoulders.

“It’s been a while.” It had been almost a month since my last mission, and though I was happy to be returning to my duties, I almost felt unprepared. I hadn’t practiced in weeks due to being bedridden and too caught up with Loki’s return.

“I wanted to talk to you about this morning.” Clint replied, the change of subject gave me pause but I quickly brushed it off.

“I don’t think this is the right time.” I replied, taking my focus away from my weapons and looking to Clint properly for the first time since he arrived.

“Look, I just wanted to apologise. I guess barging into Loki’s room rude and stupid of me, but I just wanted to know if you were ok.” His eyes betrayed his stoic façade, and I knew how hard it must have been for him to say. His eyes looked sad, yet apologetic. “You’re my best friend, you’re like a sister to me, and even though I know you can defend yourself with ease, I still feel protective over you.

“It doesn’t matter if it’s Loki, well I mean after New York it kind of does, but what I mean is that it could be any man and I would still find it hard to trust him with you. I want you to be happy, and that’s why I cant help but interfere,  _because_ I want you to be happy.”

“I understand.” I breathed, and without thinking I pulled him in for a hug. It wasn’t something we would usually do, we were closer than friends, we were like family, yet embracing each other was not an ordinary occurrence. Clint tensed in surprise as I wrapped my arms around him, but he soon relaxed into the contact and hugged me back.

“You’re getting soft, Nat.” He joked, yet he squeezed me tightly as if he never wanted to let go. The prospect of the looming battle slowly dawned on me, and I found myself squeezing back.

I pulled away from the embrace, resting my hands firmly on his shoulders and looking him straight in the eye. “Now let’s go kick some ass.”

* * *

The Asgardian warriors looked around, completely in awe of the quinjet we were boarding. Thor grinned at their amazement, probably remembering how he had felt the first time he had boarded the jet, things had changed considerably since then. Clint and I strode to the front of the jet, taking seats in the pilots chairs and preparing for take off. I spared a quick glance towards Loki who sat uncomfortably beside his brother, much like how he had when they had caught him from Stuttgart. He noticed me glancing at him and winked, flashing his bright white teeth in a devilish grin.

“Are we all set to go?” Clint asked, buckling himself in.

“Ready as we’ll ever be.” Steve murmured from his seat as he wrung his hands nervously.

“Agent Hill, we’re ready to take off, are you?” I spoke into my earpiece. There was a slight crackle on the other end, followed by Maria Hills voice confirming that she was prepared to take off.

Maria’s quinjet followed behind us as we travelled to the location where the elves were last sighted. The journey was relatively quiet, save a few Asgardians remarking on the fact that their ears had popped from the altitude. As we neared the location I felt my stomach flip, for moment I suspected it was the effects of the poison or even the medication, but I was surprised to realise that the peculiar feeling was nerves, something I rarely felt when going into a battle. I had been trained to push nerves aside, told that they were a distraction and for years since I had only ever felt confident when working a mission, no matter how high the stakes were. But this time around the stakes were higher than ever, we were going up against another race, one that had already proved that they had a strength over me, one that also had an army of Frost Giants and Chitauri at their disposal, and this time I had far more to lose. They wanted Loki, and they would do just about anything to get him. My sudden burst of nerves must have shown, as I soon felt a gentle hand on my shoulder. I looked up to see Steve standing over me, his kind eyes gazing down at me with concern.

“You want me to take over?” He asked, looking towards the control panel.

“Are you sure that’s a good idea?” Stark interrupted me before I could make a reply. Steve’s jaw clenched as he anticipated the inevitable snarky comment. “I mean, you know what happened last time you flew a jet. I don’t know about you, but I don’t feel like becoming a human Popsicle.”

“You should relax before we land, go and take a seat at the back.” Steve smiled, ignoring Starks wisecrack, though it was clear that it agitated him.

I moved from the seat and found a spot beside Loki. A brief frown of confusion caused his brow to furrow momentarily as I moved beside him, but he quickly wrapped his arm around my shoulders in a comforting gesture. This caught the eye of a few other passengers, the lady with the dark hair especially, who gave an incredulous look at Loki’s display of affection.

“It’s going to be OK, my love. I won’t let them take me.” He whispered in my ear, his nose tickling my skin as he did so.

“I stand to lose more than I ever had in a situation like this, Loki.” I replied just as quietly, not wanting for the others to notice my moment of weakness. “This is the exact reason that I didn’t want to love you.”

“Well, I apologise for my striking charms.” He grinned, placing a soft kiss on my neck. I leaned into him, despite the discomfort from his armour.

The quinjet grew quite the closer we came to the location as the idea of battle finally became a reality, and with what we were up against it seemed everyone was trying to process that it may be the last time they saw their comrades. It could be the last time I saw Loki.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I'm so pleased that I finally updated this, ehehe, it's been a while! 
> 
> Only two chapters left, or so I think, I may go over, though I'm not sure. It feels weird that this is gonna end soon, sorry for the last minute announcement of that, I had been planning for it only to be about thirteen chapters long. Also, the 'dark haired lady' is Sif unless you already figured that out, in which case have an imaginary cookie! Urrmm, she'll be properly introduced in the next chapter, I just didn't think her introduction would work in this chapter.
> 
> Anyways, PLEASE REVIEW and tell me what you think! 
> 
> I love you guys! xxx


	12. The Price of Love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I don't like this chapter so much... I found it hard to write, so I apologise if it is badly written, I promise the next chapter will be much better!! 
> 
> Just a quick thank you to everyone who had been reviewing, your reviews literally make me so happy!
> 
> Quick shout out to AlisonAPD, Jackpittgregor, TheEmoVanity and TheFGnat for being so awesome and leaving such lovely comments! There are other lovelies who comment also, some are guests, so guests if you are reading this, you're awesome. 
> 
> OK, that's enough lovey dovey for today <3 x

The quinjet landed on a deserted area of land, just far enough from the opposing armies to not be seen, but close enough to make an attack. Maria Hill’s quinjet landed shortly after ours and she and the rest of the agents and Aesir joined us. We must have looked ridiculous, towering Aesir gods in shining golden armour, stoic faced agents in tight fitting SHILED uniform, a man in a red metal suit, a man in a suit that looked like it was made out of a flag and a perfectly normal looking man in a purple shirt and slacks. We were a jumble of teams, patched together in a short amount of time to protect a previous war criminal from the clutches of numerous different otherworldly species. I felt like I was about to be committed to a mental institution any moment, what made it worse was that the ‘previous war criminal’ was currently sharing my bed.

“So, what’s the plan?” Hill inquired as she stepped towards where the rest of us had been sat waiting.

“We divide our army into three groups.” Steve directed. The man was a born leader and the rest of us happily stepped aside as he began discussing the plan. “Each group will target a separate species of theirs, so one group will attack the frost giants, another will attack the Chitauri and so on.”

“Sounds good.” Hill nodded, giving Steve a small smile. “But how do we separate the groups on our team?”

“Each group has an equal amount of Aesir, SHIELD agents and avengers.” Bruce suggested, earning another nod from Hill.

The next half hour was spent deciding who to place in each group, Hill seemed to be apprehensive about putting Clint and Loki in the same group, she wasn’t the only one, but after much discussion they were placed in the same team nevertheless. Loki’s lips curled into a smirk as Clint stifled his murmurs of protestations. Steve, Thor, Volstagg and Hill were placed in a team with other agents and Aesir, they were to be going up against the Frost Giants, this was decided after Loki had deemed it unwise for himself to go against them, seeing as his powers from his Frost Giant side would be useless in combat against them. Loki was placed in a group with Clint, Bruce and Fandrall, and though I had insisted he be teamed with me it was already decided. I hated the idea of not being with him, of him relying on teammates who wanted him dead as much as the enemy did. I was grouped with Tony, who gave me a curt smirk and a wink, Hogunn, who had stared blankly ahead when his name was called, the dark haired woman, who turned out to be the Lady Sif. Two agents who I was already familiar with were also on my team, Agents Grant Ward and Agent Melinda May, I felt secure with my team, but I still would have done anything to have Loki on it.

* * *

“Perhaps it is for the best.” He muttered as he clasped my hand in his own. We were sitting in the quinjet again as others were collecting their weapons and preparing themselves. “I have unfinished business with the Chitauri, and you have unfinished business with Malekith, in fact I’m sure you will be the one to assassinate him personally.”

“I just hate the idea of not knowing if you’re OK.” I sighed, looking up into Loki’s bright green eyes, they were such a source of comfort. “And I hate the fact that I hate the idea.”

“I know.” Loki smirked with a low chuckle. “This is exactly why you never let yourself care for others, and I apologise for being so outstandingly perfect that you just couldn’t resist.”

“If you’re trying to lighten the mood with cockiness, it’s not going to work. I get enough of that from Barton.”

“Ah yes, the archer. How long do you think it will take before he personally hands me over to them?” Loki laughed and wrapped his arm around me for comfort.

“Give him the benefit of the doubt.” I felt him press his lips to my forehead and a large smile spread across mine at the contact. “We should be getting ready.”

Loki rose for him seat and brought forth his helmet and a long golden staff topped with a golden serpent head. He grinned smugly as he gazed down at me. “I’m ready.”

“Funny.” I murmured. My eyes were fixed on his staff as I rose to stand in front of him. “For some reason I expected you to have the sceptre.”

“Unlike Thor or Fandrall, I do not have a specific weapon to take into battle, like a sword or a hammer. My greatest weapons are my mind and my magic, but I’ve always felt a little strange when going to battle without something to hold, and seeing as it cannot be your hand, the staff will have to do.”

Loki’s staff disappeared from his grasp as his hands rested onto my hips, his lips brushing against mine.

“Loki… I…”

“Hush, Natalia.” He whispered against my lips. He his to mine, and my hands snaked their way to his shoulders and to his hair. My fingers curled around his black tresses, never wanting to let go. There was so much comfort, such a feeling of safety in such a simple act of running my hands through his hair. I moaned against his lips, fighting back inevitable tears, because for some reason this felt like a goodbye. He pulled away with a solemn look on his features. “Let us not part with a farewell, but instead, a see you later.”

With that, Loki parted from our grasp and slowly made his way to where his group was waiting. I quickly wiped away a small tear and hurriedly collected my weapons, stashing any spare ones into my holsters. I tried my hardest to keep my mind from imagining outcomes from the looming battle, but every so often I found my mind wondering to scenarios where one of us would not return. I brushed the hair away from my face and pulled myself together before facing my teammates, I didn’t hear the woman who had approached me from the entrance of the quinjet.

“So.” A stern accented voice cause me to spin around with a small jump, and I inwardly berated myself for being so off my A game. “You’re her.”

“Agent Romanoff.” I introduced myself, wiping away the confusion I felt at the woman’s sudden appearance. “And you’re Sif. I’ve heard good things from Thor.”

“No, you’re  _her_ , ‘the woman who tricked the trickster.’” Sif took a tentative step forward, holding her chin high as if to intimidate me. “The woman who chipped her way into his ice glazed heart.”

“With all due respect, Lady Sif, that is my personal business.” I made sure to offer her a condescending smile before moving past her to exit the jet.

“You are nothing more than a distraction to him.” She called after me, and though I tried to ignore her, I found myself stopping in my tracks to turn to face her.

“I’m sorry?”

“He may claim to care for you, perhaps he has even gone so far to claim he loves you.” She let a small laugh bubble over her lips and my blood began to boil at her words. “But you seem to have forgotten that he is the  _god_  of lies. This is just a mere game to him you will see soon enough.”

“And why should it even concern you?” I managed to keep my façade detached, as if her words had no effect, though inside I wanted nothing more than to ring her neck.

“Oh it doesn’t.” She smirked, looking me up and down with a hateful glare. “I suppose I merely pity the women that Loki preys upon.”

“In case it has escaped you,” I spat, some anger seeping through the cracks in my exterior. “We are to be working together in this upcoming battle. So I suggest you remain on my good side, or I will not be there to help you if the Elves happen to have the upper hand.”

“And what makes you think a god, like myself, would possibly require your help?” She scoffed, crossing her arms to come across as superior. But unbeknownst to her, I could easily discern the fret she felt at how I was unaffected by her insults and attempts to scare me and belittle me.

I merely smirked and walked away, back to where Tony and Hogunn were waiting and looking slightly uncomfortable, no doubt they had discovered it difficult to find a common ground. I heard a curt huff from behind me, and my smirk deepened. Thor had really fabricated his tales of Sif and how she was ‘such wonderful company.’

“Ready?” Tony asked as I made my way over to them.

“And raring.” I deadpanned, standing before them and crossing my arms.

“The team going against the Chitauri has already left.” Hogunn divulged as he nodded at Sif who seemed to be approaching us form behind me. “I think it’s time we went to battle.”

* * *

We gathered our team and began making our way to the Dark Elves camp. We paused behind a hill, Agent May, Sif and I crept up to the top, as we seemed to be the most discreet of the team, and hid behind a rock. We each peered over the top to gain a glimpse of their camp. It was a rag tag gathering of evidently rushed craftsmanship, and with tents that looked as if they would fall at any moment, but seeing as they were more concerned about their attack than their living situation it was understandable.

“Funny, I thought an ‘otherworldly’ species would be better advanced when creating a camp.” Agent May muttered almost to herself.

“The Allfather ruined them.” Sif explained, coming to sit down after catching a glance at the crowds of elves below. “They were once an amazing, resilient race, but Odin sent them away, he banished them to an abhorrent, abominable land. They lost so much, and now they seek revenge.”

“That’s why they want Loki.” I muttered in realisation. “Malekith said there was a price on his head, he’s doing it for his race.”

“Almost makes you feel bad for them, does it not?” Sif sneered. I ignored her jab and spoke into my earpiece.

“Stark, do you copy?”

“I’m right where you left me, Romanoff, and I hear you loud and clear.”

“It’s time, we’re going in.” 

* * *

We gathered at the top of the hill for a moment, briefing the rest of our team on the plans for attack. After another moment of preparation, we charged. Tony went in first as he managed to overtake us by flying in his suit, this raised the alarms of our arrival before we even got there, but he was making up for that by repeatedly blasting them with his Repulsor Rays. Soon I found myself in the midst of the battle, and the only sounds were the cries of the defeated and the sounds of swords and gunfire. A Dark Elf approached me, attempting to knock me down. I ran towards him and jumped, clasping my thighs around his shoulders and jabbing a dagger into his skull before twisting his neck for good measure and landing back onto my feet just in time to see him fall to the ground with a thud.

Their army kept on coming, more and more, and endless wave of pointy-eared bastards. I didn’t grow tired, the rush of the battle had my adrenaline levels running high, but I did grow bored. Their methods were all the same, and I began wishing I were tasked with the Chitauri again, because  _they_  had been a stimulating opponent, and then I could have been teamed with Loki.

 _‘No.’_  I thought as I pulled a dagger out of an Elves chest.  _‘Don’t think about him. Don’t get distracted.’_

I shook my head as if to shake away the thoughts and retuned to fighting. I looked around for another opponent, but my eyes fell upon Sif who was going up against three Elves and looked as if she was struggling to hold them off. Seeing no one else to go up against, I let out a small sigh and went to her aid. I jumped onto the back of one of the elves, taking him by surprise and gripping his shoulders. I rolled down his front, pulling his shoulders with me as I managed to flip him onto his back. He lay paralyzed in shock and pain, and I took no liberties in shooting him straight in the head. I looked up at Sif, who had managed to cut the heads of the remaining elves off with one swipe of her sword. She looked at the elf on the ground beside me and then back up to me, a look of confusion clouding her features.

“And you thought you didn’t need my help.” I smirked before I turned away and went back to battle.

* * *

As I worked my way further into the battle I felt a strange feeling come over me, the feeling of eyes watching me. I turned around, looking for the source, but I saw nothing. I continued fighting an elf that had managed to leave a deep cut on my right thigh, so I paid him back with a knife in the neck. It was the next words spoken in my earpiece that caused me to discover the source of the peculiar feeling.

“Hey Nat, I thought Loki was supposed to be fighting the Chitauri.” Tony said confusedly, and I looked up to see him hovering above me, looking down at the crowd.

“He is.” I responded, my brow furrowing in bewilderment.

 “Not by the looks of it, look behind you.”

I turned to see Loki jabbing an elf in the jaw with his elbow and knocking him to the ground. I didn’t hesitate to barge over to where he stood, a frown etched onto my features.

“What the hell are you doing?” I yelled over the noise of the battle and captured his attention.

“I couldn’t Leave you Natasha, I just couldn’t” He responded, cupping my face in his hands. I looked around us to see if any other elves were near, but none seemed to notice our presence. I narrowed my eyes at him. This wasn’t Loki.

“Malekith.” I muttered, glaring him in the eyes challengingly. I moved to swipe his hands off of my face but he quickly reached down to my neck and tightened his grip. His illusion faded, and his once handsome impression of Loki turned back into his true, grotesque visage.

“What gave me away?” He sneered, his fingers curling tighter around my neck.

“I know Loki when I see him.” I replied, though the truth was that Loki only ever called me Natalia, as he liked the fact that he was the only one to do so. I didn’t want Malekith to come up with some insult about me being sentimental. “And I’ve always been able to smell a rat.”

“You are more clever than I have given you credit for,  _Natalia_ ” He grinned maliciously, lifting me from my feet with his grip around my neck until only the tips of my boots were touching the ground. “But if you were really clever, you would tell me where he is.”

“Over my dead body.” I spat, clawing at his hand for release.

“That can easily be arranged.” He snarled, removing his sword from its sheath. His moment was cut short by another sword slicing through his chest. His grasp on my neck loosened and I dropped back onto my feet in time to snatch his sword from his other hand. I looked up to see Sif, drawing her sword back out of him as he dropped to his knees.

“It looks as though you’ve failed your people.” I murmured in his ear as I placed the sword to his neck. “And yourself.”

“No.” He whimpered with a curt breath. His hands clutched the wound on his chest as his pale eyes found mine, a look of pure hatred glazed in his ice blue pupil. I stood up straight, clutching the sword tightly before bringing it down to his neck as I sliced off his head with one fell swoop. I watched as it fell to the ground, his body shortly after. So lifeless and limp, it was difficult to realise that he had only moments ago been a powerful enemy, but killed with the easy force of a sword.

“Thank you.” I breathed, looking back to Sif who watched Malekith’s head as if it was about to jump back onto his body.

“I underestimated you, Agent Romanoff.” She murmured in reply, her yes finding mine again. “You are much more than Loki’s whore, in fact, I’m beginning to understand what he see’s in you.”

Sif gave a terse nod and returned to the battle. After seeing their leader beheaded, the rest of the elves came rushing over, motivated and at full force. The battle raged on, and with the distraction of keeping myself from being killed, I was successful in diverting my attentions from a certain God of Mischief. It wasn’t until the field we stood in fell quiet, and the ground was covered in the bodies of fallen allies and opponents that I finally let my mind wander to how he was faring. I found Sif pulling her sword out of the back of a freshly defeated elf and wiping it on her leg before sheathing it back at her side. She opened her mouth to speak but was interrupted by Stark landing beside us, his speechless landing was enough to tell me that something was wrong, usually he would have presented himself with a snarky comment.

“Hogunn is badly injured.” He divulged as the helmet lifted from his face. His voice was serious, which was almost surreal to be coming from a man like him. “Agent Grant is by his side. I’ve already counted the dead, and the injured and I’ve called for a SHIELD helicopter for aid.”

“Where is Hogunn?” Sif inquired, a line of worry creased on her forehead.

“He’s on the outskirts of the field. I can take you to him if you want.”

“Thank you, metal man.” Sif smiled meekly in gratitude as she clung to Starks suit. He lifted from the ground with her and flew off to find her friend.

I was left alone in the eerily quite field, checking the pulses of unconscious teammates. I found a cluster of agents and Asgardians, some were clapping each other on the back in victory, and others sat by the deceased looking as if they were fighting back the urge to cry. The battle against the Dark Elves was a victory, but there was still the Chitauri and the Frost Giants. I let myself think about how Loki and the rest of my comrades were doing, had they defeated their adversaries like we had? My answer came in the form of a large blond god, he landed in front of me, hammer in hand and a grave expression cast upon his features. His hair was matted, blood stained patches of what used to be glittering gold. His face was dirty, much like everyone else’s. He looked worn, exhausted, which was to be expected after facing such fearsome enemies, but there was something else in his features, something that chilled me to the bone.

“The war is won.” He declared, though what should have been joyous news came out in a serious tone.

“Shouldn’t you be celebrating?” Agent May asked from where she was crouching beside a body.

“Loki is wounded.” Thor replied, his eyes flickering from May to me. “I have come to take you to him, if you wish.”

“Take me to him” I answered almost instantly, running towards Thor and pulling my arm around his waist.

“But Agent Romanoff,” Agent May interjected, a frown deepening in her brow. “We still have to…”

“I don’t give a crap.” I snapped, tightening my grip around Thor. “Take me to him,  _now”_

* * *

Thor and I landed just outside the SHIELD base, all around us agents were being taken from helicopters on gurneys and wheeled towards the medical centre. I spotted Steve and Bruce sitting on a wall by the entrance, both looked shaken but relatively unscathed. Bruce was dressed in ill-fitting clothes that were probably offered by SHIELD after his others had ripped during his transformation. They both offered me a small wave as Thor and I walked past them.

“I brought Loki here the moment I found him wounded, it seems our battle ended before your own.” Thor reported as I followed him down the white halls of the medical wing.

“How injured is he?” I inquired. My feet moved speedily to keep up with Thor’s long strides. We seemed to be zooming down the corridor, but I was not about to complain. The sooner we got to Loki the better.

“Severely.” Thor answered, he kept his gaze ahead of him, but I could see the glistening tears in his eyes nonetheless. “The Chitauri were using poisoned blades, and seeing as the poison is specifically designed to harm a Frost Giant, they must have chosen it expressly for him. His wounds require Aesir treatment, but he is too weak to be taken to Asgard.”

“Can a healer not be sent down from Asgard?” I probed, there must have been some solution, and I was not about to let the only man I had ever opened my heart to die.

“I have called upon Heimdall to send several, it is just a matter of waiting.” Thor sighed. He slowed his pace and paused outside a door to which I assumed led to Loki.

“Then there’s hope yet.” I smiled, trying to reassure myself more than anything.

“Loki is very weak, Lady Natasha.” Thor murmured in almost a whisper. “There is no telling if he will make it by the time the healers arrive.”

I tensed my jaw in an attempt not to cry, the mere thought of losing him was enough to make my heart ache as if a knife was being twisted through it. I moved my hand to the door handle, and slowly opened the door with caution.

“You should go alone, my lady. I would not wish to overwhelm him in such a vulnerable state.”

I nodded and slipped into the room, closing the door behind me gently. Loki was lying unconscious in a large hospital bed, he looked so weak, so fragile, it was surreal to say the least. His lips were parted slightly as his head was tipped back onto his pillow, his arms rested by his sides. His hands were bruised and scratched and there was a long cut on his forehead that reached down to his eyebrow. I pulled a seat to the side of his bed and sat down, tracing the marking of cuts on his hand lightly with my fingertips. It was strange to think that only a few weeks ago I was the one lying in bed and he was sitting beside me. Loki always seemed so strong, so powerful, and yet here he was.

“This is why I hated love.” I murmured in a small voice. I feared if I were to speak any louder it would crack and I would fall into a fit of tears. “This is why I never gave my heart to anyone. I can’t lose you, Loki. You mean everything to me, as much as I tried to resist it, I fell hard for you, but I don’t regret a thing. I thought I lost you once, please don’t make me lose you for good, I don’t think I could take it. I love you, Loki, I love you more than anything in this world… hell, I love you more than anything in the whole fucking nine realms… and I swear to god, to  _all_  the gods, if you don’t come back to me right now, I will kick your ass in hell.”

There was no response, and I felt the tears prick my eyes once more. I rested my head on his arm and let the tears fall down my cheeks until the bed sheets were wet with the salty substance. I looked up at him once more, as if to seek out some kind of movement, but there was none. I cupped his face in my hands and feathered kisses up and down the cut on his forehead until my lips found his. I pressed my lips lightly on his and brushed away a few stray stands of raven black hair from his face.  The door opened behind me, but I didn’t turn to see who it was, I already knew it was Thor.

“Has there been no change?” He questioned, stepping to the other side of the bed and kneeling by Loki’s side.

“Nothing.” I whispered in response, my voice wasn’t strong enough anymore.

“I should have been there, I should have been with him, to fight alongside him…” Thor began, there was a hint of anger in his tone.

“There’s no one to blame but the Chitauri.” I responded, though I blamed myself more than anything, I could understand where Thor was coming from. “They are the ones that did this.”

“The healers must hurry.” Thor growled impatiently, his eyes glistening with fresh tears.

“Do you want a moment alone with him?” I asked, I was reluctant to leave Loki’s side, but Thor was his brother after all.

“I would be very grateful for that, Natasha. Thank you.” He gave a solemn smile and returned his attentions to his brother. I kissed Loki on the lips once again and squeezed his hand, knowing full well that he couldn’t feel it, but it was more for the comfort of myself.

I gave Loki one last look over my shoulder before I left Thor alone with him, but as soon as I stepped out into the bright white sterile hallway, I felt a strange feeling come over me. It began in my stomach and moved up into my chest, an ache that pained my very core, my heart. I wanted nothing more than to turn right back and enter Loki’s room again, sit by his bed and never leave him. I stood there, staring at the door for what felt like an eternity, wondering what on earth had gone wrong in my mind. Since when did I let the injury of another hurt me so badly? When did I allow myself to form such attachments to people? Before I opened my heart to Loki I was better off, I could complete a mission with no distractions, without my mind wondering to thoughts about him. Detachment was what worked for me. Detachment protected me. But I loved Loki with every fibre of my being, as much as I resented giving my heart so easily, I could never resent the feeling he gave me when I was in his company, in his arms.

I let out a slow and shaky breath, taking small steps backward and sitting down on a bench to wait. Thor had assured me that the healers would be there soon, I just hoped it was soon enough.

“Tasha?” I looked up to see Clint standing over me, one arm was bandaged and the other was holding a cup of coffee. He smiled down at me and offered me the cup, which I received with a small ‘thank you.’ “Fury wants us in for debriefing.”

“Can’t it wait a while?” I inquired, glancing at the door to Loki’s room and back to Clint to get my message across.

“I’m afraid not.” He sighed, resting his hand on my shoulder for solace. “He wants intel on every battle ASAP, and he trusts you the most out of everyone on that team. I told him Agent May was more than reliable, but he insisted.”

“You were in Loki’s group, did you see what happened to him?” I asked, rising to stand. It seemed Loki was the only thing that was on my mind, and the only thing my mind had the capacity for at that moment.

“No, but I was the one the found him.” He shifted on his feet uneasily before continuing. “I fought off the rest of those Chitauri bastards, they were about ready to cut off his head once he had fallen. He started shaking, Nat, real bad. I’d never expected to see that guy so weak, and all I could think about was you, how broken you’d be if I had just walked away. I called for Heimdall to take Loki back to Asgard for healing, nothing happened, so I got Steve on my earpiece and told him to send Thor over from his battle and help. I stayed by his side, I saw him grow pale and I had no idea what to do.” Clint stared down at the floor, as if he was somehow embarrassed or ashamed of what he did. He hesitated a moment and finally said what was on his mind. “I told you, I never want any man to hurt you, and if Loki died and I did nothing to help, two men would have ruined you today.  _That’s_ why I helped, for you, Nat, not him… And maybe Thor, I guess I have a soft spot for that guy.”

“Thank you, Clint” I smiled and took him in my arms for a hug.

“You know, I don’t think I’m ever gonna get used to this new hugging thing, Tash.”

“Learn to.” I laughed softly as I pulled away. “I think I’m getting too mushy for my own good.”

“You go and see Fury.” He smiled, gesturing for me to leave. “I’ll stay here and call you when the healers arrive.”

“You’re awesome, Barton.” I smiled before proceeding to walk down the hall to Fury’s office.

“Yeah, Yeah.” He murmured after me. “Don’t get too used to it.”

As soon as my back was turned, my smiled dropped. Clint had managed to bring light to the situation, he had genuinely managed to make me smile, but it still didn’t solve the fact that the healers might not get to the base in time, or they might not be able to do anything at all. The poison on the blade that had sliced trough Loki was specially designed for him, there was a huge possibility that nothing could be done. There was a huge possibility that I could lose the only man I had ever loved.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I added two of the agents from Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. into it (Agent May and Agent Grant) because what the heck, and I love that show already. 
> 
> Please review x


	13. The End of the Affair

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I was disappointed that you were not the fist thing I saw when I woke up.” Loki croaked, slowly rubbing his thumb over the back of my hand. His smile faded slightly as he took in my expression. “You’re worried.”

“How are you holding up, Agent?” Fury asked as I sat down in front of his desk in his office. His back was turned to me as he fiddled with a small object on his shelf.

“I’m fine.” I replied bluntly, I wanted to finish this as soon as possible and return to Loki. Fury turned on his heel and settled into his own chair.

“So you should be.” Fury smirked, leaning back on his chair with a small laugh. “As I hear it, you were the one to take down Malekith. Beheaded him, ain’t that right?”

“Yeah, with a little help from a friend.” I frowned slightly as I absorbed his words, feeling slightly sluggish after the previous events. “How’d you know?”

“I debriefed Agent May shortly after her arrival back at headquarters.” He answered nonchalantly, and at this I felt my blood begin to boil.

“Then why did you want  _me_  here?” I questioned behind gritted teeth and biting back the rising anger I felt at being unnecessarily pulled away from Loki.

“To talk.” Fury sighed, shifting in his seat to face me head on. His expression was serious and unwavering, despite how strong my glare towards him was. “I knew if Barton told you that then you wouldn’t have come.”

“You’re damn right.” I snapped, standing from my chair so abruptly I knocked into his desk, almost spilling a glass of water over a pile of manila folders.

“Agent, sit.” The director ordered with a small gesture of his hand. I complied, no doubt with a sour look upon my face. “I want to talk with you about Loki. Stark tells me he, and the rest of The Avengers know about your relationship with him.”

“Yes, but what has this got to do with anything?”

“I had hoped that the relationship between the two of you would have refrained from getting too serious, in fact I wish it were none existent.” Fury pressed his lips tightly together in thought and I could tell he was thinking of a way to word his next sentence more delicately. “Your connection with him almost got you killed, you were used as bait. And now I hear that Malekith disguised himself as Loki to get to you, and y’know why? Because he’s your weakness, he distracts you and he makes you vulnerable.

“What happened to the Natasha Romanoff I used to know? The Black Widow, who never let anyone or anything get in the way of her completing a mission? Your safety is compromised because of him, and it is dangerous for you, and it’s dangerous for SHIELD.”

“What are you trying to say?”

“If Loki is to survive, he will be transported back to Asgard, and I don’t want you following him. I need an agent who can stay at the top of their game, and not get distracted by a love interest.”

“Sir, with all due respect, what goes on in my personal life has nothing to do with my work.” I kept my voice steady and tried to alleviate some of my anger, but Fury wasn’t convinced. He tensed his jaw, leaning forward on his desk and resting on his forearms with his hands linked together to come across as somewhat intimidating, which he did.

“When your ‘personal life’ involves a former war criminal, Norse god and megalomaniac, then it does have a lot to do with your work.”

“What if I refuse?” I tilted my head upwards defiantly, I wasn’t about to be told who I could and who I couldn’t be with.

“You’re clever enough to figure it out.”

“You’ll fire me.” I murmured, chewing on the inside of my lip as I considered my options. I was an agent; it was part of me, part of my identity. I couldn’t walk away from SHIELD, not after everything. Once someone’s fired from SHIELD they don’t just get to live freely, as if nothing happened. Their whole life is monitored, they are put in danger when they are without weapons, former adversaries could easily take revenge. Not to mention SHIELD would do their best to keep their secrets safe. No one just ‘walked away’.

“I’m sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but a relationship between the two of you is impossible, and it needs to end.”

I rose from my seat again, sparing Fury one last glare before I moved for the exit. I knew from the start that a relationship with Loki was irresponsible and dangerous, and I should have listened to my instinct whilst I had the chance. A heavy weight had been dropped onto my shoulders, an ultimatum, and if that wasn’t enough, there was a chance that Loki wasn’t going to live long enough for me to make my choice. I would either break my heart or have my heart broken.

Gone where the days of detachment, of solitude. The moment I opened my heart was the moment I opened the floodgates to a bucket load of crap, of danger and of detriment. I had showed more emotion in the past few weeks than in my whole career in SHIELD. Fury was right, Loki was a weakness of mine, but something about him also made me stronger, motivated.

I walked through the halls of the base, so deep in my own thoughts that I took no notice of my comrades passing by. The world around me felt like a blur, and I never thought it possible to be so effected by compassion for another, but then again, what Loki and I had was far more than compassion, it ran deeper than that. I dragged my feet along the floor, slowly making my way back to the medical wing and taking the longest route to it. My mind was abuzz with theories, how my life would have turned out if I had never bothered to go downstairs on those nights when I couldn’t sleep, if I had never bothered to talk to him, to engage in interaction, perhaps everything would have been easier. I could have carried on the way I was before, but then again,  _before,_  the life I was living was inadequate. I wasn’t  _really_  living.

* * *

I had almost walked straight past Loki’s room, due to being so deep in my thoughts. If it hadn’t have been for Clint, who noticed me walk by as he was getting coffee from the machine, I would have continued walking, with no destination whatsoever.

“Nat?” Clint called, his brow furrowed in concern at my blank expression. It had been obvious that I was miles away. “You OK?”

“I’m fine.” I replied, though I didn’t try to hide the fact that I clearly wasn’t fine. I spared a quick glance at a window beside me, noting my reflection for the first time since I returned from the battle. My face was ridden with dirt, patches of dried blood that probably wasn’t even mine. But none of that could hide the dark circles under my eyes, and the blotches of pink skin that indicated I had been crying. I looked like a mess.

“The healers came.” Clint announced quietly, but it was enough to snap me out of my thoughts and give him my full attention.

“Is Loki OK?” I questioned, advancing on my partner slightly. As I observed his uneasy expression, I could discern that the answer to my question was not going to be what I wanted to hear. “Is he  _OK_ , Clint?”

“He’s conscious, but he’s weak. The poison from the blade is still in his system, and apparently it’s slowly eating away at his power… or something. They’re gonna take him back to Asgard in a few hours.” From the way Clint delivered the news, it was obvious he was trying to break it to me lightly, trying to find the best words for the situation. I knew he cared little for Loki, but he cared for me and he didn’t want to see me hurt from this.

I didn’t know how to take it in, it seemed like Clint was talking about someone else, certainly not Loki. I couldn’t believe for one second that someone as strong and powerful as Loki could meet his end so easily, so quickly. He was a god, and soon he would fade away into nothingness, like he never existed.

I moved to Loki’s door, if he was conscious then I could see him before he left. I pushed the door open gently, hearing the sounds of Thor murmuring something, and I longed to hear Loki’s voice respond. I stepped in to the room and immediately locked eyes with Loki. He looked weak, pale, and his eyes were sunken as if he was wasting away on the spot. A small smile curved the corners of his pale lips as I stepped further into the room.

“Lady Natasha.” Thor smiled, noticing from his brothers’ expression that I had arrived. “I shall leave you for a moment, if you wish.”

“Thank you, Thor.” I replied, my gaze never leaving Loki. I felt a pain in my chest just by looking at him. There was so little of the man I knew in him, and though I loved him, I couldn’t bear the sight of him being so sickly, it hurt too much.

As Thor left the room I stepped towards the bed and pulled out a chair to sit beside Loki. I picked up his hand and held it in my own, it was thin and bony as if months had passed and he had had nothing to eat. But only hours had gone by, and I began to wonder what he would look like in another few.

“I was disappointed that you were not the fist thing I saw when I woke up.” Loki croaked, slowly rubbing his thumb over the back of my hand. His smile faded slightly as he took in my expression. “You’re worried.”

“Don’t strain your voice.” I whispered, brushing an ebony curl away from his face. “You need strength for when they take you back to Asgard.”

“I’m strong enough to speak, Natalia.” He sighed, evidently not enjoying being the one in the hospital bed. “How the tables have turned, and only in a matter of weeks.”

“Shall I send you some books to read?” I smirked, and the grin that stretched across his lips was the most comforting thing I had seen in what felt like days.

“I love you, Natalia.” He breathed, the grin on his lips never fading away. “My little Dark Elf slayer.”

“So you’ve heard about Malekith?”

“Thor was more than happy to deliver the news. I told you, I knew that you would be the one to slay him.” He smiled at me proudly.

“How did the Chitauri know you were coming?” I found myself asking, evidently unable to keep back my curiosity and worry.

“What do you mean?”

“The blade that wounded you, it was laced with poison specifically designed for frost giants. They knew you would be there.”

“The elves had those blades too.” Loki disclosed, his head falling back onto his pillow from tiredness. “But the poison has no effect on a human. They were well prepared, but we were stronger, and that is why we won.”

“When will they take you back to Asgard?”

“Soon, I suspect in a number of hours. Why?”

“I’m just thinking of how much time we have left.” Loki’s face fell as he realised what I meant.

“You’re not coming with me?”

“I can’t.” I muttered. Loki’s brow furrowed in confusion, and I couldn’t bring myself to tell him the truth, not when he was in such a state. “Fury needs me here, the battle may be over, but there is still a lot to do.”

“When you are no longer needed, come to me on Asgard. There is still so much I wish to show you there.” He smiled weakly, and his eyelids drooped from exhaustion. It was painful to see him so frail, it was such a contrast to the strong and bold god of mischief that I was usually confronted with. He looked like he was dying, and that’s because he was. Tears pricked the corners of my eyes as I watched him fall into sleep and I squeezed his hand for comfort.

“One day.” I whispered, brushing my lips over his knuckles as he slowly faded away from consciousness.

* * *

I had fallen asleep in the chair beside him, the days events caught up to me and I realised just how exhausted I was. The slow beating of his heart monitor slowly lulled me into unconsciousness, only to be woken by a frantic beeping from the medical machinery. When I opened my eyes nurses and doctors were rushing into the room and tending to Loki. His whole body was convulsing and his eyes wide open without a glimmer of life.

I was ushered to the side of the room where I could only watch, no matter how much I wanted to hold him, to somehow bring him back, I was useless. Loki disappeared behind a shroud of medical staff, all of them trying to help. Two healers arrived, looking just as shocked and confused as the rest of them, one of the healers I recognised as Eir, who had aided me after I was poisoned by Malekith. She gave me a small comforting smile before pushing past some of the nurses and helping to aid Loki.

“I think it would be best for you to leave now.” A nurse approached me, she was trying to come across as caring as possible, but I could see right through her and tell she was just as stressed as anyone else. They were dealing with Loki, brother of a thunder god and prince of our strongest allies. There was too much for them to lose if he slipped away.

I was escorted from the room and left in the corridor alone. It wasn’t until then that I realised I was shaking, and I stumbled to a chair to sit. My heart was beating rapidly as I waited for news. Thor strode happily down the hallway minutes later, completely unaware of what was happening to his brother. He gave me a wide smile, but as soon as he noticed the tears falling from my eyes his smile dropped and a look of horror and anger took over his features.

“Loki, he’s not…”

“Something happened, he started convulsing, the nurses rushed in.” I blurted out, my voice on the verge of breaking and the more I was confronted with the situation, the closer I came to breaking into full floods of tears. “I don’t know what’s wrong with him.”

“No.” It was a mere whisper, but it pained my head horribly nonetheless. My head was aching; it felt as if my brain was pounding against my skull, endeavouring to break through its cage. Thor glanced at the door to Loki’s room, his whole body was tense as if he was holding himself back from barging in and rushing to Loki’s side. “No, the healers… they came, they helped.”

“He needs to go back to Asgard. He can be properly treated there.” I whimpered. I didn’t care that I sounded so pathetic. I didn’t give a shit. It was Loki’s life on the line, there was no time to inwardly berate myself over tiny, ridiculous mistakes.

“They said he might not survive the journey.” Thor breathed, he sounded like there was no energy left in him, like everything he had had been ripped from him in seconds. “Of all the risks I’ve taken in life, this is not one that I wish to take.”

“It may be the only way.” Eir shut the door to Loki’s room behind her, a serious look on her face. Thor and I both stood abruptly, awaiting the news of Loki’s health. “He’s stable and resting. But he’s weak, and he’s only going to get weaker. If we don’t transport him now… it will be too late. We have to take him while we still can.”

* * *

I watched as Loki was placed on a portable bed, his body was limp and seemingly lifeless as Thor set him down. I took his hand in mine and walked alongside the gurney as it was wheeled from his room. We moved down the halls of the medical wing in near silence, the only sounds were our footsteps and the quiet muttering of nurses. Thor walked behind me, every so often I would hear a terse sniff from what I guessed to be him holding back tears and it only made it harder for me to do the same. I gripped Loki’s hand so tight, fearing it may break under my grasp, especially when his body was so weak.

We passed Tony, Bruce and Clint as we made our way to the exit of the building. Clint quickly passed a cup of coffee he was holding to Bruce (who absentmindedly took it from him without question) and came to walk by my side. He didn’t say anything, he just walked, and it was enough. When we had made it to a clearing, not far from the base, I turned to see the rest of my comrades, Bruce, Tony and Steve, all standing with us with solemn looks on their faces.

“Lady Natasha, would you like to say a few words to Loki before he leaves?” Eir inquired as she approached me from behind. I nodded and moved closer to Loki’s side, watching as everyone else was kind enough to distance themselves to give us as much privacy as possible.

“I know you can’t hear me, well… maybe you can, I don’t know, but need to tell you something, and this seems like the only way to do it.” I sighed and squeezed Loki’s hand, placing a small kiss on his knuckles. “Thank you, for everything. I used to think that love was for children, that it was a petulant notion… and maybe I’m the most petulant child in the world, because I’m head over heels in love with you. Which is going to make this harder.” I took a deep steadying breath and suppressed a soft whimper. “This is goodbye, forever. I can’t see you anymore, unless I leave SHIELD and I can’t do that. I’ve still got that red to wipe out, remember?

“I love you, Loki, but even if I’ve got an hundred more years left in me, you’ve got thousands… millions probably. I told myself I never wanted to lose you again, and I don’t… but I have to. I’m sorry. Goodbye”

I let go of his hand, my fingertips brushing past his, lingering on the last moment of contact I would ever share with him. I stepped back from the gurney, the emotions coursing through my mind causing tears to flow from my eyes. I felt an arm around my shoulders, and I looked up to see Steve beside me. He gazed over at Loki’s unconscious form, a look of sheer sadness on his features. That’s when I realised, he may have been the bad guy once, but during his time of earth he had managed to touch the hearts of every one of us. Even Tony and Bruce came to stand beside me, their expressions just as mournful, and even Clint, who had every right to hate Loki more than anyone, had learned to accept him.

We all stood together, watching as Thor lifted his brother into his arms like a father would a child. Loki’s head tilted back, his mouth hanging agape, it was the most surreal thing to see. I could never have imagined seeing him so broken, but there he was. Steve’s arm tightened around me as Thor and the rest of the Asgardians grouped together, preparing to leave. Sif offered me a gentle, understanding smile before she turned to see to the Warriors Three.

I noticed Loki’s eyes open slowly, even from such a distance, there was no mistaking those piercingly green eyes. Though his head wad tilted upside down, I could discern a small frown crease his brow as he regarded me standing with my team. His lips parted as if to say something but before he could do anything, say anything, he was gone in a flash of blue light. There was a feeling of emptiness in my chest, and it hit me like a two-ton truck. He was gone, possibly forever. It didn’t matter if he came back, there was nothing left between us, and there could never be anything.

* * *

Months past by, and I still hadn’t heard anything of Loki’s health. I thought perhaps it was for the best if I was to forget him. I found myself once again unable to sleep, my nights were usually spent in the gym as I broke punching bag after punching bag. I never once went into the lounge at the Avengers Manor during one of my sleepless nights, I never went for a walk to the park, what was the point? The only source of happiness in my life was gone, either living happily in a separate realm, or dead. I would find myself wondering if he even cared about my absence, would he regard me as a mere passing flame, someone he cared for in a moment of his lengthy existence?

When I did sleep, my dreams were corrupt with images of him, but they were nightmares. I would see his rotting corpse, his bones, sometimes I would even see him laughing over my existence, making love to another goddess as the memory of me slowly filtered from his mind. The latter was the worst of them all. The books he gave to me were left on my desk, collecting dust since I never dared to go near them.

It had been two months since the battle that Thor finally visited us. He claimed to be visiting Jane, but he had more to his agenda than that. We had been sitting in the lounge playing cards when we heard him land in the gardens outside, and only moments later he had walked through the front door and into the lounge to greet us. I had felt my heart drop the moment I realised it was Thor, and I had to fight every urge in my body to run out and greet him with questions about his brother.

“My friends!” He grinned as he strolled in, hammer in hand and a deep blue material draped over his shoulders. “It is wonderful to see you again.”

His entrance was followed by greetings from the rest of us and he took a seat on the chair closest to him. The smile that was plastered on his face gave me hope that Loki was OK. If he were dead Thor probably wouldn’t have come at all.

“How’s Loki?” Tony asked before I could get the chance. By the looks on everyone’s faces it was clear they all wanted to ask the same thing.

“Loki is alive, and recovered.” Thor grinned, obviously elated with this news, but his smile faded as his eyes fell upon me and a thoughtful look overcame his features. “We shall feast tonight in celebration, for I am to leave for New Mexico tomorrow.”

We ordered takeout, getting almost everything on the menu because we knew Thor would eat that much. We sat around and talked as we ate, sharing jokes like nothing had happened. Thor told us about Loki’s recovery, how they almost lost him as they left the Bifrost, but managed to revive him once he had been rushed to the healing rooms. It had taken him three weeks to fully recover, but his magic was still slightly weak. I felt reassured with the news, it was closure after all, and I could move on.

It was around three in the morning when we all realised it was time to go to bed. Tony had passed out on the couch and had to be roused by Steve prodding him with a chopstick repeatedly. This of course, in our tipsy states, caused the room to erupt with laughter. I was clearing some of the wine glasses away after everyone had gone to bed, when Thor finally approached me. He entered the kitchen with a large book in his hands, a book that I recognised as Loki’s sketchbook.

“Lady Natasha, Loki wanted me to give you this.” He said in a serious tone, it was as if all the alcohol had been drained out of him in order to deliver Loki’s message. “I have not told the others, but this will be the last time you see me. I am going to New Mexico to say goodbye to Jane. Earth is under Asagrds protection, and we endanger it by coming here, so the Allfather has ordered we sever our ties with your world.”

I looked from the book to him, feeling confused and dazed. “Sever your ties? But…”

“We will still come to your aid in the event of an otherworldly war, but we can no longer visit unless a war is the case.” He muttered, bowing his head and turning to leave. “Goodnight, Natasha.”

* * *

I had rushed to my room moments after Thor had left, forgetting about the wine glasses in the kitchen. I sat on the end of my bed, staring down at the book in my hands and debating whether or not I should open it. I got up to pace my room for some time, I didn’t know if I could handle seeing what he had given to me.

 _‘It could just be the drawing, maybe he wanted me to have them.’_ I wondered, stopping my pacing and gazing at the book that lay on my bed. _‘But if he knew that Asgard was shutting it’s gates to Midgard… he could have written a goodbye.”_

It had reached half past four in the morning when I finally gave in and reached for the book. I tentatively opened the first page and I let out a small breath as I saw the drawings of me. I flipped through more and more, all of them just drawings and I couldn’t help but feel slightly disappointed. But then I found the page where the drawing I modelled for was, when Loki had seated me down in a large armchair as his muse. It had been ripped out and in its place was a small envelope with a wax seal.

With shaking fingers I opened the envelope and pulled out a folded up piece of parchment with Loki’s elegant handwriting on it. I inhaled and exhaled to calm myself and began reading.

_‘My Dearest Natalia,_

_I heard every word of what you said before I left, and if I had had the strength in me to scream I would have. Your words tore me apart, but I know they did the same to you.  I will love you forever and always, Natalia, and I will never forget you no matter what. You changed me, you loved me when no one else could and for that I am eternally grateful._

_I have little care for what my father says, I will not forget about you, and I will not abandon you. I will come back for you, no matter how long it takes. I can never love anyone the way I love you, and I never thought it possible._

_Natalia, you must understand how my heart is broken, every waking hour I am consumed with thoughts of you and your wellbeing. Every minute I spend asleep, I am dreaming of your face, of your undeniable beauty. The goddesses here in Asgard are nothing compared to you._

_I fear I may never feel whole or even the slightest hint of happiness until you are back by my side._

_Please find happiness, Natalia. Leave SHIELD and start a new life. You are a bird, break free of your cage._

_I will never forget about you,_

_Loki.’_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: So... one more chapter to go. It feels so weird that this is almost over. The next chapter will be a sort of conclusion, kind of like what I did with The Beauty of the Dark. Anyways, I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Please tell me what you think!!
> 
> PLEASE REVIEW xxx


	14. The Conclusion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I’m not going in.” She repeats, cutting him off.
> 
> It’s moments like these that he has grown used to, her mood growing sourer over the years and her reluctance to work with SHIELD only expanding with every passing week.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Wow, it's over. This feels really weird o.O
> 
> I started writing The Beauty of the Dark in MAY, that's when all of this began, and now it's over it feels so strange. But I hope you've all enjoyed it as much as I've enjoyed writing it.
> 
> Also, a big thank you and hugs for my lovely reviewers, AlisonAPD, TheEmoVanity, theFGnat, Female'wraith, thephoenixandthedragon4ever, ouLou98, Jshillingford, nightmareofcat, Anne. OMg so many, if I've forgotten any, my apologies, but you're all so amazing, thank you all so much :) xxx
> 
> This chapter is a little short, but thats because it's a conclusion. Anyways, ENJOY! xxx

xXx

  
**The beauty of silence**   
**is the noise of no words**   
**When everything I listen for**   
**is here when you walk in the door tonight, yeah**

**Where is the light in your deep dark room?**   
**A shock of white could save you from your shadow**   
**Why is the dark behind the moon?**   
**Out of reach until the light is shattered**

xXx

She sits by the bar, her blood red dress hangs flatteringly off her voluptuous form, almost every eye is on her. Just how she likes it. Her lips curl into a smirk as she takes a sip of her vodka and tonic, here eyes scanning the room for her evenings entertainment, so far the crowds of finely dressed men don’t quite meet her standards and so she returns her attention to the band that plays slow and gentle music at the far end of the room. She feel a hand on her back and turns to see Steve by her side, he leans on the bar with one arm, the other still looped around her waist as he orders a drink. When the bartender nods and goes to make it, Steve leans in to her, his lips a mere hairs breadth away from her ear.

“SHIELD needs us to come in.” He says in a low breathy tone, obviously as disappointed with the news as she is. He brushes a loose curl away from her face, disguising their status as agents with the pretence of a loving couple.

“When do they need us?” She sighs, setting her drink down and gently moving his hand away from her, the feeling of his hand lingering on her waist sets her on edge.

“Right away, apparently there’s a situation in Paris that needs taking care of.”  He moves away from her to accept his drink from the bartender, who eyes them suspiciously; this doesn’t go unnoticed by Natasha. She rises from her seat, taking Steve’s hands in her own.

“Lets dance.” She smiles, gently pulling him towards the dance floor, desperate to get away from the bar and avoid suspicion.

Steve picks up on her wariness and gulps down the rest of his drink. She drags him to the centre of the dance floor, making sure they are hidden behind the other couples swaying to the music. She rests her hands on the back of his neck, and his move to her waist as they begin to move together to the melodies. Natasha’s face is devoid of emotion, and Steve waits for her to word her thoughts.

“I’m not going in.” She says plainly, it’s not stubbornness nor laziness, she has told SHIELD that she would only help if she deemed it absolutely necessary, and in her mind, whatever is happening in Paris can wait until she’s finished with the Ball. It’s not often that she treats herself to moments like these, she wants to relish the feel of freedom while she still has it.

Steve sighs and twirls her around, finishing with a low dip, so that she tilts her head back, revealing her long pale neck. A few couples have stopped to admire how they move together, it’s mostly Natasha’s finesse that captivates them. She moves with grace to the slow music, it seems almost completely incomprehensible that this woman could be the most deadly thing in the whole room.

“Natasha…” Steve begins to protest as he brings her back up, she seems unfazed by the audience they have created.

“I’m not going in.” She repeats, cutting him off.

It’s moments like these that he has grown used to, her mood growing sourer over the years and her reluctance to work with SHIELD only expanding with every passing week. Twenty-five years have past since that day, the day everything had changed, not only for her, but for him as well. The day that earth was invaded by Chitauri, it had been a beginning to an end. She had been a top agent, one that all others aspire to be like, but it all changed after she opened her heart, something that had been closed for years, rusty and forgotten, finally found use when she fell in love with the God of Mischief.

She now regards it as her great downfall, the moment she regrets most. Steve can tell, despite her vagueness on the subject, the way she would brush it away with little regard, there was still something there, something deep inside of her that felt something. He learned to forget about it, just as she had, it was only the two of them now, he couldn’t afford to lose her.

Only a few years after Asgard had closed its doors, the Avengers had gone their separate ways.

Tony Stark had settled down with Pepper Potts and produced a number of children just as witty and intelligent as their parents. He made sure to love them and care for them more than his own father ever did, and still Stark Industries thrived. For a while Natasha would visit, but it soon became too hard to see them aging and growing old together, something she would never achieve.

Bruce had disappeared, after aiding SHIELD with his intellect for years, he finally resigned, and no one heard from him again. This was regarded as a positive, as it meant ‘the other guy’ had yet to make an appearance, and when he did SHIELD would know. It was rumoured he fled to Thai Land, to a quiet village where he could be peaceful. SHIELD never looked for him, the doctor had given enough for their cause, it was time to let him relax.

Clint stuck by Natasha’s side for five more years, he was her crutch after Loki had left her. They continued fighting alongside each other, and occasionally fighting against each other, but Clint soon became another bleak memory for her, another example of why she should never care for someone enough to feel hurt when they left. But he didn’t  _leave_ , he was taken from her, with a simple shot of a gun. There hadn’t even been time for him to say goodbye, the bullet through his head had killed him instantly. She had made sure to take her revenge on the adversary that had done it, no matter how much he had cried for mercy, she never gave it.

That was what had broken her. She had nothing left.

She had waited for days after Clint died, alone in her apartment, refusing to eat, refusing to even go to his funeral. She waited for Loki. She had screamed for Heimdall to take her to Asgard or to bring Loki to Midgard, but nothing would happen. She gave up, voice hoarse, her head aching and tears drying on her cheeks. She needed him, when she had lost her closest friend, she needed someone to help her, to help her back onto her feet, but he never came. She packed a bag and ran, breaking free from her cage, and she left SHIELD behind her. She went rogue for two years, SHIELD was relentless at tracking her, but she was too quick for them. It wasn’t a life she was living, moving from one place to the next with no idea where she would end up. She only knew that she wanted freedom, something she had never experienced in her life. From the beginning she was passed from the Red Room to the Black Widow programme to SHIELD, she was finally free.

They caught up with her eventually, and dragged her back to the base and sat her down in an interrogation room with Fury. It didn’t take long for her to be back on the job as an agent, but she was forever changed. She was colder, darker. Her methods of interrogation lacked the intellect they used to, and usually resorted to violence if she didn’t get her way.

Fury would watch her in the gym, he would observe her anger as she pummelled each punching back until it broke. It was his fault, all of it was, and he knew it. Natasha could have been happily living with Loki on another realm, Clint wouldn’t have pushed himself and worked the mission with her that ended his life. He wouldn’t have lost his best agents. He would watch as the last one crumbled into someone unrecognisable, and he could only blame himself.

Steve and Natasha would often work together, seeing as neither of them had grown old or weaker over the years. They had tried a relationship together, but it was nothing more than lust-filled. She was just someone to keep him warm at night, and he was just something to take her mind off of her pain. They looked out for each other on missions, and their relationship began to resemble that of Natasha and Clint’s. There was nothing left of the woman he once knew when he joined the Avengers, but then again, ‘The Avengers’ was nothing but a memory. They had a lot in common, though they never spoke about it. They both had similar abilities, their aging was slow, and they had both lost those they cared about the most. Occasionally during intimacy, Steve would cry out the name ‘Peggy’ or Natasha would moan the name ‘Loki’ over and over like a mantra. They never talked about that, it was another subject to go untouched.

Now as they danced in the ballroom of a large English estate, Natasha runs her hands through Steve’s hair, it’s short and cleanly cut and she longs for the raven black tousled strands. The alcohol in her system had weakened the locks in her mind that kept the memories of Loki at bay, and she closes her eyes, imagining it’s him that’s swaying with her, his hands that gasp her sides. She’s done this before, imagining him in the place of someone else, sometimes she imagines him as her adversary to release her pent up anger towards him. She hates him for leaving her, but she knows if he were to appear to her in reality, nothing could prevent her from embracing him and whispering her affections in his ear like no time had past at all.

“I guess we can miss one more mission.” Steve sighs, imagining its Peggy dancing with him as he entwines his fingers with hers. “But we can’t keep avoiding our jobs, we have a responsibility.”

“Just tonight.” She lies, watching with disdain as Steve’s fingers curl around her own. She fakes a smile and lets him twirl her around. She adores the feeling of flying when she twirls, and she releases a terse giggle that’s mainly elicited by the alcohol and the fact that she has gotten her way.

* * *

In Asgard, two figures stand beside one another in a large intricately decorated hall, they watch an image that has been cast upon a lengthy table. His spell work is magnificent, and he prides himself over the fact that he has finally perfected a way to observe Midgard himself, without entrusting in the gatekeeper. The image of a ballroom moves slowly as couples sway to a beautiful tune, and he watches her, the way she giggles, the fluidity in her movements.

“She’s happy.” Thor murmurs by his side, the smallest of smiles on his lips.

Loki smiles, watching the sly grin stretch across her beautifully red lips. She is as gorgeous as he remembers, despite seeming slightly older than before. If he looked closely enough he could detect the thin lines on her forehead, the creases in her brow and he smirks as he understands that they are from the years of her using her signature ‘death glare,’ something that had often been used on him. He’s glad she’s found peace, but he can’t help but feel angry, he wanted her to find peace with him.

He heard her cries after her partner died, and he longed to return to her, to comfort her. Hearing of her pain was sheer torture, but he was forbidden to return to Midgard, and every passing day that he was held on Asgard was another day of misery.

Thor shared his grief, he would hear from Heimdall how his Lady Jane was faring on Midgard, but after some time he gave up. He couldn’t bear to hear about her new love interest, her oncoming wedding. But for Loki it was much worse, he had to hear of Natasha’s pain, her misfortune and burdens, and he could do nothing about it.

So he smiles at the image of her dancing, pushing away the jealousy that riles inside of him. He still hasn’t forgotten her, he promised her he never would.

“She does indeed seem happy now,” He agrees, gazing lovingly at the woman, he almost didn’t hear Thor, he was too enraptured by her image. “I suppose that is all that matters.”

He waves his hand in front of the image and it dissipates before his hand returns to his side. He’s seen enough for today, but he comes to the conclusion that it was satisfactory. He hated seeing her contented with another man, but if she were contented, he was pleased with that.

He would return to her, he promised her after all. He would come back, but only when the time was right, he would leave her in peace for the time being, if she had moved on it would be selfish to take her away from her new life, despite how much he missed her.

He would return, in due time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: OK, so hear me out. I know it's not a happy ending, and I'm sorry... ehehe.
> 
> I may write an alternative ending, perhaps a happier one, if that's something you guys would like, just say so in a review and I would be happy to oblige. 
> 
> So I killed off Clint, and ended the story twenty-five years in the future... I'm not sure there can be a sequel... Who knows... maybe. I'm finishing off my other two fics, SHIELD high only has one more chapter to go and then I can focus on Darkness Descends. I'm thinking about a Medieval!AU, I've had some ideas for it lately, but I may only write that when all my other fics are done, because this has been so totally stressful!
> 
> P.S. Lyrics at the beginning are from The Beauty of the Dark by Mad Langer, I thought it fitting to put the lyrics of the song I put up on my first chapter of The Beauty of the Dark (My original Blackfrost fic)
> 
> Tell me what you think, as always I LOVE to hear what you think about my fics! 
> 
> Love to you all! xxx


	15. Twenty-Five Years

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A happy-ish ending to Know Thy Enemy, since I realise that the original ending was a little bit depressing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It felt very strange to be writing this again, but after numerous reviews asking fro a happier ending, I finally yielded and wrote the damn thing. So this is it, the happy-ish ending. I wanted to get it out earlier today, but I had to go to boxing day dinner that conveniently started at 2, in fact, I actually wanted to publish it on christmas eve, but I underestimated just how busy the holidays were. So it's not the best of my work, I'm totally proud of it, but I just wanted to put this whole fic to bed really. I hope you guys like it and I hope you all had a brilliant Christmas, and if you don't hear from me until then, I wish you a very happy new year! ;) xxx

 

Twenty-five years. It had been twenty-five years since he had the pleasure of seeing her smile, feeling her pressed beside him, running his fingers through her fiery red curls. Twenty-five years was more than enough.

He watched her dance with the captain, her expression faltering every so often from the feigned smile. He had always been able to see right through her facades, but this? This didn’t seem lie she was even trying, like she had given up long ago. He dispelled the enchantment that allowed him to see her and speedily turned to march his way to the throne room.

After his fathers demise and Thor’s coronation, he hadn’t wasted any time in making the preparations for his plan. He could barely keep quiet during the funeral and the coronation, urging to speak with his brother about his request. All that was left was the permission.

Thor’s name day hadn’t come at a better time, colliding with the same day that Nick Fury finally passed. Everything was finally falling into place, and nothing could get in the way of what he desired.

“Brother.” Thor acknowledged, sitting regally on his throne, Gungir clasped tightly in is fist and Mjolnir haphazardly placed by his feet. Thor could not hide from Loki just how miserable he felt in his new position of power. Loki always knew that Thor was never suited for the throne. He had the image of a king, but not the mindset. However, that was not why he had come. “What is it that I can help you with?”

“My lord.” Loki drawled with a smirk, revelling in his brothers irked expression.

“If you have come to mock me, brother.” Thor muttered, fingers twitching irritably around Gungir as his eyes flittered towards his old hammer. “Just remember who holds the Allfather’s staff and sits upon the throne.”

 “I have not come to mock.” Loki sighed, wringing his hands together uncomfortably. “As much as it pains me to do so, I have come to ask of you a favour.”

“Say no more, brother.” Thor gave a small sympathetic smile. “I know very well what it is that you have come to ask of me. My answer is yes, you may go to her.”

Loki’s eyes widened in shock and bemusement, but he quickly murmured his thanks with a curt bow and spun around to make his way to the Bifrost.

Thor watched him go, the happiness his brother felt to return to his loved one reminded him of Jane. A deep sadness overcame him, Jane was not so lucky as Natasha to have had an extended lifetime.

* * *

 

Natasha paused, Steve’s arms still wrapped tightly around her in the middle of the ballroom floor. He frowned down at her in confusion, wordlessly asking what was the matter. She merely shook her head and pulled away.

“I think it’s time for bed.” She said, her tone placid and expression blank. Steve had gotten used to how frequently she detached herself from emotions, rarely showing anything genuine.

“I’ll walk you to your room.” He replied, taking her arm and escorting her to the elevators that would take them to their hotel rooms. The sound of jovial Christmas music muffled as they passed the double doors that lead to the lobby, and the smells of Christmas tree’s that lined the walls made Steve heart throb. It felt like an eternity since he had last enjoyed the holidays, and probably even longer for Natasha.

They stood outside her hotel room, both wondering if they would be spending Christmas morning in each others arms. Natasha hated the idea, as much as she respects Steve, admires him, and would go to the edge of the world with him, she hated the idea of trying to pretend that she’s happy, that being together on Christmas morning will change all the shit that has happened in her life. What they have is fake, it’s companionship, but it’s not love.

Steve sighed quietly through his nose as he realised what is going on in her thoughts. He didn’t really mind, he knew that all they had was a watered down form of lust between them, but he still wouldn’t mind the comforts of someone beside him on Christmas.

“I’ll see you tomorrow morning then.” He murmured, feigning a weak smile.

Natasha nods, that expressionless way she does when she takes commands. It’s been so long since she actually smiled a genuine smile. “Merry Christmas, Rogers.”

“Merry Christmas, Nat.”

He stalked down the corridor, and she watched as he stopped as his door, swiping the key card and giving her one final nod before disappearing into his room. Natasha released a long sigh and turned to unlock her door.

The room was dark, lit only by the light of the corridor as she opened the door. In the old day’s she would flick the switch straight on, inspect the room inch by inch before letting herself become even slightly relaxed. But she’s lived too long, and the idea of being ambushed, knocked out when she least expects it, well, it doesn’t bother her so much anymore.

She can still hear the muffles sounds of Christmas music, and the distant chatter of partygoers, and she makes a mental note to wear earplugs when she goes to bed. She throws her clutch bag onto the small end table by her side and goes to close the door behind her, but something caught her attention.

There’s a rustle of her bed sheets, just loud enough for her to pick up on, and her head snaps in the direction. She can’t see much, only the outline of a man in the cold moonlight that filters through her blinds. He slowly stands, and Natasha narrows her eyes as she reached for her gun, trying to detect the intruders features, but her eyes have grown tired from the alcohol, and all that she can see is a dark blur.

“Do you not recognise me, Natalia?” His deep, silky voice made her hairs stand on end. It was a voice she hadn’t heard in twenty-five years, and never expected to hear again. A voice that made her freeze where she stood out of sheer shock.

The lights flickered on by his command, and revealed the raven-haired god standing before her. His expression was solemn, but his eyes glistened with tears as he beheld her for the first time in years. He had observed her from Asgard, of course, but seeing her so close, so  _real_ , it made his throat tighten as he strived to keep his tears from falling. She was just as beautiful as ever.

Natasha on the other hand, she stood stock still, her expression placid as she watched him, her eyes scanning his body as if to check if her was real. But she never let on just how her chest was aching, her legs feeling as though they would give way.

“I thought you had forgotten about me.” She said finally, her voice weak and she willed it not to break.

Loki’s eyebrows knit together into a frown, one of hurt rather than anger. “I would never…”

“Twenty-five years.” She whispered, her eyes falling to the ground, she couldn’t look at him, not if she wanted to stay strong.

“Twenty-five years of pain and torture on both our parts.” He stepped towards her, a hand reaching out to cup her cheek and she lets it. The moment they made contact, that was when the tears finally fell, carelessly, heavily. “You understand why I could not return.”

“Why have you come now?”

“The Allfather is dead, Thor has taken the throne.” He smiled down at her sadly, his own eyes brimming with tears, his face tensed to keep them at bay. “There is nothing that can stop us now, Natalia, come back to Asgard with me.”

His request was all she needed, she leapt into his arms, her own wrapping around his neck as she kissed him, over and over until their lips would turn raw.

“Yes.” She moaned against his lips, and his arms snaked around her waist, pulling her closer, if it were even possible. “A hundred times, yes.”

Loki grinned down at her, and she couldn’t help but reciprocate, her own mouth spreading into a smile. It felt foreign on her lips, she hadn’t smiled so genuinely in what felt like years.

“Nat?” She and Loki turned to see Steve in the doorway, his mouth agape as he see’s the god standing in her room, his arms locked around his friend.

Natasha felt Loki stiffen, his arms tightening their grip around her waist. He knew there was little between Natasha and Steve, he knew that he was only a comfort to her, and he respected the man more than any other for staying by her side when he couldn’t, but it did nothing to subdue the jealousy he felt at the idea of Steve having his arms around her, as if she were his.

“Rogers.” Loki nodded his eyes cold as he scrutinised him. Natasha turned as much as she could in Loki’s grip, trying to make the best of the situation and not make Steve any more uncomfortable than he must have felt already.

“I just got a call from SHIELD again, they’re adamant that we go in, they need us for a mission.”

“I’m leaving, Steve.” Natasha breathed, her heart heavy with guilt as she watched his expression twist into sadness. “Loki’s taking me to Asgard, there is nothing left for me here.”

There was silence for a moment, Steve’s lips tightened into a small smile, his eyed glazed as he observed Natasha in the arms of the man that she loved.

“Come with us, Rogers.” Loki broke the silence, his words caused Natasha and Steve to look up at him with shared confusion. “You have aided Midgard for long enough. I have seen it, your unhappiness. As I observed Natasha from Asgard, I also observed you, and I know how you are hurting. To live so long when everyone else around you withers, it is truly unfair.”

Natasha smiled at Loki and reached a hand out to her friend, beckoning him over to join them, but the soldier merely shook his head.

“You go, you’ve earned your happiness Nat, but Midgard needs at least one Avenger.” He sighed, watching her face fall. “I’ll be fine, you deserve this.”

“So do you.”

“Maybe one day.”

“I’ll tell Heimdall to keep a close eye on you.” Loki smiled meekly.

“Merry Christmas.” Steve smiled, and in a flash they were gone, the room empty save for him. But he smiled nonetheless, knowing that after everything, Natasha had finally found peace, and she deserved it more than anyone.


End file.
